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Original poster

Please wish me luck

49 replies

AnyaMarx · 28/04/2023 01:03

Almost 4 years single with a couple of flings I did t know we're flings else
Wouldn't have gone there

I've been chatting for 2 years to a guy who seems lovely .
His job fascinates me . He's kind . He works with animals . (Think sort of stunt man with animals !)

I've finally agreed to meet him coronation weekend .

Pluses .
Kind . Appears to want similar things to me . Kids are adults as are mine . Owns horses which I love . Job is a fascinating and he's a wee bit famous .

Cons
He is literally 2 inches taller than me
He a bit flabby and keeps sending me alluring pictures of him in bed which are if honest anything but alluring

Should I just go with a date ? And see ? He's so nice and we've been talking so long now .....
What if I don't fancy him ?
God being single is so much easier !!!!

OP posts:
GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 28/04/2023 01:07

He’s a bit flabby and you don’t find him at all alluring…

Don’t waste his time poor bloke; just because he’s ‘a wee bit famous’. He deserves someone nicer than you.

misssunshine4040 · 28/04/2023 01:10

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 28/04/2023 01:07

He’s a bit flabby and you don’t find him at all alluring…

Don’t waste his time poor bloke; just because he’s ‘a wee bit famous’. He deserves someone nicer than you.

I think it's ok to not find his pictures attractive is he is sending your unflattering ones.
You might find you have a huge chemistry and spark in person and won't care about flab.
You will only know if you go

Original poster
AnyaMarx · 28/04/2023 01:39

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 28/04/2023 01:07

He’s a bit flabby and you don’t find him at all alluring…

Don’t waste his time poor bloke; just because he’s ‘a wee bit famous’. He deserves someone nicer than you.

Ok thanks . I think I will cancel the date . I am happy as I am . I'm not a ln unkind person. I've been scared to meet him . I think it's probably much easier to stay friends .

Feeling a bit fragile anyway . Reasons I won't go into. I think it's
Probably much safer to say no.
Thanks

OP posts:
Original poster
AnyaMarx · 28/04/2023 01:46

I don't think I'm cut out for dating anyway !

If we stay friends we can carry on talking as we are , and I enjoy that .

OP posts:
Original poster
AnyaMarx · 28/04/2023 02:04

I don't find the "sexy " pics sexy no - but we seemed to get on . I do t know why men send flabby pictures of their torso- he stopped
Short of a dick pic because I said don't bother
But I like him . We
Chat a lot and I like him . The person saying so t waste his time he deserves someone nicer - I am nice , I just don't find a very pale flabby man with his torso hanging out almost showing everything attractive but I do find him attractive when we chet so was
Conflicted a bit I suppose.

It was a do we
Meet situation and see or do I keep saying no .

Safe option is keep
Saying no . I like safe these days actually. You can still appreciate his exploits and talent . We can still
Chet although he might get fed up of waiting to meet ! Anyway .
I aren't a horrible person. I just wasn't sure if I would fancy him . I didn't k ow whether to risk it or not . That was all .

OP posts:
Original poster
AnyaMarx · 28/04/2023 02:07

Im stupidly I'm too old for this shot anyway. He's nearly 50 and im 51 .

OP posts:
Original poster
AnyaMarx · 28/04/2023 02:08

I'm just gonna forget this thread now x ta

OP posts:
Summer2424 · 28/04/2023 03:13

Hi @AnyaMarx i would go on the date. I have been on dates where the pics didn't do them justice at all x

Original poster
AnyaMarx · 28/04/2023 08:57

They aren't pictures from a site - he keeps sending me topless photos of himself laid in bed

Nothing tasteless but I do t ever know why men do that - it's never attractive to me .

We've been talking 2 years. Not on a website.

OP posts:
Watchkeys · 28/04/2023 12:52

If you meet anybody for a date, let it be those who have only impressed you with every word/photo/communication so far.

'Giving people a chance' when they've already got you as far as 'Ew, no!' isn't being nice, it's having poor boundaries.

sladys · 28/04/2023 13:10

Tbh it's the fact he was sending "alluring" pics of him on the bed before meeting that would put me off in the first place. Regardless of what his body was like.

Doesn't sound like he's looking for serious/LTR and I'm guessing you do if you're not interested in a fling.

I've dated men that probably wouldn't look attractive if they posed naked/semi naked in a bed and it would make me cringe.

Once we'd dated for a bit and I got to know them I became attracted to them as an overall package and did fancy them. There's just something about the picture you describe that would give me the ick.

