If you have friends who do not mostly only talk about men/dating/kids!! Where did you find these people?

[IsThereAnEchoInHere]

Please help!

I’m a woman, in my 30’s and I really need to find new friends.
So if tou have friends (women) who’s life don’t revolve around men/kids, where did you find them?

I don’t have any friends who only talk about men and kids. I mean sure they talk about them but they talk about a ton of other things.

My friends are friends because they have a broad range of interests. I would not be friends with someone with such a limited set of interests.

How are you meeting people who are so dull? It sounds like you (literally) need to get out more. Are you taking advantage of hobbies and interests groups?

Hobbies.
Make friends at hobbies and team sports.

Yes men and children will naturally crop up, but the focus will be on your shared interests.

I'm here OP 😄

A women’s running group. We talk and talk and try men/kids rarely come up.

I don’t know how it ends up happening.
If there is more than two us, one of them will mention something about men and/or kids and all of sudden that’s how the rest of the conversation will continue.

I prompt me to ask this, that just now I came from what is basically a walking group and it was all talk about spouses, how someone is single, friend is pregnant, someone they know is getting married…..
This group was me trying to find new people, perhaps friends. I joined few weeks ago.

Hi @IsThereAnEchoInHere

I have had a several friends like this only talk about mostly one subject or two, regard men or children ,

It starts to get boring if that's all the talk about mostly these two subjects isn't it...
So I get understand what you mean,

I sense that you want more meaningful depth conversations aswell as lighter subjects to talk about another words a mix

Similar to myself,

I think you need to look into interests(hobbies) that you may be curious about getting involved with in some way,

Could be a mix of interests you can do on your own or and on in a more sociable way too,

What kinds of interests hobbies have you got or curious about, think you will enjoy @IsThereAnEchoInHere ?

Also if you have any spare time?
doing any type of volunteering opportunities is another good way to meet new people too.

I think you need to have if you haven't,? to develop a childlike curiosity of your world , as be willing to get our of your comfort zone somewhat or a bit sometimes in a safe way obviously.

Be a bit of explorer , adventurer spirit, as it helps you to get out of being stuck in a rut, and makes life somewhat more interesting..

I do a lot of creative Arts activities which I love passionate about doing really beneficial for your emotional well being and fun and it's offers escapism from too much stress in life,
highly recommended,
wish I discovered how good Art really is, years ago...

Also being passionate about causes you care about whether it's animal welfare charties or environmental issues ect,

whatever it is,? consirder being with like-minded people sometimes or more often,who also share and passionate about same or similar causes as yourself or have similar values ...
Also good beneficial to try out new activities,new places entertainment wise ect

Also it's beneficial to get out and about and try out a mixture of activities like going to theatre seeing something unausaul for refreshing change or taking part in something else ect in a semi spontaneous way, have fun,
be confident about yourself you will soon attract new people into your life

They’re two fairly hefty topics to blacklist in your search for female friends in your thirties tbh. I can see why you want to be friends with interesting people if you aren’t already, but the overwhelming majority of people, interesting ones included, have relationships and families that they talk about a lot.

I have this problem, not friends but colleagues. Literally all they talk about is dieting, slimming world, weight, what they’re eating during the working day. I’ve taken to wearing air pods and listening to LBC all day at work.

You need to get into horses and then you won't ever have to talk about kids/husbands etc again 🤣 however literally all you will talk about to your new horse friends is horses but that's fine because they only want to talk about horses too.
Problem solved 😊

Go on meet-up and find a social group that's more blokes than women.

I’m laughing and I want to punch in the same time! Not an actual threath just so that you know! 😆

Believe you me, I know how horse people are, I was raised traumatized and neglected by one and I have sworn off horses!

If horses weren’t my mortal enemies, it would be perfect.

