Married 10 years, together 15, 2DC (primary age).
Things have been a bit up and down over the years, but happy on the whole. We've got a nice house, decent jobs and standard of living, no financial worries, the DC are happy and confident. On the surface things should be great, but we keep arguing.
H is sometimes described by others as grumpy, and he has become increasingly negative over time. It's like he thinks everyone and everything is against him whenever things don't go his way (whereas I think it might be rubbish sometimes but that is a normal part of life). Then he goes on a downward spiral of misery and becomes rude and snappy, picking on little things and blowing them up into huge rows.
He lost someone close to him recently, and it's made him think about his own mortality. This and the grief seems to have pushed him over the edge, and he's been explosive.
He's decided that he needs to change something and that should be to leave me, because I "don't meet his needs any more". This is largely because I don't meet his expectations sexually... not that it doesn't happen or isn't enjoyable when it does, but that I don't "dress up" for him enough, and I don't come up with new things to try in the bedroom.
I am 99% certain he is depressed, but he won't consider getting any help for it. He's said things like he's not sure it's worth being alive because nobody cares and everything is a struggle. Even if he leaves me I can't just stop caring and he is the father of my children. I don't know what to do.
Has anyone been through something like this and can give advice? Sometimes I feel like I should just let him go and maintain minimal contact because I'm struggling to keep things relatively normal for the sake of the kids and to focus at work, but I'm so worried about him and I'd like to work things out really, I just don't know if it's possible. 😞