Strange situation In colleague’s home.

[mermaid101]

I’m not very sure if this is even an issue or if I am overthinking a situation.
I have recently started a new job and sometimes work from home with my boss. She is married and her DH works in the city near her house.

The other day, she ordered us a pizza for lunch as we had completed a big project as a bit of a treat. I noticed she was very meticulous when she cleaned up and she put the box in bags and then in the outside bin.

I was still there when her DH got home and he asked what we had for lunch. My boss sort of froze and looked a bit panicked, so I quickly said that I had brought some fruit and nuts and we had had that, which was true. But obviously we had also eaten a pizza. She agreed with me.

I thought she looked scared and there was a bit of an atmosphere for about ten mins. She seemed flustered and nervous. I glossed over it and tried to keeping chatting about work.

I feel like I might have witnessed something, but it feels innocuous and I could be mistaken. She is in a VERY senior position at my company. I am not nearly as senior. We don’t know each other very well but she is absolutely lovely. She has been so supportive to me and I am very fond of her.

should I say anything? I’m worried that I call this wrong and cause an issue. If it is relevant she has no family nearby and doesn’t seem to see very many friends- she is very busy with work.

No don't say anything.

Don’t say anything but continue the friendship.

As you needed to lie for her I just don't think I could say nothing. Just ask discreetly when no-one else is around. She must know you will have seen this whole situation as very odd. There's definitely something troubling going on here and she may be glad of someone sympathetic to confide in as she doesn't seem to have any other support circle.

Please don't ask outright. As a PP said, be aware and be her friend. Don't cross boundaries as you may risk alienating her. And she clearly needs friends.

I wouldn't say anything

Your boss will be very grateful for your quick thinking I reckon.

I wouldn't say anything just now, just perhaps keep half an eye on things.

Don’t mention it unles she does. It’s a very odd thing for him to ask what you had for lunch. She was clearly hiding the evidence.

Maybe she's supposed to be on a diet, 'cheated' and didn't want husband to know??

Build your relationship within the boundaries of respect for her seniority to you. In time you might find out more about her relationship dynamic and can if she needs it, be supportive.
Why on earth any husband/partner would be remotely interested in what their significant other had eaten for lunch is weird. Could there be an element of control there? Keep your ear to the ground OP but for now be discrete and say nothing.

Depends how close you are but you said you're really fond of her - maybe if the opportunity arises just casually mention somehow that 'you're always here if you need anything..'

Don’t say anything but keep the friendship going and the door open in case she does want to talk about it.

She will tell you if she wants to. Just continue to keep the lines o communication open. Sounds weird, but it could be that she has been trying to lose weight and he has been trying to support her.

No don't say anything. She likely knows that you saw something a bit weird. Just keep being friendly and supportive as you are.

Did you notice whether she put the rubbish in their own bin or a neighbours?

Have you been there when he's got in before and there's been talk of dinner?

The Ask A Manager site sometimes has similar questions to this come up. You could search the archives there or even send it in as a question if it’s troubling you enough?

Thanks everyone. Looks like the consensus is not to say anything.

I’m very certain that something happened that day but I’m not sure exactly what it is/was.

I will just keep things as they are just now- very warn and friendly, but professional and not mention anything. Thanks to
you all for responding. I was very unsure what to do.

Could he be fat shaming her it happens a lot to me in my house.

Next time you have a quiet moment in private, say something like ‘by the way sorry if I seemed a bit strange the other day when your husband was asking about food, I have a friend whose ex husband was always trying to catch her out and we just got in the habit of glossing over things for an easier life for her’.

She then knows that you are supportive and have her back. She also can pretend that everything is fine without losing face/having to open a can of worms she isn’t ready to deal with.

Once I left my ex I found a lot of people suspected his true nature but never told me so and I felt a bit shit about that.

Say nothing for now but be alert. How strange. Disturbing to be afraid of your spouse. So I’d keep my eyes and ears open.

No, please don't say anything. Your professional relationship means she will need to keep boundaries in place, so it would be extremely unlikely she would choose you as a confident. At least not until she knows you much better. As the senior she sets the tone at work, so could easily find a way to confide in you if she chose to so let her take the lead. If you bring it up you will embarrass her and risk the relationship you're building.

Thus sounds a good way forward OP. Gives her the opportunity to open up if she wants to but also to ignore it if she wants to

This. You don't need to say anything. Give her time. One day she may call on you

Diet? Health issue where she's not meant to eat something? Might be controlling, equally might not be

Of course it's weird on the surface but there could be any number of reasons behind it.

Hmm