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Original poster

What would you make of this comment?

38 replies

MamaBear9420 · 13/05/2023 12:24

So my partner always tells me he finds me really attractive and I appreciate that and we’ve been through some bad patches but last night he said, I really find you attractive, this is why I can’t leave you if I was to get horny I would always think of you. As for your personality I would’ve left a long time ago.

He reassure he loves me and cares for me and also says he is with me because I’m reasonable and etc but that comment threw me off..

OP posts:
sunshineandtea · 13/05/2023 12:25

He's a twat

WaxingGibbon · 13/05/2023 12:25

I'd have asked him to explain what he meant by that

BodyKeepingScore · 13/05/2023 12:25

I would take it that he's still very attracted to you and I'm sure he didn't mean it's literally the only reason he's stayed with you. Not an issue IMO.

MrsSkylerWhite · 13/05/2023 12:26

So he only wants you for sex?
Goodbye, twat.

RunningFromInsanity · 13/05/2023 12:28

BodyKeepingScore · 13/05/2023 12:25

I would take it that he's still very attracted to you and I'm sure he didn't mean it's literally the only reason he's stayed with you. Not an issue IMO.

Its not an issue if your partner says ’As for your personality I would’ve left a long time ago.’ ??

Basically he’s only with you because you’re a pretty fuck.

CuriousMama · 13/05/2023 12:29

Eh? Mad.

Willmafrockfit · 13/05/2023 12:31

that is horrible
tough luck to him i would say on parting

randomuser2019 · 13/05/2023 12:32

This reply has been withdrawn

Removed at poster's request due to privacy concerns.

Muppetshair · 13/05/2023 12:33

MamaBear9420 · 13/05/2023 12:24

So my partner always tells me he finds me really attractive and I appreciate that and we’ve been through some bad patches but last night he said, I really find you attractive, this is why I can’t leave you if I was to get horny I would always think of you. As for your personality I would’ve left a long time ago.

He reassure he loves me and cares for me and also says he is with me because I’m reasonable and etc but that comment threw me off..

but that comment threw me off..

Of course it did. It was supposed to destabilise you (as it would anyone).

Have you recently had a baby?

Is he setting some sort of physical standard you need to maintain?

Original poster
MamaBear9420 · 13/05/2023 12:34

I’m just afraid if I bring it up to him his response 100% would be “you think I’m only with you for the sex? Wow, you can get that anywhere you’re telling me I can’t find pretty girls to sleep with. I’m with you because I love you. You think I would still be here if it was about the sex we don’t even have sex often I hardly get it” something along them lines.

OP posts:
Wishimaywishimight · 13/05/2023 12:34

He's just absolutely savaged your personality! If you accept this you are telling him he can say all manner of nasty things to you. He's happy to shag you though, hardly a recipe for a healthy relationship.

I could not stay with someone who said this to me. This is not love.

Original poster
MamaBear9420 · 13/05/2023 12:36

He doesn’t tell me to maintain a weight or look tbf. I do look like a slob I feel most days but he will still compliment me and when I tell him I feel like I’m not even trying and look like a slob he will be like that’s the thing you don’t need to try you’re just sexy you don’t even have to try which is the problem and I’m so attracted to you

OP posts:
PollyThePixie · 13/05/2023 12:36

MamaBear9420 · 13/05/2023 12:34

I’m just afraid if I bring it up to him his response 100% would be “you think I’m only with you for the sex? Wow, you can get that anywhere you’re telling me I can’t find pretty girls to sleep with. I’m with you because I love you. You think I would still be here if it was about the sex we don’t even have sex often I hardly get it” something along them lines.

Op, it sounds like very hard work full stop.

Original poster
MamaBear9420 · 13/05/2023 12:36

We have a 10 month old baby

OP posts:
PollyThePixie · 13/05/2023 12:39

And I think you know deep down inside that he doesn’t like you very much. You don’t deserve what he’s said and it would be the end for me - it’s very similar to someone saying - I love you but I don’t like you. You deserve better.

custardbear · 13/05/2023 12:41

What do you think of him?

PollyThePixie · 13/05/2023 12:41

MamaBear9420 · 13/05/2023 12:36

We have a 10 month old baby

Im so sorry. Honestly. Hopefully other people will be able to help you think about what comes next.

Bagsundermyeyestoday · 13/05/2023 12:41

Charming Hmm Dump, and move on

Original poster
MamaBear9420 · 13/05/2023 12:43

I’ve never had a healthy relationship, so don’t know how one is supposed to look like and I’m really struggling. I think I keep staying because this is the most safest I’ve been in my whole life.

OP posts:
SkiingIsHeaven · 13/05/2023 13:08

Was it a joke? Some jokes just don't land.

Original poster
MamaBear9420 · 13/05/2023 13:11

No one laughed, wasn’t said in a jokey way was said during an intimate moment

OP posts:
Goodread1 · 13/05/2023 13:17

I think he is extremely insecure @MamaBear9420

He can't handle this, aspect of himself so he needs to confuse you by coming out with inappropriate Fuck wit Twat comments, that destabilise you emotionally,

make you feel out of sorts. !

Do yourself a massive favour , throw this one back in the 🌊 sea as soon as possible ok. !

You are way way far too good for him and he knows this fact too. !

ChristmasFluff · 13/05/2023 15:35

He's 'negging' you. Total beta male behaviour. If you can be arsed, give him one chance. Google it, let him know you know what he's up to and tell him to step up and start acting alpha (backing his woman, supporting her, uplifting her) or you are out.

You are entirely reasonable to dump him though, for showing what a manipulative arse he is.

For the sake of your child- whichever sex - if not for you..

Thighdentitycrisis · 13/05/2023 15:43

If he says your attractiveness is the problem then it implies he wants to leave you because he doesn’t like you much,but is too lazy to try and find another relationship

I would be insulted by this

CaroleSinger · 13/05/2023 15:51

He's telling you that you have no personality. That seems quite obvious? It's what you do with that knowledge from here. Are you happy being with someone who openly tells you that you lack personality?