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Original poster

Matched on tinder, whatsapping all evening but he's unmatched with me ...

65 replies

justacabsauv · 28/04/2023 21:02

WTF?
Is this normal ?
We've arranged a date for Sunday.
Whatsapping all evening.
Very kind and complimentary about other photos ... clean .
But he's unmatched me on the site we got chatting on?
Still chatting on what's app ...
Is this odd ?

OP posts:
GonnaGetGoingReturns · 29/04/2023 19:24

Pinkbonbon · 29/04/2023 11:45

You don't need to tell them. It's not their business. But worse it would make it sound like you expect them to compete over You.

Show quote history

The one man I wanted a date was taking ages re that and even swapping numbers until I was blunt with him, so that’s a partly why I told him I was messaging others. I’m aware it could’ve made him think he needed to compete with them over me but sometimes it’s not a bad thing. In his case, we’ve got a date on Monday so let’s see how that goes!

The other two, of course I wouldn’t tell them about other dates/men I’m messaging.

DivorcedAndDelighted · 29/04/2023 19:36

I think mentioning a high sex drive early on is sensible as it's a major axis of compatibility, so if that turns you off, better to know sooner than later. None of this would worry me, but I agree with PP that you shouldn't think too much about this until you've actually met. This article is related...
www.drpsychmom.com/2019/09/14/why-do-all-my-dating-relationships-fizzle-out-after-a-couple-of-dates/

DivorcedAndDelighted · 29/04/2023 19:43

Found these bookmarks which I was looking for earlier - they're from Dr Psych Mom, a couples counsellor who's very witty and doesn't beat around the bush:

Article about Why To Ask Personal Questions On Your First Date

podcast about whether you should say you like sex in your dating profile.

Pinkbonbon · 29/04/2023 19:51

DivorcedAndDelighted · 29/04/2023 19:36

I think mentioning a high sex drive early on is sensible as it's a major axis of compatibility, so if that turns you off, better to know sooner than later. None of this would worry me, but I agree with PP that you shouldn't think too much about this until you've actually met. This article is related...
www.drpsychmom.com/2019/09/14/why-do-all-my-dating-relationships-fizzle-out-after-a-couple-of-dates/

After a few dates, sure.

Not before you've even met them.

Original poster
justacabsauv · 29/04/2023 20:50

He's just messaged to cancel tomorrow when he realised he'd have to travel for an hour to meet me.
Said it was too much of a journey for a coffee...
I'm absolutely flabbergasted at the entitlement and arrogance of it all.

So I asked him what had changed as he was all into it last night ... he said he got a text from a n old school friend who lives in his village so it would be more suitable that he wouldn't need to travel .

So I thanked him for doing me a favour and not wasting anymore of my time .

I'm kind of half laughing here as il actually shocked 😂

OP posts:
SophiaElizabethGrace · 29/04/2023 21:03

He's a dick isn't he? I'm sorry for you but I kinda figured that's what he'd do (as per my previous post). He presumably liked the attention , wanted more of a booty call type thing/sex and when it was clear he wasn't getting either couldn't be arsed to travel. Twat

Thisisworsethananticpated · 29/04/2023 22:05

I told him that sleaze ruined it all for me in exchanges so let's not go there

aha , he did his ‘will my dick get fucked’ risk assessment for the date
And realised that he probably wouldn’t
ergo - cancelled

onwards OP , this shit happens x

Original poster
justacabsauv · 29/04/2023 22:13

I remember once reading on here, many years ago .... that men will always reveal themselves ... always and normally early on.
I remember reading that thinking ... of course they do , we all do ....
But when I really thought about it and reflected on some shit that happened to me , it is utterly the truth .
In retrospect, he dropped the whole... I've a high drive thing.... this was after he's announced that the calibre of men on the app were sub standard .

He then proceeded to tell me in five occasions throughout our exchanges that he was open minded and finally his last message last night was ....
' quick q ... how would you spice things up in the bedroom...' which I ignored and ignored him until I got the ... you're too far away to be worth a coffee to me, text...

Jesus .

OP posts:
DivorcedAndDelighted · 30/04/2023 07:22

Oh dear OP, sorry to hear he messed you about but hopefully will look back and laugh about this one.
You're right that people do reveal themselves, and it saves us all wasting time if we listen.

TulipsandButterflies · 30/04/2023 07:40

Open another Tinder account and have a look for him.

TulipsandButterflies · 30/04/2023 07:44

justacabsauv · 28/04/2023 21:49

Well I just asked him because I'm annoyed ... or something 🤷🏻‍♀️
I follow a lot of posters on here and appreciate all the comments and advice . I've really shored up my boundaries over the last two years and delete when things get inappropriate and uncomfortable .
I'm only back in the scene.
I delete regularly which is new for me because I used to always give people
The benefit of the doubt .

Earlier , he told me that he has a high drive , didn't want to be rude or inappropriate or sleazy ( it was in context) but this was what he felt .
I told him that sleaze ruined it all for me in exchanges so let's not go there and he immediately was apologetic but was straight at the same time , which I appreciate tbh . It was more factual than sleazy.

He has just text to say he had paused his account this evening because he finds it all too much and has enjoyed our exchanges.
He has also asked if I am
Interested I the man who has text me .
Where to now ? Is he full of shit?

You don’t lose your matches if you pause your account.

Thisisworsethananticpated · 30/04/2023 09:53

Open another Tinder account and have a look for him

why !!! If he’s that much of a worry / and not met properly better to discard and not waste precious energy

SophiaElizabethGrace · 30/04/2023 10:23

TulipsandButterflies · 30/04/2023 07:40

Open another Tinder account and have a look for him.

Why?

Why on earth would you suggest that?

Fishpieandchips · 30/04/2023 10:37

If you are having to ask questions as to why on mumsnet or any other forum, the answer is, you know its not right. Trust your gut.
Looks like a lucky escape.

From personal experience, I don't think there are any decent men out there. As I get older, I get more and more cynical though!

gerbilcrocus · 30/04/2023 18:08

TulipsandButterflies · 30/04/2023 07:40

Open another Tinder account and have a look for him.

Yes, be that desperate weird stalker OP! Hmm

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