For what it's worth, I don't think you sound horrible or shallow

sladys · 28/04/2023 13:12

In fact my current bf is probably the most physically attractive partner I've ever had. Most people comment on his looks and I fancy the pants off him.

However if he sent me a pic of himself naked & posing on a bed before we even met irl I'd have run a mile.
It's just a bit cringe.

Tbh even now if he sent me it I'd be a bit 🤨

Original poster
AnyaMarx · 28/04/2023 17:24

Thank you
There's always so
Wine ready to take a shot on here now and make snide remarks- so
Someone thinks I'm not nice because I'm a bit put off by seeing a pale , hairy, unfit body laid out like I'm meant to swoon ....

The fact is we have been talking for a long time and never met
I find him attractive with clothes on I think
We seem to have a lot to chat about
He is definitely seeking a LTR from what I know and how we've talked for 2 years
I wanted to meet and see how it went - we've flirted a bit by text but every time I get a one of the "alluring " pics it puts me off .

I mean if Brad Pitt sent me the same I'd probably cringe . But this guy is short , not a great body , hairy and pale so when I look I just think "oh put it away man "

He's never sent anything gross - I think he's trying to look a bit sexy but - he doesn't.

OP posts:
doitwithlove · 28/04/2023 17:49

What are the reasons you have not met before?

Passmethpens · 28/04/2023 19:43

ahh I’d go on the date.
it’s only a date.
Go and see how things go… give yourselves a chance for goodness sake

Eyesopenwideawake · 28/04/2023 19:48

Why haven't you met up in the last 2 years?

Stratocumulus · 28/04/2023 19:52

Noooo!
The first time I got the picture of him in bed, lardy body on show, regardless of how long the chatting connection, I’d have dumped him.
Why oh why does he think for one moment that that kind of pic’ is acceptable to you and don’t let’s even examine the non d*ck pic’ reasoning.

Nah, it wouldn’t be for me but each to his own. Sorry but it’s an Ick, ick, ick from me.

Original poster
AnyaMarx · 28/04/2023 19:56

We haven't met before now because I just wasn't ready for anything after coming out of a very painful break up from someone I thought was my one - and I'd had a still birth in my mid 40s which consumed me for a time and I just really couldn't be arsed with another relationship.
But I feel I've healed , had a couple of short lived flings after the break up which just confirmed I was t ready for anything.
Now I've been single 4 years and just feel a little more optimistic but I ditched all dating sites a while ago and have been happily throwing myself into single life , taken up new hobbies, forced myself out more with friends etc .

We just got chatting again (we've always been in touch but sporadic) and things progressed to us actuality arranging to meet .
But just the pics keep putting me off ....he's nice in clothes 😂.

We also have a common interest so I just threw caution to the wind and arranged dinner next week .

OP posts:
Dery · 28/04/2023 19:56

It’s hard to understand why you haven’t met before (but you don’t have to explain). It does put an awful lot of pressure on the first date if you talk for 2 years beforehand.

Original poster
AnyaMarx · 28/04/2023 19:57

See explanation below ....or above depending on which way you're reading this

OP posts:
MuddyMay · 28/04/2023 20:12

Cons
He is literally 2 inches taller than me

What a peculiar thing to say. Confused

OhwhyOY · 28/04/2023 20:43

Why don't you say you'd like to just meet for a drink as friends rather than a date, and see where things go? Just say you're not ready to date yet but as you get on so well online you'd like to chat in person. Then you can see what you feel like after that.

Original poster
AnyaMarx · 28/04/2023 20:45

Is it weird ? Wonder where "tall dark and handsome " comes from then .

He's short bald and portly - and I've never been a fan of a hairy chest . Just personal preference but I aren't ruling him out on those things .

It's something about the pics - like I should find a pale , hairy portly torso really attractive in a photo ....

I'm not a model by any stretch but I wouldn't send a pic in my pants with my tummy stuck out all pale and podgey - if I dress well , or put on a nice lingerie set I look ok - but I'd not stick me everyday cotton pants on and parade in front of a camera with me tits hanging like spaniels ears ( they don't to be fair their pretty decent but you get my drift ?)

OP posts:
Malloryhitops · 28/04/2023 20:53

To be fair some people over a certain age just cannot take flattering selfies tbh 😂 at least he is confident which is attractive in itself! I would defo meet up if you like his face and really like his personality. Forget about the pics and take a shot at it 🤷‍♀️ people can surprise you in real life. I often think people are like opposite catfish situation 😂 they look better in real life in comparison to their shit selfies 😂

Throwncrumbs · 28/04/2023 21:31

Trying to think of a portly, pale, flabby wee bit famous man who does stunts with animals lol. Go on the date he sounds fun!

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