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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Did I make a mistake blocking him?

36 replies

MJdey4you · 16/05/2023 00:44

Guys, I have a question. I am so confused now. I blocked this guy and now I miss him so much and I think I made a mistake.

we met online and have been talking for 4 months, he’s the absolute sweetest and is everything I want but we’ve never met cuz he’s in another city. I was supposed to travel a month ago and told him about it and he said he’ll come see me so we can see before I leave the country. We have expressed our feelings for each other after a month of talking and have been acting like a couple since then.

but over the last 3 weeks things have been tough for us because he told me he can’t come anymore and now I’m starting to doubt he ever really liked me because if he did, he would make the 45mins flight to my city…it costs about $100.

since he told me this, I have been suspecting it is because he likes someone else so he doesn’t care about me anymore….

we speak everyday but he recently ghosted me for a week which was very unusual and he texted me a few days ago acting like everything was okay but I was just so pissed off cuz it felt like he was being nonchalant and I was not being treated like a priority so I didn’t bother giving him any explanation because he already knows how I feel about him not replying to my texts..so I blocked him

but now I feel like I made the wrong decision because I miss him so much. My friends think he’s been toying with me since it’s been 4 months and he hasn’t asked me to be his girlfriend. I dont know what to do

is it the distance that is making him this way? Should I unblock him? He hasn’t reached out and it’s been 3 days

OP posts:
MintyBinty · 16/05/2023 00:49

No don’t unblock. What for? It doesn’t look like this is going anywhere. Are you certain he isn’t in a relationship already? Sometimes guys like talking online but avoid actually meeting as they see it as crossing a line or whatever.

You blocked him for a reason. Focus your energy on finding someone more suitable who is closer by and willing to meet up with you in person.

Kinneddar · 16/05/2023 00:50

Should I unblock him? He hasn’t reached out and it’s been 3 days

Course he hasn't 'reached out' You blocked him. Damn sure I wouldn't try to contact someone who'd blocked me

MJdey4you · 16/05/2023 01:11

Well I don’t think he’s in a relationship because if he was I don’t think he’d dedicate as much time to me like he always did. We literally text every minute and video call for hours but these past 3 weeks feel different.

are you sure I’m not overthinking things and over Reacting?

OP posts:
MJdey4you · 16/05/2023 01:13

I just thought he’d reach out since he wronged me before I blocked him. I always tell him when I’m mad at him but this time I didn’t..I figured he will know because of what he did and call me to apologize but he hasn’t

OP posts:
InWalksBarberalla · 16/05/2023 01:17

I'd sad walk away - all sounds too hard. You've only known him for 4 months and you've already been mad at him multiple times.

suburbophobe · 16/05/2023 01:19

we’ve never met

Sorry OP.

You have no idea who someone is without meeting in real life.

Pinkbonbon · 16/05/2023 01:20

Why would someone who had never even met you, ask you to be his gf?

Have you video chatted with him? Do you even know he is a real person? He could be a scammer.

Pinkbonbon · 16/05/2023 01:24

MJdey4you · 16/05/2023 01:11

Well I don’t think he’s in a relationship because if he was I don’t think he’d dedicate as much time to me like he always did. We literally text every minute and video call for hours but these past 3 weeks feel different.

are you sure I’m not overthinking things and over Reacting?

Ah OK.

Why the chatting every minute then?
That's not very healthy is it?

Sounds like love bombing.
They make you fall hard and fast by never giving you a minute to yourself. Then often they start to blow cold. And if you pull them up on it you get denial or a lame excuse.

That asside, all this drama... relationships are jit supposed to be hard. They're supposed to be easy, supportive and drama free.

He wasn't a keeper. You're wise to block.

Pinkbonbon · 16/05/2023 01:27

Ps: in future, don't date love bombers, it's not healthy. They aren't good people.

Chatting for days on end with someone you've never met...or heck, anyone, is not healthy.

Usually these men are talking to more than one woman. To feed their ego. They aren't interested in meeting. They just want attention.

Watchkeys · 16/05/2023 01:29

This stuff doesn't happen in healthy relationships.

Greycloudlooming · 16/05/2023 01:35

Huh?
How old are you?
Of course he won’t ask you to be his girlfriend, he’s never seen you in real life. He has no idea who you are and you haven’t any idea who he is! Other than online communication, you’re total strangers.
Just keep him blocked and move on with your life. And for gods sake, don’t spend hours and hours of your precious life messaging a stranger and depending on them for your self worth and happiness.

Summer2424 · 16/05/2023 01:48

Hi @MJdey4you In the heat of the moment you blocked him and that's ok. Just unblock him.
Hope things workout for the best for you xx

Opentooffers · 16/05/2023 03:36

It is actually impossible to behave like a couple without meeting, so you have the wrong idea of what that entails - actually going out together, meeting each others friends and family etc. None of which you have done. Too much fantasy here, try someone nearer.

Mustardforest · 16/05/2023 04:15

OP it sounds like you need to touch some grass.

You blocked him so no, he can't reach out. Real life is not the online world. It's not sane or healthy as adults to ask someone to be their girlfriend after messaging for a while online. This isn't 2003 MSN.

So no, you also haven't been a couple or acting as such. Messaging 'good morning x' isn't the same as establishing yourself as a couple. Not sure how old you are, this is a naive stance.

porridgeisbae · 16/05/2023 04:23

I don't know how many people would date someone a flight away. $100 to meet someone for the first time is a lot.

He probably found a potential date/date more local to him.

WilkinsonM · 16/05/2023 04:25

What's the point in an online 'relationship' where you can't see each other regularly? $100 to visit each other isn't sustainable for a relationship is it!?
don't unblock him. Move on and don't emotionally invest again in someone you've never met in person and aren't likely to meet.

CurlewKate · 16/05/2023 04:31

@MJdey4you
"I always tell him when I'm mad at him."
How many times have you been mad at him in 4 months and what about?

IceStationHorse · 16/05/2023 05:36

Call the Catfish team!

GoodChat · 16/05/2023 05:47

How have you been acting like a couple of you've never met?

He could be anyone.

It's not going anywhere if you haven't met after 4 months.

ThickSkinnedSoWhat · 16/05/2023 06:23

MJdey4you · 16/05/2023 01:13

I just thought he’d reach out since he wronged me before I blocked him. I always tell him when I’m mad at him but this time I didn’t..I figured he will know because of what he did and call me to apologize but he hasn’t

I'm sorry, but if you are this much of a melt and over dramatic all the time then you won't hear from him

Tellmeimcrazy · 16/05/2023 06:26

Not a real relationship. Keep him blocked

larlypops · 16/05/2023 06:33

I’m in the UK but wouldn't be spending $100 and taking a flight everytime I wanna see you, effort works both ways and he may not have the funds but doesn’t want to say, he may have a busy work schedule who knows.

Also if he aired you then comes back like nothing happened then he’s losing/lost interest.

I wouldn’t be unblocking him

Catlord · 17/05/2023 17:02

You've never met and he lives miles away.
It's been a nice distraction for a bit but not real. Stay blocked, move on and if you want a relationship look for a real life one. Messaging etc is not being a couple as you don't know each other in person.

MsPavlichenko · 17/05/2023 17:04

No.

samestyle · 17/05/2023 17:05

Keep him blocked, the silence is because he's seeing someone else, you don't know the real him, throw away the fantasy and look for someone you can easily meet up with.

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