End of friendships, can I just dump it all here please?

[Tootsietwo]

I just need somewhere to leave this.

I feel utterly heartbroken. My dear friend of 30 years doesn't want to be in my life anymore. Nothings happened, she feels its drifted. Not for me it hadn't.

I feel sick about it. I cant imagine the rest of my life without her in it. Its so sad and feels so unnecessarily cruel.

I know there's nothing I can do. I just need to let it go and move on. Focus on the people who love me.

Wow though it hurts.

Important to have a few friends. Find people unreliable past while or they dont commit. I just gave up on it. I do things myself now

EmmaEmerald - thank you.

OP, those who brought up therapy/closure might be on the ball - after all there is correlation between therapy and struggling with emotion regulation and drastic 'closure' actions taken.

I have been a mutual to those who cut each other off.

• one had case built up in head against another for long time and lack of communication didn't help before dramatic social media blocking. Later she's been in therapy, came out with female autism and writes blogs about autism-induced relationship difficulties without reaching out to those she fell out with.

• friend struggling with parent's illness frustrated by other friend not being emotionally available during lockdown. The other friend was overwhelmed by other obligations and wasn't as regular and present with Whatsapp and kept apologising about it, but still called for meeting up. However friend 1 is known to be very sensitive/depressive came in with gun blazing "right, maybe we should take break from friendship, seems like we are not what we need from each other". Fairly patchable, friend 2 started making effort but lost respect for friend 1 and interest in friendship along the line.

• someone very needy and has some narcissistic traits vs financially charitable friend. Was never going to end well.

• betrayal of trust

Other friendship had patches when expectations from each other was very uneven but with patience and understanding mended. The closer friendship is the obviously harder it is when expectations shift.

Hope you have your resolution and peace, OP.

I've been ghosted by my very close friend of over 30 years. Last message we exchanged was on Xmas Day 2021 and since then my messages, calls, cards, gifts have been ignored. I'm so so sad and confused as nothing had happened as far as I know, everything was normal and then he was just gone. I still message him and will send him a bday present next month, I'll always be gutted he's not in my life anymore.

I'm so sorry for you OP, it's incredibly hurtful x

Hoolihan - oof that's very big ghosting. Do you know what is going on in his life? That does sound cruel not to give any indication at all as to what happened or he is too embarassed to admit inappropriate feelings.

"OP, those who brought up therapy/closure might be on the ball - after all there is correlation between therapy and struggling with emotion regulation and drastic 'closure' actions taken."

this is really interesting
many of the friends who vanished were having therapy.