Backstory: I have been with my dp for 8 years. We have triplets together and he works full-time with his own business whereas I have been a stay at home mom this entire time as I didn’t have any help and couldn’t afford the childcare costs. I raised them basically completely myself and they’re now school age and in full time.
I have been out of work for 5 years and I’m now looking to get back to work, which is also slightly tough finding something that works around school hours/mom life too. Although im extremely greatful to have been with my children this entire time, it has been very challenging being so alone all the time. I didn’t get any time to myself at all until recently, I don’t have anyone to talk to etc.
my dp has been on my case for a while now telling me I need to reskill and do a course that will get me a good job. I have just started a tech-based course this past week which is only a few months long and will give me the certifications I need to go into tech hopefully.
a few days ago we had an argument as he wasn’t happy about me doing the course. I couldn’t understand why as I was doing exactly what he suggested and in the sector he advised me to go into. He proceeded to tell me I’m ‘just trying to look busy and act professional’, that I should be focusing on something else, that knowing me I won’t even use these skills etc . he made such a huge fuss about it that I actually didn’t attend the course the past few days and have mentally given up from his negative comments as they have put me off.
this evening he has come back home and I feel frustrated as I have been inside all day long. I live in a small place and there’s only so much cleaning, cooking etc I can do. The kids were not well so we have been up since 4am and I’m just constantly by myself. I tried to communicate with him and tell him how I feel. That I’d just like to be able to go outside and get fresh air for 5 minutes, or have some sort of adult human interaction.
he just can’t seem to understand how I feel (probably as he lives a different lifestyle. He gets to go work with a career he enjoys, colleagues, clients and friends to see and talk to everyday, a car he can drive in and do anything he wants even just going to the shop etc). I can’t even pop to the shop by myself unless I wait until school time.
he started to tell me how I’m prioritising the wrong thing, I should ‘reskill and do a course’. I instantly got annoyed at this point as I was confused considering I just started a course and he had a problem with it? I’ve just given up on a course because of his negativity and now he’s telling me to do a course again?? Also, I don’t think it’s unfair or too much for me to ask for the bare necessities such as stepping outside for 5 minutes of fresh air.
at this stage I feel like he doesn’t truly care for me. I want my partner to come home occasionally and say ‘go take a 5 minute walk outside and clear your head’. That would mean so much to me and help me so much. I’m not asking to go out for hours! I just don’t know how to communicate my feelings with him anymore and it upsets me that he doesn’t try to help understand my feelings or help support me mentally