What nice things does your partner do for you?

[Reyshimushroom]

I’m starting to feel unappreciated in my relationship.

it’s been 6 months and already I just don’t feel like doing nice things for him because I know I’m not going to get it back.

he’s never bought me a meal (I have for him, and I earn less)

he doesn’t support me emotionally (if I tell him I’m lost with my career, he will say ‘same’ and that’s it)

when I cook for us (whenever he’s around) I pay for the food

ive bought him gifts and nothing has been returned

if there’s something he wants to do, I will happily go along, just to spend time with him and see him happy. I have asked to go for walks in nature and he has said he ‘doesn’t like walking’ and ‘doesn’t have the money’ (walks don’t cost money)

there is just no romance, i want to hear what thoughtful things your partner does for you that makes you feel special

The hills --->

He sounds like a user, my DH makes me coffee every day. He took me to Cornwall for a week after his mother died as I'd been helping care for her, and him after a heart op.
he still tells me he loves me, infrequently, but still does after nearly 35 years of marriage.

one year we went to rugby on my birthday and he made smoked salmon and cream cheese sandwiches and a bottle of my favourite wine for breakfast.

Eh?

What my DP does is completely irrelevant. What IS relevant is why on earth you are with this dreadful man?

Is this for real??

6 months? Bin! Today!!!!!!!

You'll nnever find the man you want if you stick with this useless lump.

Pretty much all the stuff you say yours doesn’t do. And that’s the bare minimum tbh, that’s not even nice things, that’s just pulling his weight financially and not being a selfish prick.

A good partner should add to your life not just take take take. Dump and run x

Yeah, if he’s not doing ‘nice things’ in the first 6 months, he’s just not going to. He sounds like a self centred tight arse tbh. Move on.

The really important relationship behaviours don’t need to cost money - Listening (not just hearing), thinking about each others feelings, proactively supporting, checking in, small acts of kindness each day, notes in the lunchbox, equal input into day to day tasks, jumping in to help if the other is struggling.

Phrases you want to hear include:
’Let me do that’
‘Its your turn to pick the film’
’What do you want for tea, I’ll make it’
’How are you feeling today’
’Good luck with that meeting today’
’You sit down, I’m bringing you a cold glass of rosé’
’I love the way you…’
’Thank you’

This is supposed to be the honeymoon period and he is behaving like this.
You sound lovely
Get rid of him today

I don’t how how a load of strangers telling you about wonderful partners is useful here.

Your partner sounds absolutely awful. You don’t need any comparisons to work that out.

People are usually on their best behaviour in a new relationship.

If this is his best..... then god help the worst.

Time to throw this one back in the pond and fish again.

At 6 months in he should at least be pretending to be nice! I’d throw this one back, if he can’t be bothered at this point, there’s no way things are going to improve. thank him for showing you who he is so you can move on.

Agree with the above - hearing about the nice things my DH has done / does do for me won't help you, you already know this behaviour is unacceptable. Throw this one back OP, its still early days.

He has very little interest in you and you have nothing in common. Over time the resentment will only get deeper.

Bin him and find someone who is emotionally invested in you, wants to have fun and has a lot of things in common with you.

Thank you everyone for responding, it means the world

At only six months in, your boyfriend should still be making a big effort. I'd throw this one back, it won't improve.

OP, what are you getting out of this relationship? Genuine question.

@LadyH846 im not sure anymore.. at first I was just relieved he isn’t abusive (my last bf was abusive) but as time is passing I just feel like not a single need is being met.

im scared of leaving him but I’m not sure why, I guess I really don’t wanna upset him

Six months is early probation period. He's not your partner, you're getting to know a stranger and figuring out whether he adds something good to your life.
He didn't pass. Move along!

Mine brings me tea in bed almost every morning (except when I get up first). He sends me flowers or buys me a bunch in the smkt when he's shopping.. Just now he peeled and sliced a mango and brought it to me as a little tasty treat. He irons my linen tops and blouses. He looks out for local events he thinks I'll enjoy, to surprise me.

it’s been 6 months and already I just don’t feel like doing nice things for him because I know I’m not going to get it back.

Then it's over, move on.

DH does none of the above because he thinks he'll get it back. Other than tea in bed if I'm up first, none of it is reciprocated because those are my quirks and pleasures not his. He does things that make me happy because he likes to make me happy.

Makes me tea and coffee. Cooks for me. Insists on giving me lifts to places - even to other towns if I am working away from home. Buys me flowers (not as often as he used to, but he still does sometimes.) Books tickets for us to go to theatre and gigs that he thinks I'd like, sometimes as a surprise.

I think I've seen another thread of yours, OP.

You really have to get your head around the idea that you can finish the 'relationship', such as it is, whenever you want, and what he does then is not your responsibility at all.

Save yourself.

My husband and I have been together 21 years (since we were 14) 6 months into the relationship we were 15 and even at 15 he’d cook for me, draw pictures of me, go for walks, write me love letters.
Sounds like you need to dump this bore of a person.

@Reyshimushroom that just sounds miserable. Dating is supposed to be fun, the time you get to know each other by doing different things, going to different places. Doesn’t need to be expensive, can be cost free. He sounds a miserable, mean person. You can walk away.

Yep this. Sack him off.

9 years together. Pays for every meal out. Listens interestedly to what I say and wants to chat about it. Willingly takes over all dog-walking if I'm tired and don't want to do my share. Gets my drinks/chocolate if I'm too comfy on the couch. Knows me better than I know myself, so if I say I'm not hungry and don't want any takeout, he'll order some for me anyway in the knowledge that I'll have changed my mind by the time it arrives. Prioritises my happiness.

Yours does not sound very nice. It sounds like you give and give, and he feels entitled to take and take. It won't get better if he's like this 6 months in. You don't owe him a relationship.