Cancelled date - text response

[theobe]

Been dating someone if few weeks was going really well, strong chemistry, contact etc

We meet Friday and was a bit more intimate, no PIV. And he asked to see me Saturday but we didn't firm up plans

Saturday at 7pm he says sorry can't get childcare we can do tomorrow? I say ok that's cool

I've messaged this morning asking for time place tonight snd he's just cancelled again apparently due to childcare (though hasn't been a issue in the past) 🤷‍♀️ shall I just send this as response and leave him to it ?

Ok, I'm really sorry to hear that you have to cancel again, have a good bank hols weekend.

What sort of message does that text give ?

If he’s having childcare issues he should be proactive and tell you asap not wait for you to ask.

Sorry OP. I think it’s a lazy brush off & I wouldn’t bother replying.

If he’s child care issues he’s child care issues. Just say sure no worries have a great weekend

Definitely in the "no worries" camp here

Your message, ok, or no worries are all fine...

But, here's the key bit...after youve sent it, you do not send any more messages. It's absolutely his turn.

That's true, but it if were in his position, and I was genuinely interested, I would have been far more apologetic at having to cancel twice and be looking to suggest other possible future dates.

Also, if you met on the Friday, the fact he suggested meeting the very next day sounds like he's serious about you... but not following through and the cursory double cancellation will is giving very mixed messages!

Oh God, do we think any man has ever agonised over a text like this? 😆No, they just write it and move on without a second thought. Sometimes it sucks to be women and burdened with all this analysis.

This.

OP he’s just not that into you.

If he likes you he will make it a priority to see you, and rearrange any cancelled dates asap.

Don’t reply. I always give them the benefit of the doubt despite my own advice and without fail they ghost me.

A man who wants to see you will not read anything into your inclusion/exclusion of the word “really” etc. he’ll just text you and ask you out again. If he doesn’t, move on. Meant with love.

I’m another ‘no worries’ as well. If I were you I’d be thinking ‘am I still interested?’ rather than is he. Agree with all who’ve said about the mixed messages, and also those who’ve said shit does happen, particularly as a parent, but he could have been more pro-active about letting you know. So rather than shoot it in the face or come across as disappointed I’d keep it super brief and let him try a bit harder next time. Assuming you want to.

@BigPussyEnergy

This.

OP he’s just not that into you.

Hold on, I'm not saying he's not into the OP. He might be and I've posted what I would send or, alternatively, I'd agree with "no worries". I was just thinking aloud about what we put ourselves through as women.

I agree with this to be honest.

He might not have been in touch first because he was trying to sort alternative arrangements.

If a man likes a woman then yes, they do agonise over the meaning of the words and the subtext.

Oh and needless to say, whatever you decide to send or not send, don’t message him again. The ball is firmly in his court

Did you wait in all of Saturday or something? I wouldn't bother getting so invested, for all you know at this point he could be shit in bed

I’d be annoyed by this, msging you late at 7pm on Saturday isn’t on. Why couldn’t he have said that earlier in the day and let you make your own plans for that evening? The same with Sunday , you msg him first and only then does he tell you he can’t meet. Again. Your time it seems means very little to him.
Was Friday your first date with him? If it was and now he’s acting like this its strange and I wouldn’t bother to msg him again. If you don’t msg back and he doesn’t msg u ever again, you have your answer about how much he wanted to pursue you in the first place.

I’d probably just acknowledge the text with something like “ok” or “no worries” and then leave the ball in his court to plan a new date.

Totally agree with this. Ok is all that’s needed. It’s neutral and the great thing is, it can be interpreted in numerous ways without you having to decide to be annoyed with him or not

Actually I disagree, if got just an ok back I’d assume I’d pissed the person off. it’d very abrupt.

I agree.

I’ve had to cancel a few times due to childcare issues so I feel his pain.

But if may also be a brush off and so i’d just text back saying no worries but do not reach out to him again.
If he wants to see you he will let you know.

I would reply "OK, no worries, speak soon" and see if he makes contact again, if he doesn't then he wasn't into you and you can move on x

I don't think he's that interested, not when it's you chasing the plans and chasing the time to meet, if his childcare let him down, surely a decent person would let you know rather than when you get in touch.
Don't reply.

I wouldn’t bother with him if he cba to let me know until 7pm on sat eve that he cannot make it then I’d not be chasing him for a time the next day.

A woman sending a text is not chasing.

Are you from the 1950s?

@Freefall212 no far from it, I don't keep messaging a man because I can easily spot a disinterested man and have self respect.

@theobe I would just say no worries. He might genuinely have child care issues but he doesn’t sound overly bothered about letting you know in advance or following up with you. Let him message you now and put a bit of effort in after cancelling twice.