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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I need tech help. Does this look genuine?

55 replies

Turningintoaspy · 06/06/2023 21:33

Hi all,

So I'm in a panic and will try to keep it brief. Don't trust partner. He stayed at his dad's house a few week ago as he said he was getting bloods done that day.
Asked him today about his blood results (around 3/4 weeks after he had them taken) and he seemed confused and I had to remind him he had blood tests.
Anyway he sent the below screenshot proving the doctors have contacted him.

What I need to know is, does it look genuine? Could it be Photoshopped? Any clues?
My best friend has just said that the "contact icon" that is purple, should not have colour because the only time you get colour is if the number is saved in your contacts. The doctors number can't be saved as it's a number and not a name.
It's true for both of us that only saved contacts have colour for the contact icon.
Does anyone else get colour if the number isn't saved?

Before anyone says anything, I know if I need to turn this level detective then it's basically over but I need proof.

I need tech help. Does this look genuine?
OP posts:
teadi · 06/06/2023 22:13

It looks to me like the text asking him to book a blood test is from 10 August?!
Is that what it says under the red scribble at the top?

zerored · 06/06/2023 22:25

Just checked and my texts from the GP/NHS services are in purple too and I don't have them saved as a contact.

Doggymummar · 06/06/2023 22:31

Yep definitely looks like August to me

coxesorangepippin · 06/06/2023 22:32

They've missed a full stop on one of those text

Seems suss to me

RisingSunn · 06/06/2023 22:42

The message is dated 10th August…

monsteramunch · 06/06/2023 22:50

RisingSunn · 06/06/2023 22:42

The message is dated 10th August…

That's the top one, I think the most recent says 'Tuesday'.

TheCatterall · 06/06/2023 23:10

@Turningintoaspy that looks standard for an android phone. My chap has one. Im
on iPhone and my messages come up differently.

The drs messages, spellings etc. all
look pretty standard. It’s generally reception team that have set them up and use the system and honestly I don’t think they give two hoots about capitals, punctuation etc.

The screenshot you showed - that’s what my GP messages often look like.

And if someone asked my what my bloods came back as 4 weeks after the event I would probably have forgotten at first as well as I have an awful memory without more prompts.

And really - is he a photoshop wizard? I can use it. I love tech. But to create that. To know what kinda messages a gps creates. To go to all that hassle… nah. Hed have been more likely to say he deleted the messages if he was lying - than faff about researching and creating fake ones. 🙄

either end it, get therapy/counselling or move on. But this level of distrust does not foretell a happy future or environment for you or children.

Tinkerbyebye · 06/06/2023 23:14

get him to load the nhs app. Then edit a few days. All data from his surgery including blood test results should load. Then he can show you

Solar86 · 06/06/2023 23:38

Looks genuine to me - it's all very well aligned etc.

Whatevergetsyouthroughthenight · 06/06/2023 23:49

Mine all come from NHS-NoReply, there’s no mobile number.

The wording is unprofessional.

Why is the date obscured? Did you do that? It looks like August so there’s something fishy there.

Izzy54321 · 07/06/2023 00:08

Can I just add he could of had the blood tests at any time to receive a text about getting the results no where in the text does it say the blood was taken on the day he said it was. Just my thought on the matter.

AngelAurora · 07/06/2023 01:13

So you do not trust him, why are you with him?

ninjasnap · 07/06/2023 13:56

As this appears to be the abusive, cheating, part-time doctor again I don't think there's any point you doing this level of "detective work" aka pointless obsessing for "proof". You're just wasting valuable time and effort you could be using arranging to get your abused children out of their toxic home.

But much better to spend hours posting on here over pointless details right?!

You need help to have your children removed from you both, not Agatha Christie style sleuthing over blood tests, FFS.

monsteramunch · 07/06/2023 14:24

ninjasnap · 07/06/2023 13:56

As this appears to be the abusive, cheating, part-time doctor again I don't think there's any point you doing this level of "detective work" aka pointless obsessing for "proof". You're just wasting valuable time and effort you could be using arranging to get your abused children out of their toxic home.

But much better to spend hours posting on here over pointless details right?!

You need help to have your children removed from you both, not Agatha Christie style sleuthing over blood tests, FFS.

