I’m pretty sure my husband is sexually abusing me :( There’s no intimacy at all between us. No kissing, no affection, he just wants to turn me over and effectively he masterbates using my vagina. If I say “no” he gets angry and then gives me the silent treatment. Sometimes he waits until I’m asleep and I wake up and he’s inside me. He’s become quite aggressive during sex and there’s lots of grabbing, holding down, forcing and smacking - I hate it so much. He holds my head into the pillow and I just cry. I haven’t discussed with anyone else, I just can’t believe it’s happening to me and I’m not sure what to do about it. Just to add that he never used to be like this, he used to be really loving caring and affectionate and we used to have a great sex life. My husband has been drinking every day for the last three years and he has got progressively worse and more aggressive sexually as time goes on. If he has rum in the evening he becomes ‘rapey’. But also he struggles to maintain an erection so sometimes these episodes go on for two hours, sometimes more. This is pretty much a daily occurrence. I try to avoid bedtime at the same time as him if he has had a lot to drink as I know I could be in for a bit of a rough night so I go to bed wearing my “anti rape” nightwear. I wear my underwear,
with cycling shorts over them and a swimming costume over the top (so he can’t get his hands or penis in) and then an additional T-shirt over the top. I know this sounds crazy but I have had some really horrible experiences. It’s like he turns into a different person at night, Jekyll and Hyde, sexual predator. I have tried to bring it up in the day but he won’t listen. I just don’t know what to do about it. If anyone had any advice it would be greatly appreciated. Thank you :(