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Relationships

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Original poster

Partner kissed someone else

44 replies

Robyn3828282 · 30/05/2023 11:00

Advice please? Been with my boyfriend for 4 years and at the weekend we went out and back to someone’s house. We Went upstairs to go to sleep and I woke up and realised he wasn’t there, he said he went for a cigarette, I then found him locked in the toilet with another girl, he admitted they kissed but said nothing else happened. I’m absolutely heartbroken because before this everything was perfect and the worst part is we are meant to go on a holiday to Thailand in 2 weeks so I’m just beside myself with what to do and how to deal with this. I’m in complete turmoil about whether to end the relationship or give him another chance and try get through it. What would you do? Advice appreciated x

OP posts:

ilovemydogmore · 30/05/2023 11:01

You immediately end the relationship. What little respect and care he has for you that he would so brazenly cheat on you, right in front of you and others.

Viewfrommyhouse · 30/05/2023 11:01

I'd break up with him.

TheSnowyOwl · 30/05/2023 11:02

Of course you end things. He only admitted to what he could get away with because he was caught. To be so brazen, it’s probably not his first time cheating and I would fully expect he has had sex with someone else, even if he got caught before having the opportunity this time. LFB and get a sexual health check.

GoodChat · 30/05/2023 11:02

End it.
That wasnt a spur of the moment drunken mistake. He disappeared and they intentionally locked themselves away.

OrderOfTheKookaburra · 30/05/2023 11:03

No way did you manage to catch him the very first time he did this. You caught him because he has done it many times before and got complacent.

bibbityboppityboo · 30/05/2023 11:05

I think he's done it before honestly - at 4 years together and you're upstairs and he's comfortable enough to start getting with other people downstairs?! That's wild.

I'd leave him, ignore the holiday. Do you want to go to a far flung country with him? And have those memories? I wouldn't.

readbooksdrinktea · 30/05/2023 11:06

He admitted to the kiss because he got caught. I wouldn't believe him for a moment about no sex.

I would also wonder if it was the first time. I'd end it.

StarDolphins · 30/05/2023 11:06

I would end this relationship immediately. If not, he will do this again. You deserve better, he wont stop at a kiss next time. You were in the same house fgs, what a dirty dog.

Hallmark1234 · 30/05/2023 11:08

I would forget about the holiday for the time being and tell him it's over between you.

His reaction will tell you how he really feels about you. If he's not bothered, you won't want to spend weeks away with him....it will be torture for you, but if he fights for you, there may be hope for a way forward.

Softoprider · 30/05/2023 11:19

Oh dear. You have to ask yourself why he was locked in a toilet with another woman, and the answer has to be for sex, so the next move has to be from you - which is to remove yourself as far away as you can get from him

EverythingsCominUpMilhouse · 30/05/2023 11:28

Leave him, I agree with PP that he has likely cheated before and this is just the first time you've caught him.

Can you go to Thailand with a friend instead?

Frogmila · 30/05/2023 11:36

Sorry but I don't believe it was only a kiss or intended to be only a kiss.

happylittletree · 30/05/2023 11:37

LTB

TheFormidableMrsC · 30/05/2023 11:38

It's the end. I'm sorry, so bloody awful and hurtful. My ex husbands cheating was prolific. I didn't find out how prolific until he left. He won't change. You deserve better

WhineWhineWhineWINE · 30/05/2023 11:43

He's a liar and a cheat and not the person you thought he was. He absolutely 100% will not change, no matter what lines he spins you now. Save yourself the future heartbreak and walk away now.

meandtheboy · 30/05/2023 11:44

Sorry love, he has no respect for you whatsoever...and you will never be able to trust him again.

Bin him. See if you can get a friend to come on holiday or worst case just go on your own. Don't give him any attention whatsoever, other than to ask that he pays back the holiday money so you're not out of pocket.

twoandcooplease · 30/05/2023 11:53

End it. 110% I would end it

And if you can find somebody else to go on holiday with

JandalsAlways · 30/05/2023 11:57

Frogmila · 30/05/2023 11:36

Sorry but I don't believe it was only a kiss or intended to be only a kiss.

Definitely not, locking themselves in the toilet means it was planned and intended to go further. Dump this pig

orangeskies12 · 30/05/2023 12:08

My ex did this to me- we all passed our after a night drinking at a "friends" house, and when I woke up in the night he was in the next room kissing my friend. He blamed it on the drink.

I don't honestly believe he did it with anyone else while we were together, but it was certainly representative of his general attitude to our relationship. That's why he's now my ex.

NapoliTutti · 30/05/2023 12:09

This is simply the first time you caught him, also they didnt lock themselves away to kiss.

I’d be calling the holiday people either airline or agent and seeing if you can change one ticket to a later date… that way you can go away without him and have a great time. Cheating prick.

PizzaPastaWine · 30/05/2023 12:13

You end it and go to Thailand yourself.

Shapemyeyebrows · 30/05/2023 12:22

@Robyn3828282 wow it takes something to do what he did under the same roof as his long term partner. I couldn’t forgive this- if he can do this when you are there, what is he up to when you’re not?! I also don’t believe someone cheats for the first time in this scenario, it’s just so brazen so he’s likely done it before.

VDisappointing · 30/05/2023 12:34

People don't lock themselves in the toilet for a kiss - they were expecting to be in there a long time.

Opentooffers · 30/05/2023 12:49

It really is better to accept the financial hit of cancelling a holiday at late notice than being on holiday with someone you don't want to be and all the awkwardness around it. You'd just end up chucking more money at having a miserable time. He might talk you round, but it will be on your mind. If he's the type to do that with you upstairs, he'll be up to far worse when you are not there. He has no loyalty or respect for a partner and that is who he is, so he's not worth your time because you are a better person clearly than he is. He will carry on like this with other GF's in future because he has no respect for women, that's his fault and nothing to do with you.

doitwithlove · 30/05/2023 13:19

Is there a good, reliable friend/family member who can go on the holiday with you.

I would end it, if you decide to work through it - he has done it once, he will do it again despite him saying he won't

Why did he do it?

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