Wait how can you tell if it's that poster yet again?

ninjasnap · 07/06/2023 14:30

She has an instantly recognisable style of writing/level of detail/obsession. It's sad that she is so easy to spot, but even sadder that her kids are still trapped in this nightmare.

Who cares if he lies about blood tests or cheated on you again, he emotionally abuses your sons?!!

Never has a poster needed shaking from her self-obsession and vacuous naval-gazing more. Sorry if that sounds harsh, but she is abusing her children.

Original poster
Turningintoaspy · 07/06/2023 14:33

Hello, sorry it took so long to come back to the thread, busy day at work.
So yes, the first date is Aug but I presume this is for a previous blood test he had.
I shall assume this time it is genuine and I do realise the relationship is a disaster. I'm sorting some financials and then I plan to leave.
He sent me that screenshot along with the reply below ...
Apparently the reason I'm insecure in the relationship is because of my father (who he never met) and nothing to do with him having cheated on me.
No, he's not a doctor and I don't know who the part time doctor is sorry? We also only have 1 child.

I need tech help. Does this look genuine?
OP posts:
Original poster
Turningintoaspy · 07/06/2023 14:34

Just seen the further reply, I'm not abusing my sons. I don't have more than 2 sons?

OP posts:
ninjasnap · 07/06/2023 14:39

Turningintoaspy · 07/06/2023 14:33

Hello, sorry it took so long to come back to the thread, busy day at work.
So yes, the first date is Aug but I presume this is for a previous blood test he had.
I shall assume this time it is genuine and I do realise the relationship is a disaster. I'm sorting some financials and then I plan to leave.
He sent me that screenshot along with the reply below ...
Apparently the reason I'm insecure in the relationship is because of my father (who he never met) and nothing to do with him having cheated on me.
No, he's not a doctor and I don't know who the part time doctor is sorry? We also only have 1 child.

You can deny you're not the same poster if you like, its your life not mine.

The details are always the same though. The going back to his dad's house, the previous cheating, the "i'll try and keep this brief" then you never do. And you may only have one child together, but your eldest child from a previous relationship is the real victim in all of this.

Fine though, if it's not you I apologise. I'd put good money that it is though!

TheCatterall · 07/06/2023 14:39

@ninjasnap shes not mentioned him being a dr or anything like that. If you have concerns report them to Mumsnet.

Original poster
Turningintoaspy · 07/06/2023 14:42

I can't really say much more, I have one child with my partner. I've seen many people start posts with "I'll try and keep it brief". I can't really prove anything to you I'm afraid, so it's your choice not to believe me.

OP posts:
YoSof · 07/06/2023 14:44

The writing style is very similar, and the posts do get reported often.

If you are a different poster, you need to leave. There is no trust and you will drive yourself mad trying to analyse every text.

Watchkeys · 07/06/2023 14:44

If the messages are genuine, do you then trust your partner?

If not, forget the messages: your question is 'Why am I in a relationship with someone I don't trust?'

Original poster
Turningintoaspy · 07/06/2023 14:46

Watchkeys no I don't trust my partner. However, he is a first class narcissist and gasslighter. So I would like evidence of his cheating as he will attempt to ruin me if we spilt up in an attempt to protect his ego

OP posts:
Watchkeys · 07/06/2023 14:49

Narcissists don't care about your 'truth' or what you can 'prove'. If you could get him to listen to sense and to understand how you feel about things, you probably wouldn't be leaving him.

If he's going to attempt to ruin you, he's going to attempt to ruin you. 'Proof' isn't going to change that. You have proof that you are not happy. You have proof that you don't trust him. You don't need proof that 'he is wrong'; it will only exacerbate his behaviours.

monsteramunch · 07/06/2023 14:52

Turningintoaspy · 07/06/2023 14:46

Watchkeys no I don't trust my partner. However, he is a first class narcissist and gasslighter. So I would like evidence of his cheating as he will attempt to ruin me if we spilt up in an attempt to protect his ego

A narcissist like that will try to ruin you no matter what. Staying with them until you have 'evidence' is just delaying the inevitable as whatever 'evidence' you collect they will say is false / exaggerated / a figment of your imagination etc.

Growing up under the same roof as the dynamic of a narcissist and their victim is so damaging for children. Every day you stay is a day you're further away from healing and another day your child is being damaged and learning that this dynamic is normal.

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