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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Boyfriends best mate

64 replies

LouLo2121 · 12/05/2023 15:45

Recently set my boyfriends best mate up on a date with one of my close friends. Naturally myself/boyfriend were brought up on the date in conservation. My boyfriends best friend then decided to casually drop into the conversation, that i need a good seeing too....

It took her about 2 weeks to mention it to me as she felt really awkward and didn't want to cause any tension between us all.

I'm really annoyed, but don't know what to make of the comment.... thoughts?

OP posts:

Muppetshair · 13/05/2023 12:28

He’s bitter that you have his best mate and your lives are moving along.

He is jealous of your BF.

Lots of resentment bubbling under the false surface of this insecure, nasty, objectifying, misogynistic ‘frenemy’ - no wonder he is alone.

Swerve.

Original poster

LouLo2121 · 13/05/2023 12:39

@Muppetshair agreed!!

OP posts:

Tulip2478 · 13/05/2023 12:42

Shapemyeyebrows · 12/05/2023 21:09

@LouLo2121 heard that expression a lot in the workplace and it’s only ever been used in the context where they think about someone is uptight. Sounds like he thinks you need to loosen up a bit and was making a bad joke about it.

Iv only ever heard it as the opposite, as in the person who says it wants to sleep with that person. Either way it's disrespectful coming from her partner's friend.

SunflowerTed · 13/05/2023 16:07

ItsCalledAConversation · 12/05/2023 16:19

I don’t think it meant he fancied you OP. Saying that usually means you need a good shagging, ie you’ve got a broom handle up your arse and need to relax. And have more fun in life.

This is my thought. Maybe he thinks you need to loosen up?

Shapemyeyebrows · 13/05/2023 16:08

@Tulip2478 in my circles its the “she needs” bit that means the person in question needs a good seeing to, to chill out/put a smile on her face. Maybe it’s interpreted differently in different areas 🤷‍♀️ Either way though, like you say it wasn’t great whichever way he meant it 😬

billy1966 · 13/05/2023 18:42

Muppetshair · 13/05/2023 12:28

He’s bitter that you have his best mate and your lives are moving along.

He is jealous of your BF.

Lots of resentment bubbling under the false surface of this insecure, nasty, objectifying, misogynistic ‘frenemy’ - no wonder he is alone.

Swerve.

This.

Your friend was correct to avoid him.

I would be avoiding him as well.

Pull well back.

He's ugly, nasty, jealous and two faced.

He doesn't wish you and your boyfriend well.

Step back from him.

You do not want someone like him in your close circle.

Be clear with your boyfriend on this.

He can see him on his own, away from your home.

perfectcolourfound · 13/05/2023 19:05

Where I'm from that's a crass way of saying someone is uptight (usually a woman). It's a grim thing to say, however he meant it. The fact he comments on your figure is grim as well - why does he think you'd be interested in his views on your figure?

And what sort of idiot says that on a date? He manged to insult you and his date.

He's clearly not very bright. She dodged a bullet. I'd be staying out of his way.

altmember · 13/05/2023 19:09

Tulip2478 · 13/05/2023 12:42

Iv only ever heard it as the opposite, as in the person who says it wants to sleep with that person. Either way it's disrespectful coming from her partner's friend.

Show quote history

There's a big difference in meaning between "She needs..." vs "I'd give her..."

If the OP's friend is certain it was the former then it sounds like he was calling OP uptight, sexually frustrated, or frigid. Regardless, it's an inappropriate comment to make when on a date, and really stupid to say it knowing that they're friends.

There is a chance he's got that impression about the OP due to conversations he's had with her bf.

Irridescantshimmmer · 13/05/2023 19:16

He's a cheeky so and so.

Starseeking · 13/05/2023 19:24

It sounds like he thinks you are uptight, and need a good sex session to loosen you up.

It was an incredibly crass, and rude thing to say to your friend, and even more so that he expected her to laugh along.

It's odd that your boyfriend hasn't noticed that his friend has some "interesting" views; I'd wonder how close they are, and how they interact when together.

Tulip2478 · 13/05/2023 19:27

altmember · 13/05/2023 19:09

There's a big difference in meaning between "She needs..." vs "I'd give her..."

There is a chance he's got that impression about the OP due to conversations he's had with her bf.

Show quote history

Like I said iv heard 'needs' when meant they want to do something sexual. But as most people on here are saying the opposite of what iv experienced I must be in the minority.

Beaverbridge · 13/05/2023 20:23

He sounds like an arsehole.

LysHastighed · 13/05/2023 20:26

Now you know why he’s single

JMSA · 13/05/2023 20:36

Yuk. I think he probably means that he finds you uptight. What a dickhead though.

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