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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Am I just going to be alone forever?

53 replies

Mollylegs · 16/05/2023 20:02

My husband left me 8 months ago, I am still devastated. We had been together 21 years and the whole thing has just been a nightmare. I'm 50 years old and i'm now facing the rest of my life alone. My son 19 still lives at home but I know he will leave at some point. My husband left me for somebody else and I know I won't trust anyone again so guess I will just have to be lonely. I know thats a big problem and it's my own fault. I was wondering if anyone my age has any advice? Am I just going to be on my own forever?

OP posts:

GreyCarpet · 19/05/2023 06:12

Mollylegs I've PM'd you x

Original poster

Mollylegs · 19/05/2023 10:56

Hi @highdaysandholudays thank you so much for your really kind post. Life does feel pretty rubbish at the moment and it's hard to get through every day. Your right in what you said about how would I treat a friend in my shoes and I'd be telling her none of it was her fault. 21 years and a child with this person and that is how he treat me. My MIL says that her poor son was unhappy at home, strange because I thought we had a good life, what happened was he got caught, plain and simple. To be honest when I wrote the post I don't think I meant I wanted someone else, I just don't want to be lonely forever if you get what I mean xx

OP posts:

highdaysandholudays · 19/05/2023 11:06

@Mollylegs They all rewrite history. All of them. It's a proven tactic. He wasn't unhappy with you. He was just unhappy. My MIL said that me and my ex were always arguing which is why he went off with someone else. They won't see it. The reason men like this do what they do is because their mothers treat them like Princes. Urgh.

I know what you mean about being alone. It is lonely not having someone to share the mental load with. I do have friends who I really value. I have two brothers who don't live locally but have been there for me. My Dad lives close by and is still in pretty good shape. Lost my mum just before all this happened. None of this replaces what I've lost but it helps immensely moving forward.

Your future is unwritten. Uncertain. That feels bloody scary but it's early days. Just be kind to yourself.

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