Mil giving me her old used bras.

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Hi all need peoples opinions on this..
So when I was early on in my pregnancy my ex mil rang me we were having a conversation about my pregnancy I mentioned that my bras were getting tighter now. Then 2 days later she knocked at our door my ex partner was in the shower she came in and handed me her old used bras in a sandwich bag. I was lost for words she put them on the bench I didn’t know what to say. I felt like she was trying to offend me in some way in no way did I try and make out that I needed her to bring me a bra because mine were getting tight. I found this very weird. A year and a half later I’ve realised how toxic she is she doesn’t bother with my child and just likes to play little games.
Any one’s opinions on this?

It was super fucking weird of her but hardly offensive.

Side note - my bras would need a freezer bag.

You can sell them on eBay

PMSL @FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee - mine too! 😂😂😂

Do you still have the bras? If you do, the Against Breast Cancer has a recycling process that might be of use to you:

Just weird! If she is toxic probably best to keep future conversations bland and don’t divulge any personal information.

It was just misplaced "help" by a clumsy woman. Hilarious really; you'll laugh about this long after she's dead and gone.

A touch weird but I imagine she thought she was doing you a favour. Instead of you needing to buy new bras that you'll only wear for a number of months you can use those.
Second hand bras aren't the same as second hand knickers.
If you don't want them google smalls for all and donate them to a woman in need 👍🏼

I had someone give me an old paper lampshade once, because I had them in most rooms in my house. It was covered in dust and had a hole in it!
I was too gobsmacked to say no thanks, but they went straight in the bin.

Weird that you are still giving this headspace 18 months later tbh.

I would have just binned them and not given it a second thought.

If someone you loved dearly did the same thing it would be sweet - but misguided.

Someone you don't like / don't have a great relationship with, you can assign negative intentions to.

Scenarios can, and will, be twisted to suit the narrative.

If you were close enough to be discussing too-tight-bras with ex-MIL, then I'm not sure she was all that toxic (at the time) so I wouldn't be rushing to disparage her for it. It sounds misguided to me.

I think you're looking back with the opposite of 'rose coloured glasses' IYSWIM

Is it worth even thinking about if it was 1.5 years ago?

It’s not something I’d do but when I was pregnant my husbands SIL and my husband’s friends wife both sent me their used nursing bras 🤷🏻‍♀️

They definitely weren’t being nasty so I think she didn’t mean anything by it.

It's the kind of thing my MIL would have done (sadly deceased) thinking she was helping you out. I think it was meant in good faith although it does seem super odd

That's hilarious! Lean into it - next time ask her if she wouldn't mind also giving you the matching knickers.

I’m in the weird but not offensive camp.

My MIL gifted me 25 year old crotchless American Tan tights when I was pregnant with my first, to air my vagina (pronounced vajeeena) because she’d been prone to thrush “like cottage cheese” when she was pregnant.

Fancy that!

This was a formal woman who never gave me permission to call her by her first name.

That's hideous! I just used those bra extender things lol 😆

Useful if you grow melons.

We had a young female relative pass away and their mother came round to me with a hold-all of stuff she thought I might like.

It contained satin bras and knickers, peephole stuff, sexy dress up ensembles, furry handcuffs, ‘naughty’ DVDs and massage oil, lube, the whole shebang.

She’s pretty prudish generally so I was most perplexed about why she’d think that was the move. Maybe grief. I just said thanks for thinking of me and binned it all once she’d gone.

Some people do have funny ideas. Maybe MIL thought it’d save you a few quid as a short-term measure, obviously not everyone has the ick off second hand undies.

Since this was well over a year ago, I wouldn't be concerned. I had a friend who dumped maternity bras on me - she had four children so 20 at least, all manky. They were given to a charity which could clean and reprocess the best. I did think it odd but wasn't concerned.

😂😂
Yes, this is what you should've done!

But yeah, I think it was weird misplaced helpfulness but not offensive.

Why are you even still thinking about this? Sure, it was weird but she probably thought it was helpful. You’ve clearly already decided she is toxic so 🤷🏼‍♀️

This act sounds clumsy but caring. Doesn’t seem like a game, or anything toxic, at all

I’m sorry this is hilarious 😂

You have however triggered a memory in me.
I was 15 and my then (first) boyfriend’s mum gifted me a pair of knickers she couldn’t fit into anymore.
She was a very, very large lady and said I was the only person she knew would fit into them.
They were used.

Honestly, I wish I’d been given a bra instead.

I think your mil was trying to be thoughtful and thinking since you’d only need something less tight for a while, then you wouldn’t have to buy anything and you’d save money. Bringing them in a plastic bag, so what?

Not sure why you think that’s toxic and why you’re making a big deal out of it a year and a half later.

You didn’t give any examples of her being toxic. She may keep her distance from you and your child simply because you better believe people can pick up when someone despises them. I’m sure she knows how you feel about her.

Meant to say I agreed with the comment that I quoted.

I'd think she was just being kind. Misplaced perhaps but still trying to be kind.

On what you've said so far this sounds like a you problem, not a MIL problem.

If you don't like the idea of using someone else's bras - you thank them politely, stick them at the back of a cupboard and then donate/bin do whatever with them, or hand them back after pregnancy.

Well I think it is weird. Considering I have my own mother if I ever needed a bra ( which I didn’t ) which she knew. And why would you want to be wearing your mils bra when your with there son , he wasn’t happy about this. It is weird behaviour