Afraid to visit my moms because of accusations.

[Whyme82]

I haven’t been down my moms house where my sisters live since the 9th of may which was my sisters birthday. So it’s been over a month, I get anxious going as my partner accuses me of being up to stuff or seeing/speaking to guys or whatever when I’m there so I don’t go anymore, now I make them come here but I feel so sad because my son doesn’t get to go to his nans. I only used to go once a week to see my mom now I literally don’t go at all and tomorrow is my moms birthday and we are doing a meal on Sunday so I’m debating whether to go tomorrow or not because tomorrow it would be me going with my little one and I’m afraid of what he will say at the end of the day when I’m back. Not only that back in January when we broke up I was at my moms with my son less than a week and we got back together. I fell pregnant and he didn’t believe it was his because I was at my moms and he thought I had seen someone but it was his and so he wanted an abortion so we did but I resent him and myself for it because I knew I haven’t and hadn’t done anything not even spoken to anyone. I also always feel sad that I get accused of cheating when I literally haven’t even spoken to anyone let alone do anything.

You are in an abusive relationship, this is terrible.
You do know this is totally wrong don't you?

You need to get rid of your partner as he is not good for you or your mental health. Why on earth did you get back together with him? What are his redeeming qualities?

He doesn’t think your cheating , he just knows if he keeps accusing you it will keep you on the back foot and you will try really really hard to prove to him that you’re not. It’s just good old fashioned manipulation, and it only works if you let it.

Have you read what you’ve just written OP?
He is a controlling abusive narcissist and this is never going to change. He’s trying to alienate from your family, destroy your confidence and completely rule your life.
Gets your bags packed and GTFO off there!!
The only silver lining about this awful situation is that you never had the second child with him, heart breaking though that is about the baby.
Speak to a women’s refuge and get help immediately. Sending strength and hugs to you.

I’ve literally never ever ever seen a man ever since I met him. We’ve had times where I’ve spoken to someone (not sexually, cheating etc) just general convo and he got annoyed so it’s never happened. Even then I wasn’t even flirting or cheating etc. last year he got caught meeting up with his friends and girls and he went on a boys trip and they met a girl there he didn’t tell me this and I saw photos and he was taking a walk with her on the beach and had photos of roses etc and stuff with her but said she followed him as she didn’t want to go to the club with his friends but he said nothing happen with her and there’s been other girls and other occasions but he no longer goes out anymore but I just hate feeling anxious like me going to my moms will make him say something or will cause an atmosphere just anything. I don’t go anywhere I just go to the shops which is down the road and sometimes take my baby to the park. Even the once when I took my little boy to the park I got accused and he said I changed into sexy underwear and went out and then got changed back in to comfortable ones when I came back. I’m scared to do anything. He sleeps majority of the day I want to take my son to soft play and stuff but I don’t because when he wakes up he might be suspicious I live such a anxious life but he thinks we are in a good place he said you’re a good girl now that’s why you don’t go anywhere but I didn’t even used to go anywhere except my moms once a week anyway

He harassed you into having an abortion, he sleeps all day, makes endless untrue accusations against you, and stops you seeing friends or family. OP, surely you can see he is a nightmare. Run for your life.

Get rid of this prick op.

This is never going to get better. He will never change. If you don't leave you're asking to have a miserable life. For the love of God, leave.

Go to your moms. Permanently. He is sucking the life out of you and it will only get worse.

Sorry OP but this guy does not love or respect you. He is trying to isolate you. Before you know it you won’t be allowed anywhere ever. Don’t kid yourself that his hood dude outweighs the bad. It doesn’t. Nobody should have to live like this.

look at woman’s aid website or phone them and tell them about this and they will confirm what we are all saying - you are doing nothing wrong wanting to visit friends or family, HE is the problem and he’ll only get worse.

You should leave him. He’s a prick. You WILL find someone better by the way, I did. You are NOT better with the devil you know. Leave.

Typo sorry. Meant Good outweighs bad. Not hood dude!

He is abusive and controlling. It will never get better. He will isolate you from your family and friends so he can up his abuse without an audience. All the time he will tell you this is all your fault. It is not your fault. Leave leave leave. Do it today.

Go to your mum’s today and never go back. Your are being controlled by an abusive man.

He’s controlling you. His intention is to separate you from your family, then friends, so he can control you more.
Ask yourself Do I want to live like this for another 5 years? Do I want my DS growing up thinking this is how he should treat women?
If the+answer is no to either get rid of him now.

Honey, cheaters often project their own guilt onto their partners.

He's also abusive.

This means because he's always cheating on you he thinks you're doing the same. And he's punishing you and controlling you because of who and what HE is.

He won't change, you won't persuade him and he'll never trust you. And you shouldn't trust him.

That said please please try and escape. Leave him and enjoy life.

OP this is awful and won’t get better. What is your housing situation?

@Whyme82 - you are in a very abusive relationship. You are being abused. Decent boyfriends don’t behave this way. This man is bad for you and dangerous. Is your son his? If not, that’s great because you can walk away without needing to maintain any connection at all with this man. How can we help you get away from this man?

Go to your mum's and stay there. He's an abusive deadbeat

You are wasting your life with this nasty, abusive shit, do you understand that. Is your son his?

Yes we share our son and the apartment we live in is under my name so I can’t just leave as I’m in a contract. I feel so low when I think about it most the time I push it to the back of my head but times when I’m sat alone or watch or see something as such if triggers me

If it is your name only you can change the locks and keep him out. If he makes a fuss then you call the police. You and your son don’t need to live like this.

Please contact Women’s Aid for some advice and support

Can you afford to keep the apartment on your own?

I know it’s all very well us all saying to leave him but he has you worn down so much you can’t see a way out. But there is one. I have just read a post on FB this morning from a friend in the US. Four years ago her marriage broke down and her ex husband moved to the other side of the country leaving her with four teenagers. No family around as my friend is from the UK. She has come out the other side stronger and happier and as she says back to being “HER”. Her children now see her. The real her. A strong woman who gets on with things. It’s terrifying at first but you can do that too. You just need a plan.

You have to find a way to leave him. If you can't do it now then you need to plan to do it. Don't have any more kids with him.

He is abusive.

Contact the domestic abuse helpline they help you with your options you don't need to stay with him because of your tenancy.