Single parents when did you find love

[Faithalways]

Wondering if anyone is happy to share their story of finding love whilst being a single parent
I am not looking currently and I have no plans of internet dating in the future but I would love to hear others stories if willing to share

To be honest once you realise that you are loveable and perfectly good enough and whole enough on your own you go beyond needing a man to complete you. I had four live in relationships before ds was born. Totally overrated. We become weaker when we live with a man and stronger without one. Too many unmet needs in relationships. Men are horrific in relationships. Shut down disorganised obsessed with work boring lazy in the house. Poor listeners poor communicators and not in touch with their feelings. I fail to see the point in one. Ds is 18 and has just started his first full time job and I have raised him with at best 10% help from his dad's family since d s was five months old.

Sorry going against the grain here and societal norms!

@Zippedydoo123 Excellent post

I'm a solo mother by choice (I have used a sperm donor to conceive). I'm currently not (nor do I feel the need) for a relationship, but I do miss the physical intimacy though. I fully know that being in a relationship is absolutely no guarantee that my needs whether emotional or physical will be met all the time, and I will not introduce a man into my child 's home. I see men differently now than how I used to before I conceived.

No happy story to tell from me. Dating in this generation is hard and if you are a single mum with little support network it's doubly hard.

I've done 2 Internet dates and they were both positive experiences. One man isn't without complication but he's very respectful of me and polite. I came to my own conclusion that perhaps I was rushing too much myself trying to "find" that person. In actually fact I'm quite busy so I'm going to enjoy the dinners and cocktails 🍸 while it's lasts! Because it slots into my life too. I wouldn't right OLD off to be honest it's a social experience too (providing you find a fairly decent guy).

To be honest, I gave up hoping to find a man who is not dishonest or lazy.

If someone lovely were to come along, I would be thrilled but I have built a good life with a secure happy relaxed home. Any new partner would have to make my life better in some way and that would be quite a tall order.

Don't live with them if you find someone- blended families don't work.

I suppose I did - ds was 14 when dh died so I was still just about a single parent.

Mine is he least romantic story ever tbh as I had a year of pure grieving and a year of having sex with everything that moved. - obviously ds never met any of them. Lockdown stopped that.

I'm about to move in with dp who I met through OLD and I adore, but love doesn't feel exactly the same to me now, in a good way. I'm still in therapy and I understand why I do like being with someone and I don't have to suffer for it.

I met another single parent. We were introduced through mutual friends. It was pretty much Wham! at first sight. After many, many years we still don’t live together though.

We sit for hours moaning on about how shit it is being a lone parent!

I think I had about 2% input from Ex and his family raising the children. DP’s Ex left him and the kids, one of whom has challenging SEBD, moved away with her secret OM, and they never saw her again, so he’s had 0% for a long time.

DP and I are both quite damaged people in many ways, and recognise our limitations. We help each other out a lot. He lives close by.

Sometimes it does work. I had 2 children when I met my partner now. We now have 2 more beautiful children together and are very happy.

OP i wasnt looking when i found my partner. Sometimes things happen when you least expect it. I was content by myself with my 2 DC. DP came along and we are still incredibly happy. Dont lose hope ❤️

We become weaker when we live with a man and stronger without one

Never was a truer word spoken. I ended my last relationship because I didn't love him but still bawled my eyes out because I'd gotten used to having him around and thought I couldn't be on my own again. The one before that I did love, was completely devastated over and cost me three full years putting myself back together over. The ones before that were just as pointless.

Been single for over 18 months now and it's been over a year since something inside me snapped and died. I have absolutely zero desire for sex, a relationship or dating whatsoever in fact any sign of a man being remotely interested in me at all (even a seemingly decent one) makes me curl up and cringe. I've found contentment and serenity within myself and it's such a massive relief to no longer torture myself over not finding the shit Danielle Steel writes about.

After almost 39 years I've finally found the one - myself.

I've been raising 3 children for over 20 years now, one 3 month relationship sandwiched into which resulted in my happy accident (3rd child). My sporadic experience of online dating has been hilarious and functional. I am still hoping to meet my Prince Charming, but I have given up searching and am content to be me. I am sick and tired of the financial and social limitations of my current life so am doing an OU degree for which my life experiences are a bonus. Like Dolly Parton said, "Find out what you are and do it on purpose"

The best relationship you can have is the one with yourself. Plus supportive friends of course (and a supportive family if you are lucky enough but I have none).

I am happy for you but you will be the exception that proves the rule.

At a destination wedding. He is our hero and we all adore him.

I know several people in very successful blended family set ups most of which have been together far longer than me and DP and remain wonderfully loving and work well. Maybe people just are not with the right person, that can happen in blended or single no DC either side 🤷🏻‍♀️

I didn’t even start to think about wanting to meet anyone for 18 months after I ended my relationship with my children’s father. I just wasn’t ready and I needed a lot of counselling to get back to being myself. I just felt that I didn’t want anyone near me that could ever make me feel like that and I really didn’t think anyone would be interested.

Then I had a one night thing with a friend of a friend which was really fun and pleasurable and it made me realise I did miss, well, sex! So I tried OLD. I was just not ready for the sheer WORK and rejection of it! I felt like I was just in the constant competition with unseen lineup of gorgeous women. To be honest I found the entire process demoralising and I just couldn’t make it work for me.

i took a break over lockdown and a while after but then had a wobble as I approached 40. I felt so alone it felt like pain. But I couldn’t bear to risk any more rejection. I decided I would just look at OLD in a different way and not look for a relationship, just FUN! So I downloaded hinge, next day chatted with someone gorgeous, who I got on with, arranged to hook up… and opened the door to someone amazing! 2 years later we’ve just moved in together and couldn’t be happier. He is an unexpected joy in my life who I don’t think I would have been ready for if I hadn’t gone through all the rubbish before.

I love that Dolly quote @Willowview! How amazing to do OU degree!

Agree on this point.
I don't want to parent my DP children and mine certainly don't need an additional parent - co-parented well with my ex whilst they were under 18.
Happy to be a positive, friendly adult role model / friend though, but that's all. Saying hi, quick chit chat and the occasional dinner is where I draw the line.
Living together would really blur that line.
Plus we're both happy and able to support two homes.

@Willowview another ❤ for that Dolly quote. Finding my sexual true self at 49 [fgs] has been absolutely liberating.

Absolutely this. What is the alternative? I'm 32 I don't want to be alone until I die bloody hell!

I met my husband online ten years ago.

We were each others first date on that particular site and have been happy since

Met my OH 6 years ago via online dating. He had two boys 3 & 5, I had a 7 year old girl. Happily blended/living together. Love of my life & all children refer to each other as siblings by choice. Happy everyone is happy! Have some ex drama sometimes but all good overall 😂

I've recently separated from my husband of 15 years, together for 19, and I don't have the faintest idea where to start with OLD.
Are there sites that are good for late 40s single mums? Or (I'm a bit naive) any I need to avoid?

I didn’t, been single for 6 years. Don’t get days off like other single parents

How long have you been single @Faithalways

I keep making excuses about not trying OLD, and threads here make it sound awful for us older people.
I've been separated a couple of years, the divorce soon I think. Though it's lately I've been thinking that I don't need another relationship. My ex put me off - terrible man he was.