He looked at another woman's profile

[Imogenbee]

My partner created an online group as part of our in person community group. Myself and few others help admin the group. Recently a woman joined the group which another admin accepted her request. My partner posted a welcome post to all the new members. The woman asked on the post how the group worked which someone else responded to.

My partner went to show me something on his Facebook on his phone the other day and I noticed he had looked this woman up. She was fairly attractive and looks his type. I don't see why he felt the need to look her up when the admin's are pretty good at spotting real and catfish accounts. I'm not going to say anything. My partner is happy with me and says I am the love of his life, habits lucky to have me and will take me out for meal and buys flowers regularly.

I know he runs the community group so is going to get people contacting him. Does anyone else have partners who look up other women online?

Not that I know of.

I find it a bit intrusive & creepy & pretty inappropriate when you're in a relationship with someone.

(Just to add, I don't know if others feel the same way but I don't mind a partner looking up celeb/actress/model/TV etc people.... But someone "real", whom you have contact with and might meet and could get to know or see around etc. ... To me is not the same.

Unless there's a way of getting around it, he'll also pop up on her people you may know list because he looked at her page.

*I don't see why he felt the need to look her up when the admin's are pretty good at spotting real and catfish accounts.

I could be wrong and I don't want to annoy you but in my experience, men (and fewer women in general) who look up people of their sexual orientation, in their age range (or the age range they think is attractive/appropriate) when there's no other reason; fancy them and want to see if they have photos on their FB page, the scantier clad/more dressed up the better.

How do you know he looked up her profile?

This seems like an absolute storm in a tea cup. I have a couple of on-line accounts that I can see who looks at my profile… one of them is Tik Tok. Men and women look at my profile very regularly which must be quite boring for them because I have no videos posted. I don’t assume anything. I’ve idly looked at FB profiles of friends of friends - no idea why. Curiosity 🤷‍♀️

OMG you are nuts.

I admin a Facebook group and look at every profile before I accept them. Maybe he was just checking. Maybe he was just being nosey?

A lot of men to my understanding stalk women they find attractive online.
I don’t know if they all use the pictures as wank material, but you said she’s his type so I’d assume so.
Men, well these kind of men, seem to think that it’s totally normal and okey thing to do.
My friend is dating a guy, who once he was introduced to our friendship group, went home, searched the two of the girls he found attractive on IG and screensaved bunch of their pictures.

If you’ve ever been on reddit, you’d see how common this is among men….

Sad in my opinion.

Totally agree

This is madness.

He is an admin of a group, and has looked at the profile of a woman who has asked to join. He’s hardly stalking profiles looking for “scantily clad” women!

Mumsnet is crazy sometimes honestly.

I think it's quite normal to look at profiles on Facebook when you have some kind of connection to that person. It's human nature to be nosy, we all like to know a bit more than we need to about others.

I'd understand your dismay if he'd got straight on Tinder hoping to find her, but looking at a profile on Facebook is not at all creepy.

Sorry OP but this sounds very controlling and a little paranoid

This way madness lies OP.

100% Agree with this. People making something out of nothing.

She'd already been accepted into the group by another admin.

He didn't need to do anything or look her up.

Learn to read.

Also the naivety about men who do this and why is making me smh.

Is nobody else just nosy for the sake of being nosy?!

Maybe people aren't naive they just think there is no harm in anyone (man or woman) nosing on some attractive new acquaintance's profile! Idly fancying someone isn't a crime.

This is a total none issue. He's done nothing even remotely out of order. I've just looked at the profile of someone I don't know on Facebook, it means nothing except being nosy.

I am! I’m always looking up people who I’m in shared groups with.

She'd already been accepted into the group by another admin.

It's ok to look at new members still

He didn't need to do anything or look her up.

No maybe he didn't need to. Most people don't need to do half the stuff they actually do. Doing something you don't need to doesn't make it a wrong doing though.

Learn to read.

Eh?

Also the naivety about men who do this and why is making me smh.

This is most definitely coming from a place of insecurity, a lack of trust or past personal experience. Which also doesn't make this a wrong doing by OPDH

Have faith in yourself and your relationship. You've said he's committed but there's a big lack of trust here. Why is that? Looking at a profile is just nosiness, there's nothing wrong with it. Is he doing anything else you find suspicious?

Oh dear. I'm always noseying at other peoples.profiles. Doesn't mean I fancy them

Seriously?

I look at random profiles all the time. It's completely harmless.

I look at all kinds of people's profiles when bored or something piques my interest for whatever reason. Friends of friends, vague acquaintances or work colleagues, members of groups I'm in. Male and female. Definitely not because I fancy them, I'm just nosy! I didn't realise this was so unusual 😳

This has to be one of the most paranoid things I've ever read on here.

This is most definitely coming from a place of insecurity, a lack of trust or past personal experience

Terribly sorry but no.

It's a very common experience on here though. Some men do it habitually to any attractive women they come scross. And don't fool yourself - they're looking for photos of the woman.