Neighbour assaulted me, how do I handle this

[myneighbourhell]

TLDR: My neighbour is a nightmare and attacked me for asking her to move her massive amount of debris from the communal hall. Should I report this along with all her other activities that break her contract and try to get her evicted?

Hi all, I've been having a few problems with my neighbour since she moved in. There are three flats on our floor: mine, and she has the other two (one of hers is more of a workspace that she also lives in). Her stuff has been taking over the communal hall spaces, and she treats it like she has the whole floor to herself (we rent). This is a symptom of her general superiority complex. There are massive planks of wood and other debris that have been there for over a year, which build up and at times has made it difficult to get down the stairs. She also makes a mess all up and down the stairs - at one point I was treading glitter into my carpet for weeks. She even asked to make (unauthorised) modifications to my apartment because she didn't like the sound of the building's air ventilation system and wanted me to get her dodgy mate it to create a switch to turn it off at night so she could sleep better. I refused, not wanting to lose my deposit, and she got shirty.

She is impossible to even make polite requests to, as she has a very borderline type personality - I don't mean to be offensive, but it's a fact that she has a massive but fragile ego and takes any kind of request very personally, starts on the offensive, gets accusatory and aggressive, can't stand to be in the wrong and turns herself into the victim (she said I needed to ask her more nicely as I was too 'moralistic' - lol!)

I've been a bit of a pushover because I don't like confrontation, and the place I live in is very social and political. Everyone knows each other, so if I fall out with her I'm worried about the repercussions. Frankly though, I've now had enough. I came back from a work trip a few days ago and found her stuff creeping up towards my door. I politely but firmly asked her to move it and it ended up with the usual excuses and making herself into the victim, until I said I would move it for her, at which she said 'If you try that you will regret it'. This was done over Whatsapp, so at that point I knocked on her door, and she came out and launched into a physical attack. I didn't retaliate as I frankly won't lower myself to get into physical scraps with other women, but I yelled at her to get off and she now, funnily enough, seems quite intimidated as she wasn't expecting that and she ran off and locked herself in her flat! I said I was going to the police. I've emailed my local police officer and the landlord to ask them to tell her to move her things, as she has no contractual rights to keep her stuff in the communal spaces. My question is, should I try to get her evicted by reporting all of the things she has been doing which break her residential contract? These things are:

• subletting her apartment
• making renovations without asking permission, including this switch which tampers with the air ventilation system
• living in the studio which is not rented as a residential space but as a workspace.
• keeping mountains of her stuff in the public hall
• having late night parties which use the communal space and only informing neighbours at the last minute, also going on later than has been agreed for weeknights.

I fear that if I get her evicted others will turn on me, and whilst I'm kind of past the point of caring and want to move anyway, I have a very low income and the rent here is cheap, not sure I could afford to move anywhere else any time soon. The landlord is also an asshole who I have had problems with in the past, so I don't know if he will even do anything.

Report the assault to the police, and tell your landlord she physically attacked you.

Tell your landlord about the stuff in the hallways, that she's impacting clear exit which is against fire regs.

That should sort the current issue.

Don't bring up the other stuff - you'll look petty because you didn't bother before, but DO report anything further.

Can you not report her to the council if she's clogging up fire exit routes? Or the landlord for not stopping it?

So, the landlord is the local council. I live in Western Europe and the guy who manages the space is really corrupt. I had a run in with him before when I complained about the water turning brown and he didn't get it fixed for months. I have zero confidence in the local council, therefore, they just want out rent cheques. Point taken about not wanting to sound petty, but I'd kind of like her gone. I've already emailed the local bobby and the landlord about the debris and the assault. Pretty sure neither will care, but we'll see.

Of course you report this. Not only to the police but to your local council's fire safety department. No way will it be permitted for communal fire escape routes to be obstructed.

Just shove all her crap outside..

This is what it looks like AFTER she's moved some things out of the way, but she has point blank refused to move any more.

