I’ve name changed as I don’t want this linked to my other posts.
I’m not sure which section this belongs in really.
Yet another extended family member has looked down at me. Our extended families are all quite well off, we are not. This was never a problem for me (in the sense of comparisons) because I am a grateful for what I have kind of person. This seemed ok by some of the extended family BEFORE we had DC. We are not broke, we can afford everything our children need. They have clothes, toys, go on school trips, well fed etc. They have everything they need. What we don’t have is extra money for house renovations, cleaners, savings and exotic holidays. Our extended family are able to do all of those things, and since we have had DC, family tell us straight that our DC ‘deserve better’. We have been told that we ‘should make ourselves a success like them’ and they tell us we are cruel because our DC are deprived of the finer things in life, ‘think of the kids’. They look at us like we are scum because we buy our clothes in Asda and don’t own the latest and greatest things. My contentment in my life is starting to fade away. My husband works hard. I have chronic long term illnesses that I’ve long given up explaining to them, as they don’t try to understand them at all. I feel ill and exhausted most of the time, but they have made up their minds it’s laziness. They seem to forget how hard I worked before my illnesses. Everything is a struggle now so I can do less, but it takes as much effort as when I was working full time. The message is constant that they see us as failures, and it hurts so much. I hate the way they look at us, the way they patronise us and the way they treat us as less than. I don’t know how to stop myself internalising all of this. I think love is more important than fancy holidays, but maybe that isn’t enough in this modern world? Would you look down on me?