Emotionally immature DP

[PrinceCharlesFoutainPen]

My DP is 43 and can at times be very emotionally immature - rarely says sorry, expects certain behaviour for others but doesn't always behave that way himself, poor communication skills - often shuts down physically and emotionally when stressed etc. He has got better over the years and the emotionally immature behaviour is probably once every six months or so, sometimes even longer periods. Apart from this childishness, he's a nice person - funny, attentive, supportive (providing he's not stressed) and we have a normal relationship.

Anyway, he's clearly been stressed at work recently as I can see the signs and I've been giving him a bit of space and leaving him to it, as he gets irritated if I ask him what's wrong and denies there is anything. Last night I got back late and teen DD has a virus. I mentioned that quite a few kids I teach are off with a similar one. He said well it's probably because she went out without a coat, to which i responded that's not how you get a virus, she will have caught it as it's going round. He is from another country and people seem to believe that you can get a virus by walking with bare feet, or going out without a coat (even if that was true, which it isn't its 23 degrees at night where we live). Anyway, he was being a bit patronising, although he was obviously wrong, so I said if he doesn't believe me, then look it up on the internet as there's no point in arguing about it. He huffed off, was in a foul mood and came to bed the same.

I said there's no point in arguing and having a bad atmosphere over nothing and apparently I don't respect his opinions (😮 - it's a fact not an opinion; but anyway...) and told me to never speak to him in his life again and went on to block me, while next to me in bed, on WhatsApp, Facebook and Instagram.

I'm honestly a bit exhausted by the level of childishness. That just isn't normal behaviour. There are no other problems in our relationship, we had a lovely weekend together and this came out of nowhere because when he's in a bad mood you can say the smallest thing and it sets him off. He'll go back to normal over the next few days and there will be no apology for his complete overreaction. I know I could have probably said nothing, but I don't want DD growing up being told that you're going to get sick if you don't dry wet hair, walk around without socks or wear a coat in 23 degree weather fgs.

"So, if you do come into contact with a virus during the winter months, your body’s defence mechanisms may not be as good at fighting it off if you’re cold."

If you're cold you wear a coat. If you're not cold you don't. So your logic here is flawed.

Bearing in mind this is an article that states its an opinion piece. There isn't any solid evidence proving your point.

Why did you procreate with such a fuckwit?

Yes but often people go out thinking they don't need a coat, the weather changes...they end up cold. Or it's sunny and nice but the wind is icy and they didn't know so didn't grab a scarf.

They power through thinking it'll be fine. Wind up with the sniffles. These things happen.

Gosh I'm sorry to say this, but it is absolutely and utter shite.

This says no where that being cold/forgetting to put a coat on/ walking on bare feet while give you a virus.

I cannot believe people actually think like this.

There are a million things that can weaken your immune system but none of the will give you a cold because a cold is a virus transmitted through droplet particles not because your skin surface was a bit chilly/damp.

Christ on a bike please don't repeat your opinions as facts cause they simply aren't. I would literally die inside if someone I work with thought that but then I work in a hospital so they wouldn't.

How do you imagine people in scandanivian countries/Alaska/etc deal- are they just permanently sick with the "chills"? And how about people in hot countries- Africa/Asia have no issues with virus cause its warm and cosy? That is nonsense and you know it, viruses are not spread due to the temp of the surface of your skin.

The study of basic virology is really quite simple I studied it in high school. And never were we taught that not sticking a scarf on would give us a virus or an long walk home would give us a virus. Viruses are transmitted from other people. If I walk home in damp clothes I'll feel like crap and I'll be cold but that in itself will not have given me a virus.

Where is your struggle in making the connection that a weakened immune system can lead to illness? Yes its the virus that makes you sick. No one is saying otherwise.

But immune systems are weakened by various things. Including being freezing bloody cold due to not wrapping up well enough. So in a round about way, there are plenty of things that can cause you to developing a cold. As opposed to fighting off the virus without symptoms.

