Husbands frequently used emojis

[candycrush789]

Hi this is a bit of a wierd one but it’s been playing on my mind. We’ve just got our daughter her own number so she can call/text her dad at work sometimes without using my phone all the time. He was laying next to me and texting her telling her it was bedtime and he loves her etc. In his recent emojis there was a 💗now he hasn’t sent that to me and he hasn’t sent it to her as I’ve looked through her phone. Usually I wouldn’t worry but he has history of texting other woman and I’m 36 weeks pregnant so my insecurities are sky high right now. He sent me a list of his most frequently used emojis and there in order as in I’ve gone through our chat and can see the ones he has sent me. Am I massively overthinking or would any of you be worried? I have asked him and he’s said no he hasn’t been texting anyone etc but he isn’t going to admit it is he 🤦🏻‍♀️ I don’t know if I’m just massively over thinking or what! Sorry for this wierd long post!

I wouldn't worry. I'm always accidentally pressing random emojis, and when you type certain words random emoji suggestions appear

I’ve looked on my daughters phone and there’s two options, a smiley face where the most recent ones come up and I know this is accurate as I check her messages and then another where there all random, the one he has was all random but the pink heart was first. He messaged our daughter before bed ‘I love you loads and loads goodnight’ and the pink heart comes up then but he didn’t actually send it in the chat iyswim.

He has a history of texting other women? That’s your issue, not some emoji.

You don’t trust, him and rightly so. It wouldn’t occur to me to notice this sort of thing, or if I did, to be worried a kid.

But that’s because DH is trustworthy.

You can’t live like this.

Ahhh I know 😕 the trust come back, I don’t know if it’s because I’m heavily pregnant and feel very vulnerable I don’t know. I don’t want to pry too much as I’ve asked him loads of times and he’s said if I ask again it’s gonna annoy him as he shouldn’t have to awnser so many times! 😞 I get this. I’m hoping I’m just overthinking but right now I’m too pregnant to even comprehend that.

Yep i agree with this.

No wonder you are feeling paranoid and anxious. I couldnt live like this you are basically just waiting for him to cheat again. Because unless it was highly exceptional circumstances early in your relationship then he very likely will do it again.

Personally. Focus on your pregnancy and existing daughter. Get on double contraception asap. once your 2nd is bigger start thinking about how you can separate

When you say he has a history? How long ago? What work did he did to support you to love past it? Did you do any work together? Or just sweep it under the carpet?

This is our 3rd 🤦🏻‍♀️ we have a 7yo daughter and 5 yo son. We’ve been together 10 years and he’s done it more than once yes silly I know guess it’s my own fault for staying with him! I’ve already told him if there’s a next time it will be the last time cos I can’t keep doing this. If there’s ever anyone else again they can have him. He knows im being real aswell so not sure what he expects!

Well I last found out he was texting someone behind my back last April, and that got spoke (lied about) but I have no solid evidence other than texts, unless I expose myself fully then I can’t say much more, other than he said it wasn’t him it was for someone else 🤨 and then in January his friend was (is) in a unhappy relationship and he befriended some girl at work (they work together) and this other girl had a friend, he was supposed to be going out with them like his friend this girl and her friend and him and I said absolutely not because to me it sounds dodgy like a double date. He said he thought there was more people going so that’s fine as he wouldn’t go out with just them anyway. Somehow this girl got his number and they got added into a work chat, I asked how she got it and he didn’t know swears blind he didn’t give it to her 🤨 I think that’s all finished now as one of the girls have left and his mate seems to be sorting his relationship out but the point is, they still have eachothers numbers. I must add ALL the girls he’s spoke to have been significantly younger. We’re in our 30s and these girls are 19,20,21 etc you get the point 🤦🏻‍♀️

And to move past it I dunno he just says I’ve changed I’ve changed. He gets a lot of female attention and he thrives of it, before I met him he was such a player and I’m the 1st person he’s been with so that could be why. He always swears blind he can’t help but be a flirt but there a difference in my eyes. I can’t bring it up cos I’ve told him we’re over it but tbe problem is, a problem in the past is becoming a problem in the present 🤦🏻‍♀️

So what if he is cheating again? What are your options? Can you leave or chuck him out?

I hope you have a good family behind you as you're going to need them.

