Oh relationship with dc , bad parenting or.

[Helpisonthewaydear]

I feel like im constantly correcting him. Do I need to lay off? I'm not perfect, am I overly sensitive due to being pregnant.
If anyone knows of any parenting books as I think this would help him..

Some examples- called
dd bugs bunny, freckle face.
Says she always needs praise an it's a bad thing.

Calls ds a girl when he couldn't do something, said he had girls feet when his sliders rubbed & I said he always has problems with sandals rubbing.
Tells ds to ignore me on hol when I asked him to get more Suncream, later he had sore sunburn. Telling him he's got a weird smile & to smile properly on pics.

@namechange998 no he's not in the forces neither are his family.

Thanks @billy1966
I wouldn't feel right seeking help. I'd be worried involving agencies. I am not in immediate danger as many are.

You don't have to be in danger you and your children are being abused staying to sort out money is allowing abuse to continue contacting agencies can mean they help you get the deposit.

@jannier I know I'm just so embarrassed and I'd worry if social services became involved, especially being pregnant too.
And it's not every day I do think I can muddle along whilst looking for somewhere in secret.
I do have a couple of thousand in savings that I can use for a deposit but I'd rather apply for social housing as renting isn't as secure and its really expensive.
I am also not earning at the minute so living off child benefits and a few hundred what he transfers to my account once a month.
I am hoping to find somewhere near dc school.
Part of me still doubts if I am being controlling & raising them to be too sensitive.

Another update sorry if its boring I am yet to seek advice from family.
He came to me yesterday saying it was all my fault his shouting and reaction was because I triggered him & I shouldn't have said anything to him about what he called her after he'd had a few beers. I also shouldn't have said it infront of her (she couldn't hear me)
So if I don't trigger him he won't react and shout/ get angry.
I have applied to housing this morning, not sure if I've filled the forms in right but hopefully I have. Heads a mess.

He is just trying to blame you for his awful behaviour and treatment of you and his children.

You can listen to his bullshit or you can move forward and protect your children

He is defensive because you called out his behaviour.

You are all your children have.

Your choice is to listen to his bullying of your children or save them.

Ignore him and make your plans.

Tell everyone why you are leaving.

He is a spotless Macho Man, isn't he?

All the strength for you and please do not let him undermine your or your kids confidence.

He is a narcissist. My Ex was the same was overly rough with the children , called it interaction , picked at their appearance, called it character building .
Would throw a huge tantrum everytime I picked him up on his behavior.
I would like to say I left him straight away but I didn't . He did my kids a lot of emotional damage by the time I left .
Read up a bit about narcissists and plan your exit .

Thanks @evrey I've often thought that to be honest. How was ur ex with you when you were leaving? I know he's going to make it difficult or refuse to separate. I know its my choice, I've already applied to housing.

I will do thank you @billy1966 & @Epidote

To all those saying leave him to prevent the children being exposed to this, op would not legally be able to prevent contact. Not even on the basis of being verbally shite to your kids.

You posted exactly the same thing a week or so ago, why are you asking same thing again?

I'm simply updating the thread
Why bother commenting just scroll on if it bothers you & god forbid you ever need help or advice @BluNomad

No need for being so defensive, it’s not an update you are asking exactly the same thing as a new thread so wondered why, just thought it’s bit bizarre as you already had advice/comments previously

He made my life very difficult when I left. He wasn't nice to the children as he said my daughter 'looked like me ,so she irritated him' he turned many mutual friends against me , refused to pay maintenance. But all this aside I don't regret leaving as I have peace now .

It is an update because the first time I posted I said what he done and said I'd monitor it then on the update which was 2 weeks later I updated the thread saying he done it again which is when I pulled him on it. @BluNomad

Just backing up a bit, your son will say he loves his dad more. That doesn’t sound like something a child would say in a calm moment. Maybe when being told off by one parent they might say that. To me it sounds like he is being coached to say it, using your son to hurt you and probably messing with your son’s head at the same time. Your OH is utterly toxic

Thank you @Lurkingandlearning I know it was the days after he hurt him too that he was saying that.

No one is saying she can stop him having contact, but she will be able to provide a calm safe home.

Eventually the children will decide on how much they see of him.

But at least after seeing him, they know they can return to the calm of a safe uncritical bullying home.

You can do this OP.

Keep posting.
We are here for you.

Thank you @billy1966 I feel like I'm being a pain in posting . But I still will, I feel torn today as he's being 'nice'
It's hard but I am just waiting it out until I hear back from housing application.