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Original poster

How do you make friends at 50?

51 replies

NCTDN · 26/04/2023 22:20

So i feel like I'm into a new chapter of my life. Daughter at uni, I work part time and dh works full time.
I've realised though that I'm lonely. I have work colleagues and friends from my children's friends parents. But no actual close close friends. My best friend moved abroad 10 years ago and since then I've felt in limbo. I crave those people who go on holidays together as couples and world love to do this, but life hasn't worked out like that so far.
DH is content but quite a loner. He had a sport hobby which he does with others, but they are more acquaintances rather than what I would class as friends.
I'm not that mobile to do sport activities to meet people that way, but then things like the WI round here are much older than me.
I read a post on here where someone was told she needed new friends, but my question is how?

OP posts:
harridan50 · 26/04/2023 22:22

Join the leisure centre, attend regular classes,get fit and make friends
Volunteer in something that interests you
Join something like a sport or book club to meet like minded people

Costacoffeeplease · 26/04/2023 22:24

Book or craft group? I’ve recently started a craft group in my local town.

Original poster
NCTDN · 26/04/2023 22:25

harridan50 · 26/04/2023 22:22

Join the leisure centre, attend regular classes,get fit and make friends
Volunteer in something that interests you
Join something like a sport or book club to meet like minded people

But how do you make friends in an exercise class? I tried that and failed. Sad

OP posts:
Original poster
NCTDN · 26/04/2023 22:26

Costacoffeeplease · 26/04/2023 22:24

Book or craft group? I’ve recently started a craft group in my local town.

What sort of craft group do you do?

OP posts:
scoobydoo1971 · 26/04/2023 22:26

I am your age. I find people through volunteering, adult education and social media groups about shared hobbies. I would also try meet up and other community groups if I had more time. Event brite and events.in list all sorts of offline and online groups and events. Good luck to you.

bert3400 · 26/04/2023 22:29

I would enrol in learning a new language...a small group. I started doing this 18 months, I've met some lovely people and we go out socially too . I also play Padel which is massive in Europe and is catching on in the UK, it's very very sociable and you don't have to be fit to play , it highly addictive.

ihatesonic · 26/04/2023 22:47

About the same age but single. I joined my local Dining Out group on Meetup. Then a book club on there and a theatre group. I met a lot of people and have made a few close friends from it.

Hard as it is, you have to get out there and extend the offer first.

GreyCarpet · 26/04/2023 23:14

Join a choir. They're full of women in their 50s who are there for exactly the same reason. I was in one for 8 years and it was a really good laugh.

A few of us became friends and went on holidays together, gigs, etc I had some of the best fun with them and I was only in my 30s at the time.

It doesn't matter if you can't sing either. It's more about the socialising than anything 😉

UsingChangeofName · 26/04/2023 23:54

Same as at any time of life - you put yourself into situation where other people are, and do things you enjoy doing.
The more people you get to know, and are friendly with, the higher the likelihood of a deeper friendship forming.

But how do you make friends in an exercise class?

Well, you chat to people at the start / the end. Then you suggest having a bit of a gathering after the last class before Christmas or whatever. Or you go for a drink afterwards. Or a coffee. There's quite a social group now from a class I've started going to - some folk go out for the evening every 6 weeks or so.

But it doesn't happen in everyone, obviously. That's where something like a craft group, or a fundraising group or a book club or a rambling club (depending on your interest) works because a huge part of the activity, is chatting with people.

Or you could try volunteering - there are 1001 ways to volunteer - some more sociable than others.

Sometimes you have to put invitations out there (and yes, that sometimes involves a risk of no-one taking up the offer, but also opens up the chance to do something else with a new person or people and that might develop further.

Costacoffeeplease · 27/04/2023 00:03

We do knitting and crochet

BasiliskStare · 27/04/2023 00:09

Might sound a bit left field but Bridge ( if you are at all interested in that kind of thing) People are always looking to make up a four & if you do not play already then there are usually classes. BUT you do have to like it - which I don't , but I know lots of people who have made friends like this.

