Did I ruin the thing what we had because I couldn’t forgive him for going on a dating show?

[MJdey4you]

Okay so because I couldn’t write the whole question in the story, I’ll say it here.
This guy and I had been talking for 4 months but then things started getting rocky when he went on this dating show and claimed it was PR for his job. I just couldn’t bring myself to believe him and I felt hurt. We weren’t dating yet but I genuinely thought he was serious about me.
i told him I didn’t want to speak to him anymore but he kept trying to get in contact with me but I felt I’d be stupid to forgive him.
This went on for about a month and he didn’t call me once to even talk about the issue, everything was via text and I felt he wasn’t serious because if you were you’d really try to fix things.
Anyway he got tired and texted me a few days ago that he doesn’t think this is going anywhere and it feels toxic.
Why do I feel bad like it’s my fault for not forgiving him when he’s the one that caused me to react like that. We finally ended things today because I don’t want to be an option to anyone or force anything.
But why do I feel like I ruined what we could have had?

Honestly it is your fault. You were only talking not dating so he has done nothing wrong. He was and is a single man and unless you have committed to each other after you met then he has done nothing wrong.

You didn't. He tried to go on TV and trade you in for someone else. Cobblers about PR; no-one is allowed to use such shows for business PR for themselves whilst they're on the show. why couldn't he just use LinkedIn like everyone else does?

Consider yourself well shot of him tbh.

Oooh is this MAFS UK?

Why do you feel entitled to dictate the actions of someone you aren't even dating!?

Ended what exactly, all you were doing was chatting for 4 long months still not dating and you were trying to control what he was doing. He then tried again for a month with you “ being unable to forgive him” he’s had a lucky escape if you want my honest opinion.

He's had a lucky escape.

You need to work on your jealous/controlling behaviour.

This is utterly bizarre and makes me really glad I’m not in the dating world. ‘Talking for 4 months’ is not the same as dating and you honestly sound like a nut job if you ‘can’t forgive’ someone you never dated for going on a dating show. Jeez.

This is so Daily Fail.

This screams of a newspaper headline.

If it's not, please work on yourself. You weren't even together ffs.

How can something be serious if you’re not even dating? How can something end if it hasn’t begun? It’s confusing.

You cut off whatever it was so it is your fault. But tbh it doesn’t sound like he was into you anyway so just leave it be.

You weren’t dating.

So a guy yo u weren't dating went on a dating show and you're mad at him.

Why weren't you dating?
I think it's fine to go on dates with other people if you're not dating someone.

Just draw a line and move on . Neither of you owe each other anything x

Are you for real?

I bet it was naked attraction

You weren’t even dating ! And even then there’s dating and exclusively dating
He wanted to go on a dating show, whatever that’s his issue, there’s nothing you had to “forgive him for”
and he still made an effort
you’re just not compatible- end of

You told him you didn't want to speak to him anymore. Then complain about him texting, rather than speaking to you.

He's right, dragging it out is toxic.

yes your toxic

i told him I didn’t want to speak to him anymore but he kept trying to get in contact with me but I felt I’d be stupid to forgive him.
This went on for about a month and he didn’t call me once to even talk about the issue, everything was via text and I felt he wasn’t serious because if you were you’d really try to fix things.
Anyway he got tired and texted me a few days ago that he doesn’t think this is going anywhere and it feels toxic.

I am a bit confused about this bit - were you replying to him when he was texting?

Regardless, it sounds like you were seeing each other for 4 months but not exclusive? If so I guess he is technically free to do what he wants but I would be annoyed too tbh.

Also I would guess he had applied for the show even before you had started seeing each other and must have known about it the whole time?!

If you don’t want anything to do with him, that’s fine imo. Things end for a lot of reasons.

Why were you talking for 4 months and not dating? Did you actually meet in person?

Why did you let the conversation after the programme drag out instead of saying 'my mind is made up and I don't want to stay in contact any longer. Goodbye.'?

Unless I've totally misunderstood I don't think there was really anything to ruin.

He has a point…

He surely applied before you were ‘talking’ and you were just that, talking. Whatever his intentions using the show, why would he step back from it when not in a relationship?

Eh??

What a daft story.