Should I be worried?

[Zigzaggy1]

Bit of back story …
Married over 10 years, 2DC. Husband had an affair yrs ago. We worked through it, identified the problems and have worked hard to fix them. It was tough but I honestly got over and have felt no need to check his behaviour, nor have I worried about him doing it again.

And then …

He has a work colleague. He kept mentioning her name in conversation which rattled me a bit. This is how the original affair was eventually found out. I get it they work together and have to communicate. I let it go. We then get invited to her wedding. Great she’s getting married, I don’t need to worry.
Then I saw messages on his works phone. I didn’t open them, so only saw her messages and not his responses. Talking about his home life. Confronted him, lots of reassurances and thought he’d be an idiot to do it again. But I’ve had this gut feeling for months. Her name is always there, on social media, at work etc. I’ve done something stupid and snooped. I know I shouldn’t have but I’ve felt so anxious.
They have been messaging for a while and I’m not sure how to take it. I feel hurt, humiliated and lied to. It seems like banter, but flirty banter. Lots of miss yous. A few messages being mean about me. Jokes about marrying each other and putting a smile on each others faces and selfies.
I don’t want to confront as I feel I need concrete proof something has happened. I’m just so lost.

As soon as you are separated, student finance will change and be based in your income only.
I suspect this will make a big difference to you too.

And btw, carry on with your training. I don’t know how far you are, but I can tell you
You are worth it.
Youll get through it
And you are the one who lk come out well out if all of this.

Ive gone back studying as a mature student too. I’ve seen plenty of mature students going through that sort of events during our studies. From having a baby to loosing a baby. From getting married to being divorced (or becoming a widow). Those women still made it. They were ace. And so will you!

Might seem harsh but yes you are an idiot. Cheaters don't change!

He probably just didn't want to break up his easy family. Are you a SAHM by any chance?

I'm trying not trying to be mean but I just wish people would have more self respect. You do not need concrete proof.

When there's doubt, there's no doubt.

" Jokes about marrying each other and putting a smile on each others faces and selfies."

This would be enough for me to end the relationship OP.

What you've written about the content of their messages - would be more than enough for me to end that marriage.

And shes getting married in a couple of months? Jesus, send those screenshots to her poor bloke! Save the poor man from making the biggest mistake of his life!

Agree with @Bookworm20 that OW’s fiancé deserves to know.

Any update? X

Me too. Your husband and OW are both disgusting.
A few messages being mean about me. Jokes about marrying each other and putting a smile on each others faces They are treating you with contempt. This is unforgiveable.

This is a lovely positive story and hopefully OP you can see that there will be a brighter future for you once you get rid of this idiot