ZaZathecat · 27/04/2023 00:11

I joined an am dram group when I was 50 and have met lovely friends and had a whale of a time ever since (quite a few years now)

junebirthdaygirl · 27/04/2023 00:12

I have friends but would never in a million years go on holidays with another couple. I love my friends but dealing with their dhs on holidays would annoy me. Just saying that sometimes those fantasies aren't all that great in reality.
I would just focus on joining new stuff and meeting new people. The more people you meet and the more interesting things you have in your life the better chance you have of one of them being a friend.
All depends on your, as said, a choir would be good or a writers group as there you will chat and get to know people.

Appalonia · 27/04/2023 00:15

I'm in my 50s, moved back to my home town to take care of my dad who had dementia. I didn't know many pp but I've made friends by doing things like joining a Zumba class, volunteering, doing art classes, joining a women's group and starting a book club.

Groovy48592747 · 27/04/2023 01:05

It's not easy but I find you're the one who has to initiate it/set up a social group/charity group and make some events through that. Really put yourself out there. I've never found friends through attending classes etc, or if I have, they were short lived until that class/course etc ended.

After moving to a new area, I looked on Meetup but didn't find any locally applicable groups to me. I started a charity group applicable to my situation and those in my situation and because I steered it and organised, met people through there. It was a lot of work for an introvert like me, putting myself out of my comfort zone.

These have now become the type of friends to meet up for coffee or have dinner with, not besties. Don't think I'd want to go on holiday with anyone who isn't family though.

Frozzie1 · 27/04/2023 01:25

Learning to play bridge is a good idea. Evening classes teach it and then you play with clubs in the evenings/day. It is good because you are playing games and not relying on small talk constantly when meeting new people. I’ve found it to be sociable as well as intellectually stimulating. Very enjoyable also. All age groups though mostly 40 years plus.

maddy68 · 27/04/2023 02:09

I moved abroad at the age of 50 and didn't know a soul. So I joined things
Join the local Facebook groups and go to events

This is where I met my new friends

Painting class
Yoga
Gin tasting
Pub quiz

Zippedydoo123 · 27/04/2023 06:10

I am joining a holistic centre soon that has many cool things on plus in a few more years will do two hours volunteer work weekly. The latter I will join once state pension kicks in so another 7 years to go.

Livelifelaughter · 27/04/2023 08:28

I am in quite a few activities but being honest having a coffee after a class etc takes a long time to develop into a proper friendship. What I think you do need to do is extend an invitation and take the initiative. So I have found inviting people for brunch or lunch after an activity. I really think that you need to be quite bold. I am in my 50s. Do lots for some reason people have a whiff of loneliness and it's off putting so it's better to try and be bold.

Original poster
NCTDN · 27/04/2023 09:42

I've googled local clubs etc but can't find very much at all! I even looked at the WI but things like jams and chutneys and Welsh souvenirs aren't really my thing Confused
Does anyone know of anything like the WI but for slightly younger people?
I'll keep looking...

OP posts:
DemonicCaveMaggot · 27/04/2023 09:52

I'm 60 and DH and I moved to a town in the UK from abroad two years ago.

I looked on the town hall website and from there got to see the village hall websites and what is going on. I found a craft group that meets every Friday afternoon. People bring things like crochet, card making, embroidery, applique, hand sewing, knitting, wreath and rug making, and spend three hours together working on our own crafts. There are about 20 of us, and smaller groups of the same people (with some additions) meet at other village halls in the area for similar craft groups. My local village hall hosts singalong groups and art groups where they do painting or just colouring.

I have also taken up bellringing, my mother made her closest friends through that. You see people twice a week, not only in the tower but at the pub afterwards and go on ringing outings together so get to know everyone.

I also registered with our county's wildlife trust as a volunteer and have started going to help at the local nature reserve once a month, and have joined the local residents' group who arrange events for our local area several times a year. The wildlife trust is also asking for volunteers to teach maths to young adults which also appeals to me.

Local pubs and coffee shops will also have notices about events for local choral societies or amateur dramatics if you are interested in getting involved with that.

mamnotmum · 27/04/2023 09:54

A walking group?
Or a walking sport - walking netball, football etc.

unfor · 27/04/2023 09:54

Do you ever think about getting a dog? That is an absolutely brilliant way to meet people but obviously you do need to want to be a dog owner!

Original poster
NCTDN · 27/04/2023 09:56

I world love a dog! It's just really hard when working 3 long days - I don't think it would be fair on it

OP posts:
gettingolderbutcooler · 27/04/2023 09:59

Meetup app!

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