Oh relationship with dc , bad parenting or.

[Helpisonthewaydear]

I feel like im constantly correcting him. Do I need to lay off? I'm not perfect, am I overly sensitive due to being pregnant.
If anyone knows of any parenting books as I think this would help him..

Some examples- called
dd bugs bunny, freckle face.
Says she always needs praise an it's a bad thing.

Calls ds a girl when he couldn't do something, said he had girls feet when his sliders rubbed & I said he always has problems with sandals rubbing.
Tells ds to ignore me on hol when I asked him to get more Suncream, later he had sore sunburn. Telling him he's got a weird smile & to smile properly on pics.

Is your OH the father of your children?

Yes @MostlyHappyMummy

Why is he trying to reduce your child's self confidence does he have issues himself? Is he like this with you?

@jannier this is exactly my concern & I've also said this to him. He Denys that's what he's doing, doesn’t mean it, says I'm raising them too girly or too sensitive. I'm at my wits end and feel like a broken record.
I don't know if he can see its confidence knocking.

That's a shame - he sounds unpleasant and it can't be nice for your children to be ridiculed by a parent. It will shape their opinion of themselves forever

He's horrible

And there's not a chance he'd take parenting advice.

Goodness me he sounds like such a bully. My mum and dad regularly commented on my weight as a child and teen… shock horror I had an eating disorder as a teen and now a horrendous relationship with food. This stuff sticks and needs to be nipped in the bud now. You need to emotionally protect your children.

Yeah an asshole and a shit dad.

Thanks, so I'm not overreacting or being sensitive.
I will monitor this and continue to support & step in for my children. I had no confidence as a child and definitely do not want the same for my children. I was ridiculed at times & never really encouraged or supported growing up.

You will need to get this man out of your day to day lives ultimately.

We learn about relationships first and foremost from our parents, what did yours teach you?.

History re yourself is repeating itself with your children. He is undermining your kids confidence in front of your very eyes.

How awful for you and your kids having to listen to this. To be honest, I’d probably leave, to me it wouldn’t be worth sacrificing my kids mental health, why anyone would want to hurt their kids feelings is beyond me and I couldn’t stand by and watch it happen. He obv won’t change, as when you’ve brought it up he’s blamed you for being soft.

The thing is my son always says I've dad or I like dad, eg when who he's sitting to in a restaurant, on a plane etc..
It's not every day but I do think I will start keeping notes. Over the next few months,
I do think he's jealous of how close I am to my daughter

That should say, he always says stuff like "I love dad more"

So he's sexist. Most of his insults and comments centre around the kids being "too girly". OP, you've got to bin him. Your kids will be damaged hearing this regularly. Do you want them growing up thinking this is normal and how they should view themselves and the world? That girly is bad, and that displaying anything that could be considered girly is bad, and that to express discomfort or desire for kind words is bad and should be repressed?

Want to add, as well, that hearing things like this at a young age stay with people for life. "Bugs bunny" may very well reverberate through your daughter's mind for years. Seriously. Please don't allow this to go on a moment longer, OP. You must protect your children's mental health.

So he is well on his way to emotionally abusing his children.

What an arsehole.

You need to call Womens aid for advice.

He is doing them potentially real damage.

Tell your GP he mocks them constantly.

This happened to you as a child?

Probably why you ended up with an arsehole.

Is someone like him what you want for your daughter?

Keep careful dated notes.

Nasty bullying arsehole.

Poor children.

But is this your son not reaching out to try and gain approval from a dad who uses name calling to insult and belittle him. Therefore he is seeking approval and love as he feels like he isn’t enough for your DH. He doesn’t need reassurance from you, he is already comfortable he has it, maybe?

My dad was like this. I wish my mum had taken us away. I’m now 44 and barely see him, please don’t be like them.

Hi everyone, I know this post is from a few weeks ago now, I said I'd monitor the situation.
He's called her freckle face again today. I Saif hey! And pulled a face to him. Then later when she couldn't hear I asked him not to call her that as it will stick in her mind, may knock her confidence etc..
He'd gone berserk, saying "your not telling me what to do and controlling me. I'm not raising snowflake kids". Also said "she's clearly not bothered so she's strong not insecure like you"
He thinks I'm being to woke, gay pride, snowflake generation. (These were all his words) by the way.
He then got really angry in the restaurant and walked off to the loo.
He said I'm making a big issue out of it when she wasn't even bothered and he will carry on the way he his.
He doesn't want me using my insecurity to be causing issues with the way he is.

He's brought up other things which have happened this week that are stressing me out and saying I'm being like this because I'm stressed over what someone else has said, also he thinks I'm copying. There was an issue with my dc in school not being kind to another child.

Anyone help?

You are with a highly abusive nasty man who bullys you and your children.

God help you.

This is yours and their life until you reach out for support.

I am so sorry but he really is awful.

Have you family or friends to call?

Women's aid are there for you.

You need to leave him

I've not told family about this wanted opinions from mn first. Thank you both for replying.
I do have family I can speak to and they will fully support me if/ when I decide to leave.
I cannot ask him to go as he owns the house, he doesn't think he's wrong either. All I can do right now is sit tight and look for somewhere to rent.
I am also due to give birth in 4 months so timing not great.

This is going to sound weird but is he in the military or from a military family? This sounds like the sort of forces 'humour' that they use with each other but can be tough on kids. I am from a forces background and recognise this as a feature of their 'way'

That is great that you have support in family.

Tell them.

Tell your health team that you and your children are being abused and terrorised by him.

Ask for help.

There is no shame in asking for help to protect children being bullied and emotionally abused.

Do not engage further with him.

Are you married?

If not, contact DV organisations for support and to look at possible housing help.

I know this is overwhelming but talk to your family and start planning.

Keep posting if you like.
We are here for you.