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Original poster

I think DH took my key bizarre behaviour.

57 replies

Oreoo · 09/06/2023 09:37

So my front door key went missing off my key ring , it's really tight so can't have fallen off. Someone would have had to taken it off. I know it was there yesterday morning as I entered the house after a night shift I've come home early. I've asked DH and DD as I had to enter through the back door they both denied it. I then said to DH we will have to change the locks, he then says it will cost a lot of money knowing things have been tight for me.

DH then went downstairs messing with the front door, he then came back up with a new key. Somehow he had a spare barrel lock ready to go and to install. He's never mentioned he's had anything like this.
It's so weird, I can't wrap my head around why he might have taken the key but I think it's him. My keys are in my pocket all night shift. Can any MNers offer an explanation ?

OP posts:
recoveryvehicle · 09/06/2023 09:43

Keys are taken off rings for the following reasons:

Going running or whatever and want the key to fit into a small pocket.
Taking the key to have a copy made.
Lending to someone.

Can't think of any other reason why the key would be removed from the ring.
Was it the only key on the ring?

StarGuide · 09/06/2023 09:44

Are you insinuating that he orchestrated this in order to change the locks but make it sound like it was your idea or because of you?

If he was in trouble with someone, they would be the type of kick the door in or break in.

Why just change the lock on the front door and not the back if he compromised the safety of the house? If your daughter and husband have their original keys already then they haven't lost it and trying to blame it on you.

He had a lock replacement already, if he wanted to change the keys he would have done it anyway.

The most likely answer is the simplest, you lost the key somehow. I don't know everything my DH has, he often surprises me with spares or replacements that he picked up and put away or borrowed from someone.

I think it's strange you're worrying about this.

StarGuide · 09/06/2023 09:47

What is the timeline?

8/June AM you enter with your key
Then you sometime later need to enter through the back door. So your front door key was lost in the house or did you go out with it?

I'm now also strangely invested in this

pizzaHeart · 09/06/2023 09:49

Could it be that he lost his key, took yours to go out and then bought a replacement lock ?
Ask him and DD for their old keys.

SummerInSun · 09/06/2023 09:51

My theory is he has lost his key, but is too embarrassed to admit it, and took yours either hoping to get a copy made to replace his own before you'd notice or - more likely since he had a spare lock ready - to make it seem like it's because of your carelessness and not his that the lock has to be changed.

Jellycats4life · 09/06/2023 09:51

Are you insinuating that he orchestrated this in order to change the locks but make it sound like it was your idea or because of you?

That certainly seems to be the only plausible explanation.

Aquamarine1029 · 09/06/2023 09:51

Why would he have mentioned how much it would cost to change the lock if he knew he had a spare barrel lock to use? Very, very strange.

Whataretheodds · 09/06/2023 09:54

he then says it will cost a lot of money knowing things have been tight for me.

Why 'tight for me' not 'tight for us'. Do you not share finances?

SeeingSpots · 09/06/2023 09:55

I agree with others its likely he lost his key but that doesn't explain why he had a new barrel lock ready to go or why he didn't just ask you to borrow yours and get a copy cut.

JauntyJinty · 09/06/2023 09:58

Does he have form for losing things?

The only thing that make sense to me is that he lost his key, but for some reason didn't want to own up so went through all af the above to push the blame onto you - but gave the game away by buying the new lock before framing you!

Has he asked you to pay him back for the lock?

MagicBullet · 09/06/2023 09:58

Somehow he had a spare barrel lock ready to go and to install. He's never mentioned he's had anything like this.

Thats weird.
Even more so when it’s after he mentioned it would be expensive FOR YOU.

It very much sounds like he knew about your key ‘disappearing’ and planned to replace the lock before you even knew about it.

80s · 09/06/2023 10:01

SummerInSun · 09/06/2023 09:51

My theory is he has lost his key, but is too embarrassed to admit it, and took yours either hoping to get a copy made to replace his own before you'd notice or - more likely since he had a spare lock ready - to make it seem like it's because of your carelessness and not his that the lock has to be changed.

this...

MagicBullet · 09/06/2023 10:02

A very wild explanation (and I do think it’s wild)
He lent the house key to someone and he hasn’t got that key back.
Out of safety, he wanted to replace the lock but Wo you knowing he had lent that key. Hence the whole palava about you ‘loosing’ your key and how great he is to 1- have a spare lock at hand and 2- to save you the effort when you are the one causing all the disruption.

DustyLee123 · 09/06/2023 10:05

Check his/DD old front door key and see if it’s yours. He might have lent his to someone and not got it back.
Prior to this incident, did you trust him ? Anything else happened ?

Aquamarine1029 · 09/06/2023 10:07

Does your husband have form for gaslighting you?

recoveryvehicle · 09/06/2023 10:08

MagicBullet · 09/06/2023 10:02

A very wild explanation (and I do think it’s wild)
He lent the house key to someone and he hasn’t got that key back.
Out of safety, he wanted to replace the lock but Wo you knowing he had lent that key. Hence the whole palava about you ‘loosing’ your key and how great he is to 1- have a spare lock at hand and 2- to save you the effort when you are the one causing all the disruption.

Wild but plausible.

Original poster
Oreoo · 09/06/2023 10:08

Aquamarine1029 · 09/06/2023 10:07

Does your husband have form for gaslighting you?

Not really no. It's really strange.

OP posts:
MadamWhiteleigh · 09/06/2023 10:08

I agree that he has lost or lent his key and the rest is covering that up.

Would you be cross with him for losing a key? Does he have a habit of losing things?

Divebar2021 · 09/06/2023 10:09

Why would he go through the palaver of talking about the cost of replacing the lock if he already had a replacement? . My DH would just say “ oh ok well never mind I’ve got a replacement barrel it’s easy to replace “ and I wouldn’t be surprised because he has loads of useful stuff knocking about. Doesn’t make much sense to me.

twoandcooplease · 09/06/2023 10:09

It wouldn't cost much, only a replacement key cut from his copy rather than a full change of lock
Or does he not have his own key?

recoveryvehicle · 09/06/2023 10:10

OP wouldn't necessarily know if he's gaslighted her in the past though, would she?

Original poster
Oreoo · 09/06/2023 10:11

MadamWhiteleigh · 09/06/2023 10:08

I agree that he has lost or lent his key and the rest is covering that up.

Would you be cross with him for losing a key? Does he have a habit of losing things?

No I wouldn't be cross at him losing his key. No he doesn't lose things.

OP posts:
AHugeTinyMistake · 09/06/2023 10:11

That really weird behaviour

It does seem likely he lost his key somewhere and tried to make it seem like it was you

Why though? Really odd. If I'd lost my front door key by some circumstances I didn't want to own up to, I would pretend I'd lost the whole bunch. Much easier surely than trying to blame your wife.

recoveryvehicle · 09/06/2023 10:11

Secret cleaner?

ThursdayFreedom · 09/06/2023 10:13

How utterly bizarre