How can I be with a man who I love?

[HinokiDream]

Please help lovely ones!

Yesterday a guy got back in touch who had previously messed me around. We had a bit of a show down, 5 weeks ago, and then had no contact. Yesterday he messaged me and I was cool but friendly. We ended up getting into a text chat from around 8pm to 3am. The last hour of which was on the phone. We didn’t talk about the past, we just reconnected and had fun chatting with each other.

He wanted to see me today or tomorrow but I said I couldn’t. Part of me is scared that I’ll get hurt and part of me is embarrassed because I have gained a lot of weight since I last saw him. So I made some excuses. I can’t see him this week and, he doesn’t know this yet, but I’m on holiday next week. By the end of next week I will feel more confident physically, I think.

I love this man. I haven’t told him that but I do. However, I don’t want to get hurt. How do I move forward and build trust?

How can I let him know that I’m interested and open to a relationship with him without giving away all of my power and being exposed?

I would really like to be with him long term. I really appreciate your thoughts and advice.

I have name changed because I’m embarrassed about my previous threads for being a bit pathetic. The new me wants to be strong.

No one's said that I honestly don't know what you want people to say, there have been so many threads. They all end like this, you saying everyone is right and within a couple weeks there's a new almost identical thread.
He won't change. Accept it or don't op, but you need to make the choice, no one else can.

They don't change op, I've been in this situation for 6 months, then he stopped contact for 6 months and I was good, I lost weight joined a gym then of course he's back again. Saw him once, he got what he wanted now I'm back to being ignored. Find something else to focus on. Honestly it helps so much.

Listen, you are already saying you are not good enough for this man due to having gained weight, hun you should never worry about that, specially if its someone who treated you so badly the 1st time round. Dont give him any more of your time. Yes you may think you love him, and he is clearly love bombing you so this may befault into you thinking he does love you, but its a classic narc behavior's where they discard of you, then pull you back in few weeks later with all the love and devotion out there, its a play. You are worth more than this.