I feel I've said this about 40 times now and it's not getting through. So I give up.

If don't t believe us though, feel free to test your theory. Personally I'd rather take no chances and wrap up warm when there's am icy wind though.

If you get soaking wet and are freezing then your body diverts its resources to protecting your internal organs from that.

It can mean that your immune system is temporarily compromised and not working at full whack.

If you come into contact with a virus at the same time then you could be more susceptible to catching it.

But going out in the cold without a coat or getting wet doesn't automatically mean you will become ill. You would also have to come into contact with a virus. Otherwise, you'd just dry out and warm up.

Yes but we're always in contact with viruses. They are are all around. It is only our immune system that keeps us from picking up every one that's going.

So a bad nights sleep and a cold walk to work the next day could be the deciding factor on whether you catch that nasty bug going around at work or it skips right over you.

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/8925815/

Would now be the wrong time to mention that cold exposure can actually boost your immune system?
And I've walked round all my life with wet hair after washing it (thick, curly, hairdryers make it angry) and never caught a 'chill' despite my mum's dire warnings.

OP you do appear to be living with my teenage DD, that is a very bizarre way for a grown man to communicate. Would he consider couples counselling do you think?

Ok, regarding the side debate about how viruses are contracted, we live in a hot country, so having wet hair, walking around with no socks on and going out at night aren't going to make us either cold or wet enough for our immune system to catch a virus. He believes that DD not wearing a coat was the cause of her virus. As I previously said it's 23 degrees at night here. He truly believes that just by the things I suggested that you can get sick, not that it's an infection from another person, so whatever anyone is debating on here - he's just wrong. He also believes drinking cold water from the fridge in winter can give you a sore throat, so... Old wives tales are taken as medical science here.

Like, have you form for undermining him like that? I can see why he is mad How did I undermine him? Is telling someone that they're incorrect in what they're saying undermining them now? It was a conversation between us and his reaction was completely out of line for what was said.

Absolute bollocks. You can't catch flu from getting cold. You catch flu from coming into contact with the influenza virus 🙄🙄🙄

"I said there's no point in arguing and having a bad atmosphere over nothing and apparently I don't respect his opinions (😮 - it's a fact not an opinion; but anyway...) and told me to never speak to him in his life again and went on to block me, while next to me in bed, on WhatsApp, Facebook and Instagram."

Black soh here but I did laugh at this. What a rocket!

Yanbu. Obviously.

We've been together for 8 years. He's never blocked me on social media like a child before, but has had form in the past for childish behaviour. It seemed like over the years it was something that was improving, but after last night, I'm not so sure. He is still barely speaking to me today.

I did!

I think that's quite a stretch. If the same had been said to me I wouldn't have reacted like that. One person is behaving like a dick here and it isn't me. I'm a pretty good communicator, he has form for this kind of thing and not just with me. I've seen him behave in similar ways with his siblings. He is very defensive sometimes and other times not. He has a very low threshold for stress and behaves like a child when he has any stress in his life. You could have the same conversation with him at different times and get a completely different reaction.

Your post has described how I feel in a nutshell.

DD wasn't and isn't part of the conversation.

Why did you procreate with such a fuckwit? You know this the relationships board and not AIBU, right? Did you just type that to make me feel like shit? Well, he's actually her stepdad, so no I didn't.

You can only laugh really. Such knobbish behaviour!!

Absolute bollocks. You can't catch flu from getting cold. You catch flu from coming into contact with the influenza virus 🙄🙄🙄 I wish a virologist would come on this thread just to end all this nonsense 😂

OP came on here to get away from an argument with her husband, and to advice.

looks like the argument followed her. Oops 😂

Right?! 🤦🏽‍♀️😂

Where is your struggle in making the connection that a weakened immune system can lead to illness? Yes its the virus that makes you sick. No one is saying otherwise Actually the whole thread is about my DP saying otherwise.

Name change fail?