But thank you. I do appreciate you for trying to help👍🏻

Oh god I'm so sorry 😞 thank you for taking my comment in the spirit it was intended ie piss take/ ironic and not serious!
Does actually raise a serious point though, we are often way better with our horses than we are with other human beings 😔

@twistyizzy

It’s all absolute fine, you coudn’t know and it was obvious you were trying to help.
That’s all that counts, take care!

(Just remember that humans have feelings too 😉😇)

I'm 50s, my friends talk dogs, (training classes)football and martial arts 😆 growing older reluctantly 😂

University.

And friends with interesting careers. And lovely partners. So no need to "talk about men" because what is there to say? We tell funny anecdotes that just reconfirm they are who they are and then talk crazy stuff.

Admittedly when we were early 30s, pregnant, having babies, there was a lot of baby talk because it is life changing and it's all you do 24/7 for ages. But it doesn't last. Didn't really even last for second because you had some confidence that you might be able to keep this small human alive, without an instruction manual.

None of my friends are this boring.

At every stage of my life, if someone only wanted to talk about dating/relationships/men/kids, I knew they weren't someone I was interested in being friends with. So I just didn't make any effort to hang out with them or be part of their social circle.

Whereas if I met someone at a party or at work or through a friend who I found interesting, I'd make the effort to follow up, to see them again or make a beeline for them at the next party. And that's how I made a lot of lifelong friends.

Also, I hung out in a lot of places relevant to my interests: clubs, gigs, literary events, political campaign groups, groups for my particular sport. So I specifically met people who shared my passions rather than relying on situational friends that I just happened to be in the same place as.

I think 'a few weeks' may be the problem? You barely know these people so inevitably the conversation is mostly about things that they consider of general interest. Give it time, keep talking.

Maybe join a political group of some kind? Or a nonfiction book club?

So true 😂😂

Oops meant to quote the person who said get into horses and all you will talk about again is horses.

Partners and kids are common, relatable subjects. People need to bond before opening up to other subjects. I mean I wouldn't launch into talking about "the little boats" or the Ukraine invasion until I had known someone a while.

Out of interest OP do you have a partner and kids?

I cold water swim and my group of friends I’ve met through that talk about a whole host of things.
Our conversations are fun, supportive and loving. Yes at times we do discussed husbands and kids but that just common parlance of being in relationship with people in relationships.
I also am friends with women from a spiritual group and generally we focus on ourselves, our thoughts, philosophy and life focus etc, but again even there kids and spouses do come up in conversation.
Find a group of women doing something that sparks your interest and see where the conversation goes.
I get where you’re coming from, as I don’t want to stand around and chat about banal things such as tv shows etc… so I made a big effort to find friends who didn’t, but I had to put myself out there.

Only if you have partners or kids surely?

Your perspective assumes that there are “approved” gateway conversations (partners and kids) and anything more meaty is rude.

I find that really problematic:

1. Because it immediately puts anyone who is single or child free in an awkward and difficult category as a second class citizen
2. Because it assumes it’s rude to talk about anything of real substance. I really struggle with the idea that you have to stick to bland and boring conversations until you know someone well. I think there’s a bit of misogyny here too. It’s only women who are required to keep to nice safe topics
3. I’m not interested in other people’s partners and kids unless I know them well. I find the topic dull and would rather talk about their politics

I had colleagues like this...always going on about their kids and partners.

It becomes incredibly boring when someone does not have any kind of interests/hobbies/passion beyond the domestic or views on what is happening in the world.

You have had some good suggestions about joining in activity groups.

''@crossstitchingnana · Today 08:27
Partners and kids are common, relatable subjects. People need to bond before opening up to other subjects. I mean I wouldn't launch into talking about "the little boats" or the Ukraine invasion until I had known someone a while.

Out of interest OP do you have a partner and kids?''

I disagree.

You assume that everyone you are talking to has a partner, kids or is interested in sharing their personal life with you...

The point is that won't apply to many people and there are many other subjects that you can bond over.

What do you talk about?