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Original poster

Message after sex with someone new

30 replies

useruseruser555 · 02/06/2023 21:01

Been dating a man for a few weeks now, all good daily contact etc, last night was date 6 and he invited me over to his, had sex snd after he asked me to stay, I was going to leave then this morning he got up to work and told me I could sleep in

After I left this morning he messaged a hour later saying

Thanks for the visit xx

I responded that I had a nice evening

We than exchanged a couple of general chit chat messages and that's been it

I'm feeling a little unsure about things now, there was no discussion of seeing each other again and I a little panicked that he was just after sex and no he's got it all the contact will die out

Though. Also think it's positive that he messaged within a hour of me leaving

What do you think

OP posts:
Snoozingagain · 02/06/2023 21:08

Trust your gut

CaloundraBlues · 02/06/2023 21:10

Thanks for the visit? I wouldn't be thrilled with that message at all

IsThereAnEchoInHere · 02/06/2023 21:12

What is supposed to do/say?

Sisisimone · 02/06/2023 21:13

'Thanks for the visit' is a really strange message. To me it sounds like he's not planning to see you again. That's how I'd read it anyway.

BHRK · 02/06/2023 21:15

I’d not do anything more… let him make the plan and make him chase you a bit. Sit on your hands! It could be just sex for him in which case you’re best out of it. If he doesn’t treat you properly just block him

janeseymour78 · 02/06/2023 21:19

If that message is anything to go by he sounds awfully do. It isn't enthusiastic either way.

LouLou198 · 02/06/2023 21:20

Bit of an odd message! I wouldn't chase him, see how it plays out.

Original poster
useruseruser555 · 02/06/2023 21:24

Yeah I thought I was odd but then I thought maybe his way to reach out he's South African

OP posts:
CaloundraBlues · 02/06/2023 21:26

What's with this reaching out stuff? Why can't he just have contacted you or sent you a message, reaching out how and for what?

AgnesX · 02/06/2023 21:28

If he hadn't any intention of seeing you again he wouldn't have left you in his home (well, I wouldn't have!).

AtrociousCircumstance · 02/06/2023 22:19

‘Thanks for the visit’ kind of underlines that you were a passing visitor rather than new potential gf. It’s quite formal. Also it’s weirdly transactional as if you were there to provide a service Confused Maybe he’s just clumsy with words or maybe it’s cultural but it’s not exuding warmth.

toomanyleggings · 02/06/2023 22:23

Just do nothing. Let him make new date plans

mondaytosunday · 02/06/2023 23:29

I think you give the guy a break! Give him a chance - his 'visit' was a bit clumsy but goodness it's just a word! If he hasn't contacted you in the next couple days, well then I'd start wondering .

holliebo · 02/06/2023 23:46

mondaytosunday · 02/06/2023 23:29

I think you give the guy a break! Give him a chance - his 'visit' was a bit clumsy but goodness it's just a word! If he hasn't contacted you in the next couple days, well then I'd start wondering .

I agree everyone is reading way too much into this.

He could've meant because you made the effort of travelling to his etc. Hes not said anything about it being a one off visit.

I doubt he'd be texting you at all if all he'd wanted was a quick shag, never mind texting within an hour. Plus asking you to stay over the leaving you alone in his house are good signs he likes you and feels comfortable.

Surely all that counts for more than a clumsily worded text that you're over analysing.

It's hard to know what to say. If he'd been more gushy, some would be saying love bombing. If he'd started talking about how great the sex was, others would be saying he's only after one thing etc etc

whatchagonnado · 03/06/2023 00:18

I agree - I think you're overthinking it a bit. He might be in a rush doing work stuff. At least he's been texting. Some don't.
I'd message something really warm back and see how he responds

Sisisimone · 03/06/2023 09:06

Thanks for the visit sounds like something you would send an escort. Very odd term of phrase

SallyWD · 03/06/2023 09:17

Unlike everyone else I don't think "Thanks for the visit" is a weird message at all! I think it's perfectly normal! If ever anyone visits me I always text "Thanks for coming". Maybe he didn't want to write "thanks for coming" because of the sexual connotations with that word. Has he been in touch since then?

LolaMoon · 03/06/2023 09:22

I don’t like “thanks for the visit” either- it’s cold and not very nice. He could have said I had a great time- great to see you or something. You’ve replied and told him you had a good time so I’d leave it up to him now.

Time will indicate his interest level.

Neverinamonthofsundays · 03/06/2023 09:35

I dont like thanks for the visit but he left you alone in his place instead of kicking you out so thats something.

Thisisworsethananticpated · 03/06/2023 10:29

Id read nothing into that
it’s always strange after the first shag

i generally assume if the sex was good , he’ll come a knocking again

men can go quiet 🤫 after intimacy
so just keep busy and ride the post sex oxytocin wave

EggInANest · 03/06/2023 10:42

Might be wry.

Imagine a wink after it.

Imagine him saying it in his voice.

How does he speak?

bellsandwhistles333 · 03/06/2023 10:51

My ex was South African and he had the oddest way of wording things at times so honestly I'd cut him some slack I don't think he meant anything by it obviously if things continue point it out

C1N1C · 03/06/2023 10:55

Lol, good luck with that...

continentallentil · 03/06/2023 10:58

I think he’s not interested in you but is a polite man. So if you want a relationship you should move on.

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 03/06/2023 11:00

useruseruser555 · 02/06/2023 21:24

Yeah I thought I was odd but then I thought maybe his way to reach out he's South African

That puts a different slant on things, we have a few SA friends and they would say this meaning thanks for a lovely time.

I'd give it a while and see if he contacts you.

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