Exactly this ^ , but directly to the Fire and Rescue Service. I find that they not only take their responsibilities very seriously, but attend quickly and have substantial powers. Local authorities mostly utterly useless. I would also refer this woman to Social Services as this will help with multi agency involvement should the situation deteriorate further

That's my plan if the landlord or police don't do anything, so at least I can say I've tried the 'official' way first. The problem is, I live in apartments where lots of people are just as irresponsible as her, have mountains of trash they keep outside their flats etc, so I'll probably be seen as a 'grass'.

I would lose my* at that mess in the hallway. I'd move it to right outside her front door and if she couldn't get out - oh well 😂

Where are the doors in relation to that photo? Is it actually blocking access or is that just a dead area?

Yeah, I had a similar thought! I'm actually not scared of her - well, not physically although she's very manipulative and likely to try and twist things. If anything I am a bit scared that if she attacks me again I'll lose my shit and really hurt her and get in trouble - we're at the top of a flight of stairs, and I've had fantasies of grabbing hold of her hair and smashing her head against the wall. Very unlike me, but if she physically attacks me again I feel like I might lose my temper and really damage her. I can only take so much and she's been such an undermining, selfish asshole towards me for so long now.

I'm looking down on that landing from where our apartments are. What you are seeing is the landing between two flights of stairs.

So the staircase is at the back left?

So I have to walk past all of that every time I go outside, as we're on the top floor. I travel a lot for work with cases and have to navigate around it, definitely blocking a fire exit. We also have rodents, so probably not a good idea to have all this debris lying about. Also partially blocking the communal sink and window.

No, from where I am standing you go down the stairs to get to that landing on the left, then further stairs going down on the right hand side.

I know you said you are not in the UK, but could the fire brigade do a ‘random’ check and declare it unfit if access routes are blocked? This would probably work in the UK, not sure about other countries.

If someone assaulted me, my first reaction would be to call the police. Is there a reason why you chose not to do that? Also, in most countries the fire service would lose their absolute shit over all that junk creating a fire hazard and an obstruction.

I can look into it. The previous property manager from the council used to tell people to move their stuff from the communal spaces and was quite strict about it, the current one is useless and doesn't give a shit. Here's a picture with the staircases and also a bunch of her stuff outside her door which often creeps up towards my door until I push it back or ask her to move it.

You need some wombles.

Report assault and ring local fire station and write to landlord or leaseholders responsible for the communal areas.

That’s awful. It must be a fire risk in itself, but also blocking your access/ escape route. If your landlord is useless then it’s (maybe) a way of sorting it. Not all countries have the same health and safety standards though.

I went straight to the local police station about 3 minutes walk away, which is easier than calling as I don't speak the language very well. They didn't seem very bothered, asked if I was harmed and told me that I probably wouldn't have a case against her, but gave me the contact details of the local police officer. I've contacted him by email and asked for his advice and if he can tell her to move her stuff. I have very little confidence in the authorities here, frankly, and the people I live amongst are also scummy and have made me feel like I don't have any ways in which to assert myself.

By definition people with any kind of personality disorders have trouble taking responsibility for their actions, behaviour, emotions. That is the nature of personality disorders. From that point of view you need to take your neighbour out of the loop for how to deal with this. She will project her responsibilities for everything onto you/the council/the police.

Keep everything documented speak to council, police whomever and get outside involvement.

I will say however that I would be looking for a way out myself too. You cannot control people like your neighbour, you obviously cannot control how others council/police will view the situation so plan B has to be keeping your own sanity and getting out to a better environment yourself if needs be.

I went straight to the local police station about 3 minutes walk away, which is easier than calling as I don't speak the language very well.

You need to keep this is writing too.

Thanks, Honeyboomboom, I know all too well everything you are saying is true. I've blocked her from Whatsapp and intend to document everything and complain officially from now on. I do need to move out of here, but money is tight and my work is very insecure, I'm in a precarious situation.

I think you need to back off the thought if you report she will be evicted, it is hugely unlikely to work like that. She will prob at most be told to move her stuff and will simply deny the rest and say you’re the issue. She will likely also then report you back for some made up similar shit. Say you attacked her, you have loud parties etc. neither of you can prove the other is lying. So I’d think carefully.