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Original poster

Why being over 40 is the end of it all - according to NM

56 replies

PaintedEgg · 26/05/2023 10:58

I keep seeing a lot of posts about being over 40 / in your 40s that imply this is some sort of end of life period.

Women are said to suddenly hit menopause, which apparently means turning into frogs and never having sex again, while men are said to suddenly lose all vitality, their erection and will to live.

Where is all of this coming from?

OP posts:
lilmishap · 26/05/2023 14:22

I should have been clearer. I fuck. Regularly the pillow talk itch is scratched, I just discovered I don't miss the rest of it. At all.
I love pillow talk. I love sex but the rest of it I couldn't give a shit about.
Flame me but dating apps are like ordering a pizza. A loss of libido is not the end of intimacy, it just signals the start of new social skills

Original poster
PaintedEgg · 26/05/2023 14:25

@Blueisthecolour1 there are people in their 30s who claim to feel old and like nothing good will ever happen to them...we can only feel bad for them :P

@NewNovember even if you really like having your kids around you may equally like them being adults and having more free time. Like my mum is a typical mother-hen, overprotective and if it was up to her she'd keep us home longer. But by her own admission she likes the freedom of walking around the house naked - she likes it so much that she randomly disclosed this bit of info to me and my sister over cup of tea 😂

OP posts:
Original poster
PaintedEgg · 26/05/2023 14:26

lilmishap · 26/05/2023 14:22

I should have been clearer. I fuck. Regularly the pillow talk itch is scratched, I just discovered I don't miss the rest of it. At all.
I love pillow talk. I love sex but the rest of it I couldn't give a shit about.
Flame me but dating apps are like ordering a pizza. A loss of libido is not the end of intimacy, it just signals the start of new social skills

I like you - you seem to have it all figured out! :D

OP posts:
eurochick · 26/05/2023 14:32

Statistically isn't 48 supposed to be the unhappiest year?

I'm close to that and life does seem pretty tough now. I'm pretty disillusioned with work and have been working full time without a break for over 20 years, barring six months of mat leave. I have a child in primary school so still have quite a bit of childcare and running around to do and just never seem to have any time for myself. One of my child's grandparents died earlier this year and another is undergoing pretty gruelling cancer treatment. I've lost three friends my age to cancer (2 breast, 1 bowel). My libido has vanished, peri is sending me slightly loopy and I seem to be bleeding more often than not.

Certainly for me, mid-40s is my toughest life period yet.

Olinguita · 26/05/2023 14:34

lljkk · 26/05/2023 13:08

I think that the loudest voices are the unhappy ones. They aren't majority, they just have a lot to say. & are uninhibited in saying it.

People who are content don't have much to say. Esp. in British culture, where gloating is so frowned upon. Stiff upper lip culture is very long gone; in fact, bottling up your unhappiness is itself increasingly unacceptable.

So I'm American & we overshare & wallow in our own feelings: fair enough. We also believe fervently in optimism & taking / making opportunities. I don't encounter a lot of agile thinking on MN about making most of opportunities. Resilience & shrugging is under-encouraged here, even condemned as inviting abusive treatment. People IRL are more stoic & less moany than MNers.

fwiw, aging is treating me more nicely than it did my parents. I am a resolutely stubbornly much more glass-half-full person anyway.

I am a Brit and honestly, while this won't be popular on here, I agree with what you are saying. I think that being miserable is culturally encouraged, especially as you get older. Your post is something interesting for me to reflect on as I prepare to hit the big 40 in a few months from now
@heatdeath "circle the drain" - brilliant, definitely stealing that phrase. I have yet to see how my 40s will pan out but my DH and I have had a number of crappy things happen in our late 30s (bereavement, hectic jobs, non-sleeping child, a demanding elderly parent) and we are gradually getting to a point where we are realising that while much is outside our control, we CAN control our attitudes. Life is indeed short and I'm not going to waste being bogged down, miserable and dragging others down with me in the process. I have a choice.

finallygotospeaktoSky · 26/05/2023 14:36

Late fifties dh and me have high sex drive, toys the lot. It has become better, no contraception, more time and both really enjoy ourselves. Not dead yet !

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