Social services assessment

[Emilyh92]

I’m so scared and upset I just need some advice and to hear about others experiences with social services.

So basically the other night I called the police on my partner. It was a bit of a stupid argument but he hit me with a book he was holding twice on the arm. A week before this he had violently kicked my legs out from under me and I fell to the floor. I was really upset and fed up of this happening which was why I decided to call the police.

My little boy (4 months) was present for both, and I’ve told the police that, I spilled out everything to them as I was so emotional and told them every little bad thing that has ever happened in our relationship including name calling etc.

My partner was arrested and is on bail and cannot contact me at all, he can only see my son with a third party present.

social services have now contacted me to say they will come and talk to me as they need to assess the household. I’m going out of my mind with worry, what will happen? Will they try and take my baby away from me? Force me to leave my partner? (not to say that I won’t anyway but I’m so confused at the moment and haven’t made a decision).

Any advice would be great please, mainly about what may happen with social services

Thanks

He has crossed a massive line. He has physically assaulted you, not once, but several times (and possibly more than you have said here). He will do it again. SS know this. So if you are not sure about leaving him, or want to be with him, SS will be concerned and the intervention they make will be more intensive. Do yourself a favour and end this relationship. And be honest with SS.

Thank you to everyone who was kind and reassuring, it really helped to read these messages when I was feeling at my lowest.

Of course I’m going to leave him, I won’t pretend it will be easy but I can’t have a man like that in my sons life every day. I can’t have him growing up scared, or thinking that’s how we should talk to each other or act towards each other.

SS are coming to see me on Monday and have been lovely on the phone so far, hopefully they can help me with leaving this situation and starting a better life for me and my son

I feel for you ( I've been in a similar situation). Just work with ss, you'll be absolutely fine. They just need proof that you've left him. Please don't give him another chance to seriously injure yourself. Take care and keep strong you'll be OK

I'm sure OP realises the seriousness of the situation. Threatening her with removal of her child is just going to scare her sh..less.

Here here!

From personal experience and especially if charges are brought, you will be expected to end the relationship. Or the children go on a protection register etc.

You sound like a very devoted Mum in a bad situation, and SS will see this.

You've got this.

I've personal experience of this, unfortunately. The first assessment ended with DS on a child protection plan. He was not taken away. They visited every couple of weeks or so. The social worker was a lovely woman, in the end I was sad the visits ended tbh. I completed DV counselling and ex completed a DV prevention course. They ended the plan explaining it would start again if we got back together.
The plan started in the first place because they suspected I would take him back. They were right.
I kept the reunion secret.
Biggest mistake of my life.
I was called every name you can imagine, my money was taken, I was pushed around, screamed at... in the end I was assaulted, quite violently. I called the police and he was removed. Of course SS were called.
It took a few days for them to visit. By the time she arrived, another lovely woman, I'd packed up all his items, photos, every trace of him ready to be picked up. I'd contacted NCDV and had an appointment with a solicitor to arrange a non molestation order. I had also contacted another DV charity and arranged counselling. There was no doubt whatsoever that I was done.
Thanks also to some supportive posters here.
This visit resulted in no further action. She'd already spoken to his nursery, who I had also notified to keep ex and his family off contact list, and health visitor etc.

The point of this long story is to explain it really does depend on your attitude, what steps you have already taken and what you're willing to do to keep your child safe. Because believe me, he is not safe while you're in a relationship with that man.
It's scary I know but take it one day at a time, see this as the beginning of a better life.

My DD was in a very similar position. SS came and were satisfied that DD would keep her baby safe and not let ex into the house or have the baby unsupervised and that was it.
She did apply for and get a Non Molestation Order against him, following his arrest. Good Luck 💐

My friend had a similar experience it ended up with her child being placed in her care under a care order.

boyfriends/partners/lovers/husbands come and go. Even the nice ones.

Kids are forever.

You have taken the steps to protect your baby... Please do not go back to him and I can advise contacting women's aid they are amazing... Hope everything works out for you, also get a Claire's law check on him

Gosh that must have been so scary getting your legs kicked from under you

please stay away from this violent pathetic excuse of a man! Your son will grow to become him if you allow him to witness such abuse

protect your son at all costs

don’t worry about SS as long as you are keeping away from the father they will be supportive

I had a visit from SS because my ex had been abused by their new partner.

The lady from SS was lovely and helpful.

Since this meeting their new partner has abused them again. SS were correct about the abuse getting worse.

However my ex is ignoring SS and is not long allowed the children with their new partner present.

Very sad. Someone people do not put their children first. But SS where helpful.