I am divorced and six months into a relationship with a nice man. It’s quite a good relationship and I trust him but it has had problems and I’ve felt like he isn’t really interested at times. But I’d like it to continue and I’m worried I did something to jeopardise it by accident.
Something happened last week and I can’t quite get my head round it. I have been working through a lot of childhood trauma and it has appealed to me to connect - in some cases reconnect - with the oldest family and school friends I know. I went to see a man I have known since we were very little, who has always been a family friend. A safe person who has always been kind. I had my first real crush on him (didn’t tell him) and it passed.
Anyway the other day we had coffee and as we were getting ready to go I felt this enormous spark between us. Like nothing I’ve ever felt before. We hugged and it was so kind of sexy, and surprising, that I kissed him on the lips. Then we had a chat in which we said we both felt it, but that it absolutely shouldn’t be pursued. We agreed not to mention it to our partners. I have to say I’m still reeling from it. It was physically such a surge of love.
I feel very guilty in respect of my new relationship, though. Should I tell him? I know I crossed a line, because of the kiss, and really because of the strength of feeling involved. But I did it because of other emotional reasons, and absolutely won’t do it again. I feel like that’ll never happen again. It’s never, ever happened to me before. I don’t want to ruin the chance of trust in my new thing, but wonder if even that is selfish.