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Original poster

Letter - Handwritten or typed ?

34 replies

FoghornLeghorn · 19/02/2008 13:54

There have been several threads over the last 9 months or so so wont go into it all again but DH and I have decided we want to make some sort of move to resolve and issue between ourselves, DH's DB and his wife.
We've thought long and hard and we don't want to go the next 15 years or whatever without even trying to hold out an olive branch so we have decided to write a letter from the 2 of us to the 2 of them.

We are going to try and put something together tonight so do we handwrite or type ?

OP posts:
themildmanneredjanitor · 19/02/2008 13:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ArmadilloDaMan · 19/02/2008 13:56

handwrite.

Typing is too impersonal.

Alambil · 19/02/2008 13:58

handwrite - do a rough draft on the PC if it is quicker and then handwrite your final one IMO

procrastinatingparent · 19/02/2008 14:01

Handwritten.

PotPourri · 19/02/2008 14:01

Definately hand write. As suggested, you can type up until you perfect it (cutting/pasting/deleting etc), and then copy it out. good luck!

procrastinatingparent · 19/02/2008 14:02

And run it past a third party if you feel you can so they can search for anything that might be misinterpreted.

Letters like that are hard to write and hard to receive. So, good luck.

Original poster
FoghornLeghorn · 19/02/2008 14:04

We are being very cautious about what is written as things we have already thought of could and probably would be misinterpretted.

Handwritten it is then !

I will run past the MN jury when draughted !

OP posts:
warthog · 19/02/2008 19:04

good luck. i think you're doing the right thing.

Lulumama · 19/02/2008 19:06

wow, you are by far the bigger people in this situation. hope it is received in the manner in which it is offered, but don;t be surprised if you get a metaphorical slap in the face .

Original poster
FoghornLeghorn · 19/02/2008 19:09

Thanks guys
We are definitely prepared for the slap in the face, but at least we would have tried.

OP posts:
pageturner · 19/02/2008 19:13

FL - handwrite but make sure you keep a copy (pref photocopy). I wrote a letter to my DB of a sensitive nature but he went round saying I'd written something really offensive but I hadn't, and I didn't have a copy of the letter to prove it!

itsahardknocklife · 19/02/2008 19:14

handwrite.

I 'split' from my brother just over a year ago, so you have my sympathy. Although I have no intentions of holding out an olive branch in the near future. Still angry and him at his partner

Original poster
FoghornLeghorn · 19/02/2008 19:27

I will keep a copy on the laptop but will write the letter we actually send so it seems more personal.

Sorry to hear about your relationships

OP posts:
Original poster
FoghornLeghorn · 19/02/2008 20:14

Oh god ! I'm stuck on how to even start this ...... think it is going to be harder than anticipated !

OP posts:
Original poster
FoghornLeghorn · 19/02/2008 21:16

OK, it's done - anyone around to give their opinions ?

OP posts:
itsahardknocklife · 19/02/2008 21:20

I'm here if I can help.

kd73 · 19/02/2008 21:22

Good luck.

pageturner · 19/02/2008 21:22

I'm here too.

Original poster
FoghornLeghorn · 19/02/2008 21:23

To DB & DBW,

We don?t really know how to start this but we wanted to do something to try and resolve the situation between us and after lots of thinking decided writing a letter would probably be the best idea

The last few months have been horrible not having any relationship with nephew, niece1 & neice2, we think about them loads and our feelings have never changed towards them.
We hate to think that we are going to have a new niece or nephew soon that we wont have any involvement with and also that our new baby wont get to know it?s Uncle, Auntie & Cousins (that goes for DD1 & DD2 too).
We miss not having some sort of relationship with you both too.

We both said and did things that weren?t right to happen on occasion, which we are sorry for, we would never have chosen for things to turn out the way they did.
We don?t expect things to go back to how they were but it would be nice if we could build some bridges, the children get back to having the normal relationship that cousins should and the 4 of us try to move forward.

We don?t want to go on for the next 2, 5 or 10 years without at least trying to explain how we feel and to try to re-build our relationship.

Would be nice to hear from you.

Love

FHLHDH & FHLH

OP posts:
itsahardknocklife · 19/02/2008 21:28

I think that's very nice, but I would make one change.
I would change this sentence: We miss not having some sort of relationship with you both too. to We miss not having some sort of relationship with you both and and put it at the start of that paragraph.
I got a letter of similar ilk from FIL a couple years ago and made me even crosser because it was phrased in a way that made it sound like he only wanted to build bridges so he would know his unknown grandchild, and it sounded like he didn't want to know us as his son and DIL.
Just a suggestion

worzella · 19/02/2008 21:30

That struck me too - well done though for trying to build bridges!

Original poster
FoghornLeghorn · 19/02/2008 21:33

Thanks itsahardknocklift The children are the main reason to be perfectly honest but I don't want to imflame the situation even more so will change that line

OP posts:
itsahardknocklife · 19/02/2008 21:36

happy to help

Original poster
FoghornLeghorn · 19/02/2008 21:39

I have removed the line "How can we go from being so close to just nothing" - am I right ?

OP posts:
itsahardknocklife · 19/02/2008 21:40

yes I would leave it out if it is phrased as a question - it might come across as you accusing them.