I really really really HATE him!!!

[OnZephyrstdayofXmas]

DP. He is the biggest w**r on the planet. This after noon we came in from the car. I had 5 minutes to get round to the school to pay for the school pics and the money for dd to go to the xmas party next week. Instead of helping me he just left ds sitting in the car seat in a huge snowsuit and walked off to make a cup of tea. So I made a few sarcastic comments, got ds out, settled him in his chair and started him on his bottle. DP sat on the sofa and fell asleep. So I am still here, no money paid. Deadline was today. We are supposed to be going to my mums tomorrow as its my sisters 14th b'day today. DD is so excited as she loves going to see them. DP got called to work, stormed off, phoned from the car and said he's not taking us. DD in tears, dp just screaming at me down the phone.
I hate his f'ing guts. He always says 'one day I just won't come home' .... I wish he'd hurry up.

Sorry - rant over!!!

no worries vict - it wasnt really a serious one today - just had to have a moan instead of kicking a door or something!!! (much cheaper )

I always moan to my friends. Saves so much time and energy.

I'm learning that slowly Mars, I spent years just bottling stuff up and taking it out on a door or something but like this thread - I wrote it down and the anger was gone!!
God I love Mumsnet!! lol

It makes it easier to talk things through later in a calm place or to focus on the important fights - not that I'm advocating fisticuffs you understand

of course! Would never resort to fisticuffs......honest!!!!!!!

well maybe......... lol

I know just how you and fimboclaus feel with the driving thing. My parents live 50 miles from us and I have to rely on dh to take me. I have decided that I WILL pass my driving test next year. It's just not that easy with a 14 month old. Hope things work out.

Zephyr, First and foremost I have to say that yours is my favourite christmas name: very witty.

As for your DH, I am amrried to his personality twin. HE wouldn't storm out, but he would up and refuse to carry out whatever was planned for a day and ruin the whole day just to make me mad. It was usually because I did something that upset him (but not intentionally, and not even knowingly).

But, a few months ago I decided that I need to regain some control over my own happiness. So, I have mad a concious effort to create a circle of friends so that I have somewhere to go without him when he wants to act like a jerk. It's given me a bit more freedom.

However, I work full time and have my own car and drivers license so my DH doesn't have that power over me. Why don't you have a drivers licence? Could you get one? Then you could just take the car and leave him pouting.

I've gotten to the point wher when dh acts like a two year old I just say well I'm dorry you feel that way, but I'm still going to go without you. If he wants to be ajerk I can;t control that, but I do have the power to make my own schedule, and hence control my happiness.

You're right Uwila - he does things like this because he knows he can. If we could afford to do it I think getting my licence and a car would make a big change to the 'control' issue, and I'm sure he would think twice about starting his crap if he thought I could just up and leave

You don't need the car so much, just get a license and use "his" car.

lol good thinking!!

Hi Zephyr, sorry about your dp being such a twat. I agree, he was being a prize twat. It won't be any consolation to you, but my dh is also a total wanker and I'm really pissed off with him too. He thinks he has such a hard life just going to work and earning the money - obviously all I do is sit on my arse watching Trisha and eating chocolates all day, never mind the unending round of feeding, washing, cleaning, cooking, dropping off and picking up that life with 2 kids involves. Was about to start a new thread on it actually, but think I have found my niche on this one!

I wish I had something positive to say to you but in my current mindset all I can offer is that basically, how happy you are depensds on the degree to which you can accomodate your desires to fit the reality that is your dp. He sure ain't gonna change. Mins is just the same, and after endless rows, relate, etc etc, he at best just makes the right noises and at worst is also a complete knobhead. Just now I told him I felt totally taken for granted and like a drudge and nothing more, and his response was to tell me I am a "stupid, stupid cow".

Oh God men are such a waste of time aren't they?

