Is a drink in your face abuse?

[Ohheckethump]

Been together 2 years and I am just going through the process of selling my home of 10 years.
In honesty I can't afford to keep it the mortgage has tripled the last 12 months.

I am literally putting the last 10 years of my life in a skip....its difficult. I came home tonight day 2 of bining my life and he has eye pain...its all about his eye pain .

I said I wasn't going there as I have enough to deal with this week putting my life in a skip and he through his full cold drink on me!
I just sat there and didn't say a word.

Sorry for the typos I am dyslexic and rely on my phone to type the words.

That is horrible! I don't know if an isolated incident is... but if he does similar things, or did this and constantly puts you down or verbal too then yes! That is unacceptable behaviour completely. From your OP it doesn't even sound like you were arguing or things getting heated, just stating you cant deal right now. I would be worried, if he would do that he is capable of getting physical is how I would feel.

What did he say OP? Has he apologised? Did you tell him that's unacceptable behaviour?

I think it is abusive.

Complete overreaction from him and utterly unacceptable. Please don’t stand for this.

I’m sorry about your house. Can you cancel the sale and take in some lodgers to help with the mortgage? I can’t imagine you’d want to live with this man a second longer than necessary.

You're not compatible. He shouldn't have thrown the drink over you but I can't believe your reaction to him being in pain, how cold-hearted of you

Cancel the house sale and move back in, if you haven't yet exchanged contracts. Do everything you can to keep your home and don't live with him.

I certainly would not tolerate it op. No way, no how.

So sorry about your house. That sounds so stressful and upsetting.

Yeah OP, it's not acceptable. That's a shocking thing to do and if he doesn't see consequences from this that result in his arse on the pavement, then you've just entered into a very dark place where you've indicated that you'll tolerate this, and maybe worse. Get rid.

And to echo PPs, keep the house if at all possible - switch to interest only mortgage for a spell, get lodgers, whatever it takes. Do not, under any circumstances, be reliant on this man for a roof over your head.

Please do not move in with this man. He has shown you he can and will be violent.

Well yes. Of course. But this can’t have been the first time he’s done something awful. Perfectly nice men just don’t do that out of the blue.

I would do everything I could not to sell. Get rid of him. Get a lodger. Ride it out. Eat baked beans. Under no circumstances would I financially tie myself to this man.

That is assault.

Yes that's abuse.

An extreme over reaction from him! Why hasn't he been to an optician or A&E to check his eye pain if it's so bad? If you're not married l would ask him to leave and as previous posters haves advised consider lodgers to help with the mortgage.

I wouldn't care how many years we spent together, how many children we have, how much there is in our bank, whoever did that to me will be gone out of my life ! That's pure disrespect and the fact he was able to do that shows you how much you mean to him !

Yes, very much so. Bin him off before it escalates, because it will. Honestly, what kind of a person throws a drink over their partner?

Eye pain could be very serious, potentially eyesight threatening, but presumably he’s a big grown-up man who is capable of taking himself off to the relevant place to have it checked out.

there are absolutely no circumstances that make throwing a drink over you acceptable. It is an abusive act, yes.

Yes that's assault and you could report him to police. I'm so sorry you're going through such an awful time with your home. He needs putting in the bin.

Yes of course it is. I really hope you aren't about to move in together because it sounds like a horrible relationship.

I think being dismissive of his pain (eye pain is really horrid) was wrong. But throwing a drink at you is unacceptable.

If it was the only time he'd ever done such a thing I might think it was a frustrated reaction to being in pain. But it's not a great predictor of the future.

It's up to you whether you think it's forgivable or not.

Of course it's abusive and it's worrying that you have to ask. Where are you moving to? Will he be moving with you? If so I would put a stop to that pronto.

Could you take out an interest only mortgage for a little while? Take in a lodger?

Yes it's abuse OP.

Please speak to Womensaid as soon as it's safe to do so.

Is he there now? Are you married?

Get rid. Unless you want to be with someone who feels it's ok to throw drinks in your face.

I would kick this cunt to the kerb so fast he would be wondering where his arse was.

If I met you on the street and threw a drink in your face, would you shrug it off?

I think its abuse. A drink thrown is designed to shock and humiliate.
Can you talk to Citizens Advice or your mortgage company about ways to keep your home. As pp said, perhaps a lodger?