Guys like him don't change. He will cheat again, which is why you're looking for the evidence.

Don’t be afraid to let him go at any stage that you feel comfortable, if you feel that you need to end this silly game that he thinks you should play.

He’s sounding like a very boring stereotype of a partner who had no intention to be honest and to be monogamous, and is now blaming you for daring to doubt his integrity .

Right so to recap - You are about to have your third child with a guy who 12 months ago was going on dates and sexy texting teenagers....

This man isnt going to change. You are wasting your time and he knows your ultimatums are bullshit because you stay everytime and all he has to do is make a sad face say he has changed then "get annoyed" if you mention it again.

If you want to keep sleeping with him use condoms and another form of contraception to avoid adding a fourth child to the mix.

I remember being at a baby group and two women telling me and a friend how LUCKY we were that our husbands changed nappies did night wakings "let us" go out without the kids etc.

Afterwards my friend was like "you know we really are lucky... their husbands sound terrible" and i said squarely "luck has fuck all to do with it. We actively chose men we knew would be good husbands and fathers. We also chose not to breed with arseholes" sorry to be blunt but he was like this before you had children, after your first AND after your second 🤷🏻‍♀️🤦‍♀️

And frequently used emojis are correct. He is sending love hearts to someone. Im sure he will explain it was his mum or sister and you should stop talking about it now because he is annoyed

All this ⬆️

As far as he knows. You won’t leave him. You will go along with whatever lie he tells you. Just like last time.

Even if you believed the story, he was helping his friend cheat. It’s clear that your husband thinks cheating is ok.

The more kids you have the less likely you are to leave.

On balance of probability, he is likely to be doing it again.

Yeah, of course he’s using it in messages. He’s got history. And quite apart from the sleaziness of a 30-something man texting teenagers, he’s never going to stop because you let him off every time. After this baby is born, please start working on an exit plan. You deserve so much better than him.

Hm he might be cheating given the history but if it came up with typing then that's not evidence my iPhone suggests things it thinks are helpful based on typing

I've attached a screenshot of what it suggested just from me typing love!

Don't think I've ever used the two on the right

@onthefence23 - the emojis that come up when you type 'love' or 'happy birthday' are generic ones. The ones in your emoji list when you're in WhatsApp or whatever and your press the emoji button - THEY are your most recent emojis.

Funnily enough I had a small panic about exactly this emoji. However, DP was on FaceTime (I think?) where a few popular emojis come pre-programmed as standard.

Sorry posted too soon. I checked my FaceTime and saw exactly the same emojis (I also don't use the pink hearts). I am a bit paranoid about cheating thanks to a previous relationship, but also don't want to constantly seek reassurance from DP, so this was an easy way to put my mind to rest.

Is there any chance it's FaceTime or another app? Are you certain that it was the frequently used on iPhone?

Out of curiosity, I just looked at my emojis on WhatsApp. I’m not sure I have a ‘recently used’ but I do have ‘frequently used’ and in that list are 👻🤤🥜 amongst others. I have no recollection of ever using these!

That said, your husband sounds a problem and like if he isn’t cheating now he likely will again. If you can’t trust him, you can leave anyway, you don’t need proof or justification to end a relationship if you want to.

Soo I’ve checked my daughters phone and she’s got emojis on hers 🤦🏻‍♀️ it’s not iPhone it’s android, they both are. I’ve attached a picture. If you click on my daughters phone, the smiley face next to the message button…it comes up with the ones she’s actually used. So maybe this is why? She’s never ever ever used the tea emoji and I know this because I check her phone. The purple one he sent to our daughter that’s what made me question the pink one. I typed in ‘I love you loads’ on android and that exact heart come up 🤷🏻‍♀️

if he was to do it again, he knows I am done and I’ve put everything into place just Incase that happens and he is aware. We’ve spoke about it before actually and I did mention it whether he believes me or not I don’t know but I will leave and I will never look back.

@Totalwasteofpaper is bang on the money.

Post this baby, please sort your contraception out.

This is what I mean. So the ones that come under the clock are different to these ones 🤷🏻‍♀️ these ones I know she’s used, which is why I’m confused as to why they are different and weather he actually used the heart emoji or not.

I think you should stop worrying about the emojis. I also think you should either just accept that’s how he is and turn a blind eye, or leave.