Is a drink in your face abuse?

[Ohheckethump]

Been together 2 years and I am just going through the process of selling my home of 10 years.
In honesty I can't afford to keep it the mortgage has tripled the last 12 months.

I am literally putting the last 10 years of my life in a skip....its difficult. I came home tonight day 2 of bining my life and he has eye pain...its all about his eye pain .

I said I wasn't going there as I have enough to deal with this week putting my life in a skip and he through his full cold drink on me!
I just sat there and didn't say a word.

Sorry for the typos I am dyslexic and rely on my phone to type the words.

Yes he’s an abusive arse.
Stop the house sale, get lodgers ( up to £7500 I think is tax free, look up Rent a Room Scheme) do all you can to keep your house and get rid of him.

Yes it is...
Get rid of him in that skip too!

How are things this morning @Ohheckethump? I hope that you're safe

By definition it's assault.

If someone did it to you outside the home, you'd involve the police. It's assault.

If he's prepared to do that to you now, he'll be prepared to do a lot more once you're financially linked and it's harder for you to move etc.

Can you still sell the house, but buy yourself a nice flat or different house that is easier for you to manage financially?

Yes, I would call that abuse. I would be changing my plans asap for a future without him.

If I was in a pub or cafe and someone threw a drink over me that is abusive behaviour why would it be different with someone you know. That is the tip of an ice berg, you need to run now.

Why did you just sit there and not say a word? I’d have ripped my husbands hair out , which is why I suspect he’d never try this.

of course it’s abuse and it’s just the start. You need to end it and you need to not just sit there silently and let him abuse you.

Have you children with him? Either way, you need to separate. Throwing anything at you is abusive.

It's not clear if you are moving in with him, are you moving as your house is too expensive. I hope he's not pressuring you to live with him, has he been short tempered before.

Yes, it is abuse. Cancel the sale if at all possible. He will only get worse.

I think your reaction was unsupportive. Eye pain is horrible. I think he was more wrong to throw the drink in your face.

Yes it’s abusive and I can tell you exactly why he did it!

You’re in the process of giving up what previously gave you power and independence and most importantly the ability to just leave. You came home from what no doubt was an extremely emotional and difficult day, he felt his pain was more important than your pain (and if he thinks this now, he will always think it, you could be at deaths door but if his toe is hurting your going to know about it and copious amounts of sympathy from you will be needed) so when he started moaning about his eye and you were less than sympathetic given what your going through, he decided to punish your lack of sympathy by throwing his drink over you, and he felt he could do it with little to no consequences as he now views you as trapped. In short he did it because he wanted to and because he thinks he can because he doesn’t think you can or will leave. Prove him wrong!!! What he did was unforgivable.

If you haven’t seen any red flags before this I can pretty much guarantee that your going to be seeing a lot more now if you stay.

For some people sympathy/empathy is a one way street, it must only go in their direction which means that you will never have support when you need it, but you will always be expected to give support to them. Honestly, fuck that for a game of soldiers!! I promise you can and will do better!

That's just plain nasty.

He can go and seek help for eye whether it he painkillers or medical help etc.

Throwing his drink at you because you didn't baby him is a sign of things to come.

I would immediately finish the relationship unless I was concerned that would bring more violence.

I'm sorry about your home but life is a book with many chapters and whilst it's upsetting that this chapter is ending, you have a new chapter ahead of you and who knows what that will bring.

Your proactiveness in sorting it out and understanding and accepting that you have to move on shows your strength of character.

He has shown you his weak character.

New home ahead and new chances of meeting a man with a good character.

Wishing you lots of luck.

Yes that is abuse!

Excellent post from @Lillygolightly

It's assault.

And he's a straight up psychopath.

Run. Fast and far.

It's assault.

This x1000

My exH throwing a drink at me was my ‘last straw’ moment. Left him two weeks later.

it is abuse.

Has it always been about him?

I think we all get a pass now and again to say “I’m at my limit, I can’t take anymore” and be listened to.

He basically was annoyed you had needs, showed no empathy and abused you. Not great at all.