Hiya lulupop - sorry to hear yours is being a b***d too - and at the same time glad there is someone else to talk to in the same boat!!
There's nowhere near enough room for me to go through all the stupi/horrid things dp has said and done, or how many times he's told me I dont appreciate him when he works all day and then i ask him to maybe do the dishes or something - how dare i eh??!!
Sometimes he acts like he is the only person in the world that works and the rest of us should bow down to him for doing it -I think not!!!!!

I'm always around with an understanding ear should you feel the need for a rant!!!

God, Zephyr, think we could have a great evening out comparing notes!

Am just listening to my dh trying to manhandle ds into the bath now, whihc involved dragging him away from his new pirate DVD of The Incredibles (kindly provided by our local Triads!). The amount of crying and screeching (from ds0 going on is bound to wake dd up, and it's all I can do to stop myself taking over... on the other hand I always hope DH might get an inkling of what my daily life is like! Not that he'd ever admit it, even if he did.

Quite a lot of the time at the moment I ask myself whether or not I even like the man, whihc seems unfiar as he is a good bloke really, but then I think I'm quite nice too and nobody else round my house seems to even notice.

Listen to me, moan moan moan. One of these days I'm going to do something about it. Been reading Spook's thread and vicariously living the thrill of a new man in her life - which at leasr reminds me there is some point to it all.

sorry about all the typos. must go and make myself a g&t, might calm me down!

lol your house sounds so much like mine! dd will sometimes throw a complete wobbly if dp tries to do something with her as she's very pro-mummy unless it suits her to like him at the time!! I usually give in and take over as it makes life easier and stops him getting wound up but like you also like for him to get a taste of my life - would love to see him on his own for 24 hours but I'd be scared I'd have no babies left!!!
Also like you, dp is actually a fairly decent bloke - when he wants to be!!! But when he doesnt he's a horrid git and I find myself looking at him thinking 'why are you even here - leave!!' lol

Sounds like we could have many good chats coming up!!!

Can I come to you get together. Mine is just the same. Agian, nice guy when he wants to be, but only on HIS schedule. The only difference is I get the inmpression you guys are at home with kids all day, and I go out to paid employment. It's no different though, Dh comes home at the end of the week wanting to know why I haven't done all the household chores just ready to play with him on the weekend (whether that be going to mall, or to dinner, or wherever). And I just well, well w*nker, cause I've been at work. At least I come home every night to see my daughter.

Men are lazy sods because they can be. They don't get up in the middle of the night because they know that if they don't we will. And we do get up in the middle of the night because we know that if we don't no one will.

welcome Uwila!!! you are soo right about the 'laziness' - when dp fell asleep this afternoon i said to him "I'll just go and sleep for an hour shall I - oh! but who will look after the children???" He just looked at me!!
When I was pregnant with ds he told me that if I was working he would help with the dinner/washing up/tidying etc in the evenings - it was only because i had all day to do it that he didn't help. So, at 20 weeks pregnant I went and got a job!! Did anything change???????

OMG Dh has just gone mad and left the house. I am shaking. Think I need to start my own thread.

Get rid of him...........sorry to sound harsh but life is too short to put up with that kind of behaviour especially as it will affect your children long term too.
Can you get to your mums without him?

are you ok lulupop? whats happened?

Get rid of him? Crikey, don't you think that's a bit short term? For whatever faults he may have, (and we all have them, myself included), he's still a person with feelings.

I will never give up my job (and I am pregnant with no. 2) because it is my ticket to freedon should I ever need to use it. I have my limits on how much crap I will put up with, and then I just back off and take care of me for a while.

Our biggest struggle is Saturday morning when he relishes in his leisure time and I get so mad because it's my bloody Saturday too!!

My DH thinks that sitting in front of Noddy with DD while he reads his books and pays little or no attention to her counts as looking after her. Or when she was an infant, he used to say that I go run out to the store while she slept. Then at the end of the day he would quote the hour or two he looked after her. Yeah, while she slept! I bet that was hard work.

Lulu, don't panic. He's probably gone to cool his heels.

Maybe I was a bit harsh which isn't like me but to be honest nobody deserves to be treated like that or spoken to like a piece of shite do they?

you still there lulu? you ok?