Can you ever know for sure that you 'love' someone?

[James637]

Deep question...

But I often struggle with this...

How do you know for sure that you love someone? Be it, a parent, child, partner, wife etc...

How can one know 100% that what they feel is love, baring in mind that 'love' has no standard definition, and you can't possibly know what other people feel.

If you say yes you feel love, how can anyone know that the 'love' they feel which is subjective in the first place, is the same feeling and intensity as what other people feel.

I feel love in my chest, thats the only way I can describe it. It is like a swelling inside my chest when I think of my dc and parents. My beloved Dad died 2 months ago and my god the pain is horrific because I loved him so much, it is physical right inside my heart. The love I feel for my Mum and watching her grieve adds to the weight in my chest. I think of my dc and feel this massive surge of weight in my chest too. Everything I do and am for them is because I want to be not because I have to be, a complete overwhelming desire to show them love.

I have always struggled with this question too. I don’t think I feel love easily. It doesn’t seem to come naturally to me. It probably dates back to a childhood where I wasn’t shown much love either to me or between my parents. When my parents died I wasn’t overly devastated. My ex relationships were ok but I wasn’t blown away in any of them with the exception of perhaps one where I did feel differently. That person shattered me when we split so that was perhaps the one time in my life I did feel true love. I do however love my dog.

I agree with what you say but I feel like not having children when you are older would leave a gap in your life. I would also feel weird compared to others. What scares me
is the fact that my emotions are so ‘wishy washy’ as I call them that I can’t imagine feeling strong love for a SO and kids and the guilt that would come from being in that situation would make me suicidal

You don't want kids. It's that simple.

A happy life isn't a life trying to do what everyone around you is doing. So they're all having kids, and you feel a gap... fill it with something else.

What really fires you up? What is the thing (or things) in which you can lose yourself for hours, and you wish you could do all day every day? Respect your feelings. Not sure about eating broccoli? Don't eat broccoli. Not sure about this new bloke? Don't have a relationship with him. Not sure about having kids? Don't have them. Love hot air ballooning? Fly them, read about them, by all the accessories, go on courses, meet ballooning types of people, talk all day about balloons, get a second hand hot air balloon off ebay, fly it, realise you want to fly planes, do a piloting course, meet loads of people who fly planes.... or whatever the hell random thing it is that you love. Identify it, and run with it.

Gap? What gap? Too busy having fun to notice any gap.

Such good advice, and not just for relationships!

For me it was when I realised I did not ever want to be without my husband. When I missed him it was more than just missing someone it is a lot stronger and it sort of hurts your heart.