Partner resents that I lost my business

[Anamorph]

Well, the title says it.

I lost my business and went from being well off to in bad debt.

Combination of three factors led to this.

First one was the pandemic which catastrophically damaged the business. I trued my best but the lock downs were savage and I didn't get government support.

Second one was my partner had an affair and cut a long story short I had a full nervous breakdown from it all.

Third one was that I have quite bad long covid, which caused chronic fatigue and memory loss and so on.

I won't list life stressors. They've been enormous and relentless. My partner hasn't been helpful. All he does is moan about how it all affects him.

Honestly just the worst few years ever and I got to a point I barely want to be awake, but I do my best to look after everyone.

Our income halved though. And he does nothing but complain about it and make me feel guilty.

I dunno why I am posting really. I just feel alone and like my life is screwed up.

Your mum sounds supportive. Can you stay with her for a while? But definitely mal an appointment to see your GP.

Mal? Make!

You have so many things going on there! From my own experience, the first thing you need to concentrate on is your health. Because when you are feeling down and ill, no energy etc… it’s impossible to also feel and be strong enough to take other decisions such as ones around your marriage.

As others have said, go and see your GP re depression. Get counselling privately. You need support to be able to deal with the grief of losing your business. The grief of being ill with LC. The grief of your relationship not being what you thought it was.

Please don’t put all the symptoms you have on depression too. I’m not saying that you are not depressed but a lot if the things you describe can also be linked with LC. You need support there too (you won’t find that with your GP though. Online support, and ime Twitter, is the best place). And unfortunately, this is something people with LC have to learn for themselves as there is nothing support wise from the NHS and the likes.

Put him on the back burner. Ignore him, grey rock him, distance yourself from him winging. Concentrate on you. What will make you feel better? Time at your mum? Go for it. Spending money on yourself (like counselling, supplements, time away, whatever) then do it. You need to put your health first and foremost and tbh, as your partner, he should WANT you to do that.

fwiw, having gone through something similar, it takes time. But once you feel strong enough to put boundaries around yourself and your health, the you’ll also feel strong enough to tell him to fuck off. Or to remind him that he has a part to play, eg for him to actually do some work on regaining your trust rather him being resentful about something you couldn’t do anything about. Or to take a decision on whether LTB is the right thing for you to do.

@Anamorph you're only 45 and you talk like you're at death's door and about to turn into an ancient dust...and even if you were, you'd probably enjoy the last 5 min of it more than another few years with that guy