I know you probably find this hard to believe, but one day you will not care.
You will not give a flying Fuck what he thinks or what she does. You just will not care.
However!! In the meantime.
You can do this! Whenever that anger and bitterness (rightly) takes hold and your mind goes off in a rage of unfairness, try the 54321 grounding technique.
Honesty it helped me so much when I got the rage after my breakup.
Try it, I bet you'll e surprised how it brings you back.
Five things you can see
The first step to the 5-4-3-2-1 coping technique for anxiety is to name five things that you can see.
Look around you and count five things that you can see and say them out loud. You might be able to see people walking by, birds flying in the sky, or the rain running down the window. Whatever it may be, as long as you can see it, it counts.
Take a deep breath in between each thing you can see. This will help to level your breathing and will begin to calm you down.
Four things you can touch
Once you have named five things you can see, you can move on to name four things you can touch.
Maybe you are sat on a chair and you can feel the chair on your legs or back. You might be able to feel the ground that you are stood on. Even your hands on a table counts. As long as you can touch it, it counts.
Once again, take a deep breath in between each thing that you name.
Three things you can hear
Once you have named four things you can touch, you can move on to name three things you can hear.
Whether you are inside or outside, you will be able to hear things around you. If you’re at home, you might be able to hear the washing machine or the clock ticking in the background. If you’re outside, you might be able to hear birds chirping or cars moving down the street.
No matter what it is, as long as you can hear it, it counts. Remember to keep taking deep breaths in between each thing that you name.
Two things you can smell
Once you have named three things you can hear, you can move on to name two things you can smell.
It might be easier to do this with your eyes closed, to stop any distractions. Maybe you can smell lovely food cooking in the oven, or you might be able to smell flowers or an air freshener near you.
Whatever it is, as long as you can smell it, it counts. Once again, don’t forget to take those deep breaths. You might be feeling a bit less anxious by now.
One thing you can taste
Finally, once you have named two things you can smell, you can move on to name one thing you can taste.
You might be able to taste the coffee you had this morning, or some food you’ve eaten. Perhaps you can taste chocolate or a tangy taste of orange from your breakfast.
Whatever it is, as long as you can taste it, it counts. Take one more deep breath and you’re done! Hopefully, after this, you feel a little less anxious and a bit more relaxed.