What nice things does your partner do for you?

[Reyshimushroom]

I’m starting to feel unappreciated in my relationship.

it’s been 6 months and already I just don’t feel like doing nice things for him because I know I’m not going to get it back.

he’s never bought me a meal (I have for him, and I earn less)

he doesn’t support me emotionally (if I tell him I’m lost with my career, he will say ‘same’ and that’s it)

when I cook for us (whenever he’s around) I pay for the food

ive bought him gifts and nothing has been returned

if there’s something he wants to do, I will happily go along, just to spend time with him and see him happy. I have asked to go for walks in nature and he has said he ‘doesn’t like walking’ and ‘doesn’t have the money’ (walks don’t cost money)

there is just no romance, i want to hear what thoughtful things your partner does for you that makes you feel special

We go for walks with our dog who we adore . He gives me massages. He buys me treats each week . He cooks me dinner at least 3 times a week . He makes my favourite soft boiled eggs and soldiers and he makes extra effort to get them just right 🙂 . Most importantly he knows how to make me feel safe and secure .

Six months is your honeymoon period. If he can't meet your needs at this point things won't improve. And that is important - he needs to meet YOUR needs and not mine or any other internet strangers. What is it YOU expect? What are your minimum standards:

• Single and free to date you
• Pays his way
• Clean and fresh smelling
• On time
• Kind and affectionate
• Respectful in how he treats you
• Broadly aligned with your political / religious leanings
• Broadly aligned with your thoughts on future plans (i.e. more kids, retirement plans, co-habiting etc..)
• Sexually compatible

Those should be everyone's minimum requirements but you may have some of your own. I have a dog and he is a dealbreaker for example.

Have a think about what you think is the minimum you expect /deserve and if he isn't meeting your minimum in the honeymoon period then he needs to go. Find a better one!

I completely understand (I've been in a toxic & abusive relationship in the past, too) but 'not abusive' is such a low bar. You deserve someone who loves you and shows their love. Men who aren't abusive and actively show their love for you, those men do exist. I think you should aim higher. You deserve it OP.

Think you should find someone else. Sounds like he isn’t that motivated and it’s hard to change that.

Has he ever done anything for you! Even paid for a single meal.

Mine cooks a or buys meals - he did most of the buying at the beginning and now we split bills or take it in turns (usually with my permission). Nothing days are important and if someone suggests a walk then we make the effort I get out.

There is a bare minimum and if you are fed up already it sounds like you know what you do x

My H makes me tea every morning, (and several times through the day). He encourages me to do something relaxing when he know I’m tired/overworked/hormonal/stressed. He buys incredibly thoughtful gifts for birthdays and Christmas- the sort of thing you vaguely remember mentioning months before and he has listened and remembered. He’ll pick up some of my favourite treats sometimes if he’s in a shop. Will come and pick me up from a night out or drop me at the station if I’m going to London. Just lots of little thoughtful things that make my life easier and more pleasant. I hope he would say I do the same for him.

Bless you , did 25 year stint with a similar twat
get rid soon
very soon

6 months ought to be still well inside the honeymoon period - this is definitely one to bin.

If you're already scared of leaving him because you don't want to upset him, please just consider how much worse it will be in future, screw up your courage and get it done.

Things partner does: tea and cuddles most mornings, tea throughout the day when WFH, fills the car up when I have an early start next day, cooks for me sometimes, runs any little errands he knows needs doing just to make my life easier, picks up little treats from the shop that he knows I like, gives compliments, is interested and supportive about my life & work, comes to stuff I'm interested in even when he isn't, or is fine if I prefer to go alone, supports my friendships with others, male or female. Not really anything that costs much money, but he lets me know he cares & values me in plenty of other ways. And I do the same sorts of things for him.

There are nice men out there, and there are plenty of men where you'd be better off being single. Don't settle for one who doesn't make you feel good about yourself.

Today DH took my car keys, he drove back to me which takes one hour in total to drop them off.

Whilst at home, he cleaned the kitchen and living room. It was all a huge huge mess. He then went back to work.

I really appreciated that today. On a usual basis he does a lot of the cleaning I can't be bothered to do, makes me the best coffees, breakfasts, pays for everything.

I think you need to dump this guy. If it's 6 months in and he's like that then what on earth.

Gets up with the baby so I can have a lie in after bf all night.

Makes me coffee when I get up.

Brings me drinks and snacks throughout the day

Cooks me yummy food I'm craving

Will go to the shops to get me something

Buys me little gifts

Reads aloud to me when I'm stressed

Hugs me, holds my hand, tells me he loves me with genuine affection and adoration, multiple times a day

Will drop everything to comfort me if I'm upset

Orgasm at least once every time we have sex

Bigs me up to others, supports my ideas however he can.

Just loads!

Been together 9 years, married for 3 years.

Been with DH for 20 years and he still surprises me.

It's the little things, today he bought me a present of a posh donut for my mid morning coffee break and a cute new mug with cats on it that he spotted when he was in town this morning. Made my lunch, washed up then made dinner. That's just today.

Definitely bagged myself a good one there.

Don't settle for a bad one, you could be stuck with them for 50+ years.