Anyone started again from nothing with nothing.

[BLTpastasalad]

Has anybody left a DV relationship with absolutely nothing, no money, no job, no home, kids and made a decent life for themselves? Not necessarily just financially but feel they have a decent quality of life? I’m at the lowest point in my life right now. I know my circumstances will eventually change but I feel so behind everyone in terms of having to start from absolutely nothing in my late 30s.
positive stories or words much appreciated please.

That's so difficult. I just left and found a place to live alone but that was 25 years ago and no children. Not easy as a 16 year old - to find a landlord who would rent to me when too young to sign a rental contract, or to earn the money even to pay for the slum while studying - but obviously far easier than doing it with children.

Have you spoken to Women's Aid or refuges? That is what they are meant to do: to give you and your children a safe place to go and let you recover, help you get back on your feet, help you with engaging with Council or charities and people who can help set you up somewhere new to start again.

Yes. I now have a fab career, lovely husband, lovely home and gorgeous young adult children.
I've worked hard, fought back and it's paid off

My mum was in this exact position, and when she moved out she had absolutely nothing. To put your mind at rest, as child aged 6 or 7 I didn't even notice 🤣🤣. It's only since I've grown up I realise how hard it must have been.

Given I’m 2 years out I was feeling rubbish that I haven’t completely figured it all out yet. Reading this thread has given me hope I still have time and that things will get better :)

I left my abusive ex with a small bag of clothes. Had to sofa surf for ages. 9 years on and I'm married to a ln amazing man and we own a beautiful little house. The only way is up!

Not exactly, I didn't have a kid which is easier and I did have a simple office job. Getting life back on the rails costs a lot of work but at some point I had my nice old little home (flat) with second hand furniture, but MINE, a routine that involved going to work, the cheap gym or swimming pool for exercise, having a cheap coffee or walk with a friend and doing 1 hobby for social life and I became happy. It was so daunting at the beginning but keep taking steps going forward and you'll get there. It's an upwards journey so you might not realise all the change until you're further along.

Ended up married with a kid but now I also feel very secure in myself because I really know that I can take care of myself.

@Rainydays777

But I studied for a Law degree whilst I was with him, thankfully. I got a 1:1 a month after I left. I managed to get myself in a position to study the Bar, got a distinction in that. A distinction in my masters.

Wowser! Well done you!!!!!

Thank you 🙂 I wish it meant I could get a job though! 😅 finding it impossible right now… it’s certainly a long journey back after you leave.