Matched on tinder, whatsapping all evening but he's unmatched with me ...

[justacabsauv]

WTF?
Is this normal ?
We've arranged a date for Sunday.
Whatsapping all evening.
Very kind and complimentary about other photos ... clean .
But he's unmatched me on the site we got chatting on?
Still chatting on what's app ...
Is this odd ?

I did a fair bit of tinder dating. Not once did sex get mentioned before a first meet up. The assumption for me is that we’d see if we even liked each other’s company before going there. I’d give this one a swerve if I was you.

I think you need to meet him and go from there. All this analysing before you are even dating takes up too much time and energy.

Just seen the comments he made about having a high sex drive. I’d now give dating him a miss.

Sounds like a creep mentioning his high drive right away and possibly married.

1. whanging on about a high sex drive
2. prurient questions about other men you might be talking to
3. unmatching but bombing you on whatsapp...

You are going to be pressurised into truly terrible sex by either a galloping incel fantasist or a grubby wannabe player, & if you didn't already feel icked out by it, you can add in some derogatory on the job language about how you are clearly...in need of multiple partners because you're a <insert misogyny here>.

& then you'll get drunken attempts at booty calls for months if you don't block him immediately.

Hard pass. & block him on whatsapp, quick, before he shares your number with his mates.

to be honest i think its wierd to pause your online dating profile when you havent even had 1 date yet... jumping the gun a bit :S

I always unmatch men on tinder after I've got their number. Mainly because I'm always multi chatting at that stage and I don't want them going on there checking to see if I've been active

The guy's name doesn't begin with J does it if so experience says stay well clear! He asked me to come off site , I did, and he apparently did the same but then went straight back on i later discovered . This was Bumble though.

Also there'd be nothing wrong with him doing this - you've not even met yet. I think this is a non-issue

No I’ve done this !
when we are chatting it’s easier to delete them in the app

as you can’t see when they are online or vice versa

you have to make your own assessment really bit I’ve done this a lot

I’d agree with what someone else said - amber flag. I’ve not been on tinder for a little over a year but I thought you could only see if someone was online / last online if you had the premium version?

I know I matched with people a few times and their profiles changed quite often. Sometimes it would be ‘in birmingham, looking for a relationship’ and then two days later be ‘in Nottingham looking for hookups’ and stuff like that. So I think they would just update the profile according to their mood/location, and obviously if they are chatting to someone already, they wouldn’t want that to be known.

it wouldn’t put me off somebody entirely, but I’d keep an eye out for more things like this.

I never had an issue with guys I was chatting to, chatting to more than one person (which I’d often be doing too), IF they were honest about it. A couple of times, they’d sent me a screenshot of something else (in context) and I’d see the tinder icon at the top of their screen. If in separate conversation they then said ‘oh I’ve come off tinder’ or ‘I deleted my profile once we matched as I only like to focus on one person’ then I’d know they were lying.

@justacabsauv
Wow, you're dedicating a lot of time, effort and headspace to someone you've not even met yet!

OLD is just a useful way to make initial contact. Meeting them for real is when you get to know them. All the messaging back and forth with a complete stranger is weird bullshit IMO. Could be a bot for all you or a fake profile.

Just chill.
Meet in a safe space for a coffee.
Then see what you both think from there.

I used To come on and off dating sites even when speaking to people via text. Sometimes you need a break or there are people out there you want to talk to and you don’t want distraction of chatting to others.

don’t overthink he is a stranger. Use your gut feeling. I would meet in a public place. If he is constantly texting you then will he have time to met others

You can still communicate with matches with a paused account.

Unmatching from a dating site is almost always a bad move and they’re trying to hide who they’re seeing.

Sex drive talk, mostly about sex.

But, I’ve been speaking to someone I really click with, have a date with on Monday and he was a little bit flirty around what I’d wear - and I did play along with it but then stopped.

He actually messaged me last week and said it seemed sometimes I messaged him when doing other things, I multi task, and on a couple of phone calls I had TV on in the background. I was trying to come off to him as “casual, cool girl”. He said at first he thought I wasn’t serious about meeting etc due to that and always being busy at the weekend (I was!). The only thing I have to decide now is do I like his accent as it’s proper deep East end (he’s a nice Jewish boy fairly well off from a naice part of London!) but I think I do.

So he's lying???

Oh other advice. I’m currently chatting to and intend to meet 2 other men for coffee dates. I told first man this and he’s not fazed, other 2 not mentioned this to yet.

Dating is a numbers game. The more you meet the better and you can’t gauge chemistry until you meet in person.

I’d say white lie rather than full on lie.

read my next post. Just meet for a coffee think of it as an Amber flag and go from there.

OP, you’ve sort of short yourself in the foot here. This is dating - he’s allowed to chat with others and date who he likes, as are you, until such time comes when you decide to be exclusive. It’s OK that he also doesn’t want people in real life to see when he’s active on there - it’s not really your business. So when you ask him, he can say two things: ‘I unmatched you because I don’t want you to see when I’m active’ or lie that he has disabled his account. Do either make you happy? Probably not?

You are also allowed to ask what questions you want and dislike the answers. It’s up to you. If you like, do traditional dating instead where you will also have no idea what they’re up to.

Id also unmatch someone once I have their number. There is no reason for them to know whether you are still on the dating site or not. None of their business. People get fixated and some weirdos want to get married after a second date and they keep asking when youll be deleting your online dating profile.

You don't need to tell them. It's not their business. But worse it would make it sound like you expect them to compete over You.

He may not be paused his profile because of the OP. He may just be wanting a break. ... I've done that - nothing weird or sinister.

He doesn't need to be matched with you on tinder. You're what'sapping. It's a normal progression

I’ve had cancel crush on Happn and after I’ve been whatsapping and then they disappear so not same for all dating sites if they unmatch you etc.

It's really quite common for reasons well explained by previous posters. I do this too, once we are chatting on WhatsApp I'll unmatch on tinder. The real question is how it made you feel I guess - it wouldn't bother me at all but I'm dating multiple guys to find my best match (not happened yet though!) if it bothers you then talk to your potential date and ask I guess.