What do you wear to bed / insecurities

[Bereast23]

Quite a random topic but I’m interested to find out what others wear to bed with their dp?

do you wear something sexy? Pjs? Naked? I have always just worn one of dps oversized shirts with some panties but the past few months I’ve started wearing long sleeve pjs. This was due to the cold weather, me and dh both started wearing pjs (sometimes he sleeps completely naked but if it’s cold he’s been wearing pjs). He only has a few pairs that I’ve bought him including matching xmas ones that we are still wearing haha!

he has made quite a lot of comments recently about how I don’t dress sexy or ‘cute’ just always wearing boring pyjamas. I’m very insecure about my body (I’m a size 4/6 uk but I have extreme loose skin on my stomach from pregnancy). This bothers me so much and I can’t wear certain things as I need clothes that cover my stomach.

there’s so many cute sexy nightwear I’d love to wear but I’m so restricted to make sure my stomachs covered. If I didn’t have the loose skin I’d love to just sleep naked!

what do you all wear? I don’t want him to think I’m boring and I’d like to dress sexier at nighttime (I bought a satin nightie but it just didn’t look nice on me at all!).

also, do you have any insecurities with your body? Do you show them to your dp? My dh says there’s nothing wrong with my stomach but I hate it. The only time I’ll have my top off/be naked during sex is when the rooms dark. I couldn’t imagine being on top and looking down seeing the skin just hanging loose from my stomach!

anyway! Cute nightwear recommendations very welcome!

Winter: leggings + T-shirt combo (+ socks if it’s extra cold)
Summer: boxer shorts + T-shirt (or tank top) combo
I don’t own pyjamas, they are cringe.
I don’t wear stupid sexy lace bullshit and nobody complained so far. I have a relatively good body though 😎

Hi Ofcourse I’ll sleep in what makes me comfortable just trying to find some nicer alternatives to the full pjs. Not just for dh but also for myself as I think I’d feel more confident if I looked nicer. (Not saying it will be every night - wearing comfy pjs is still cool with me!)

in regards to my age, I am 28. I just refer to my knickers as panties sorry

To be honest no matter what you wear I imagine your husband will want to spoon you in bed and his hand will wander under your top and he will feel your stomach on way to your breasts or down stairs so he knows your stomach is soft unless you're going to sleep with a waist cincher corset type?? It must be very impractical and awkward at sex to have to hide your stomach. Are you planning on a tummy tuck?

Could you try high waist tummy control knickers under a night dress/shirt or babydoll or high waist stomach control cycling shorts with a t shirt to sleep in? Maybe athleisure type of shorts?
https://tlcsport.co.uk/products/extra-strong-compression-micron-shorts-with-high-tummy-control-black?variant=41017254936725&currency=GBP&gclid=CjwKCAjw0N6hBhAUEiwAXab-TWcReUF-m2KhQSuFgvRsKoyLv3K93rb-uLLlnGxKkJQsrJgDwNAs7BoCtuYQAvD_BwE

Stomach control pants or shorts to sleep in? Are you crazy? This is the worst advice

Honestly, my DH couldn't give a crap - it's not like he forgets that I have a vagina or I am the woman he wants to have sex with because I am wearing a baggy T-shirt or woolly socks and a dressing gown or any other piece of clothing that I might wear (or not wear) to bed depending on how hot or cold it is in our flat. That's literally why we are in a relationship.

If you feel like you want to look 'sexy' because you feel sexy and you want to express it as part of a healthy relationship, then that is up to you. If you are tired and want to put comfort and warmth first then that is also your prerogative. His attraction to you should be based on YOU, not what lingerie / babydoll/teddy outfit you might wear to bed.

Your body/stomach also grew his child - as women we are taught to dislike any sign of our bodies completing the task it was evolved for, while simultaneously being told that we must look desirable for that task at all times! I get that you feel insecure about it OP, but I would really try and fight those thoughts. Work with it so you feel comfortable in what you wear, but try and fight the shame and be proud of your tummy - look what it did! I have plenty of physical insecurities, but my DH kisses exactly what I hate, and tells me he loves every part of me, especially the parts I show little love to myself, because they need it more. You only get one body, and eventually it will wear out. But until then, it deserves your care and appreciation.

Oh he definitely knows how it looks/feels. He’s become very inclined to rub/feel/play with the loose skin when we’re spooning. I always cringe so much because I hate it but he says he likes it. (I think part of my insecurity is that other women my age just have these gorgeous bodies/stomachs and I don’t look like that. He’s a very good looking / athletic guy that gets ALOT of attention from beautiful women so I constantly compare myself).

Sex is fine, it’s usually only when I’m on top that I just wouldn’t want him to see my stomach so I’d have on a top (because the way the skin hangs in that position) but there’s plenty of times I’m completely naked during sex and especially if there’s no lights on then I’m much more comfortable.

I do wear a waist trainer to bed every night under my pjs (this is actually because I have found it helps stop the bloating as I also have diastasis recti). Dp hates the waist trainer though

Also, I would love a tummy tuck at some stage but I don’t think I’d actually be brave enough to do it. Dp is completely against it, says there’s nothing wrong and goes mad at the thought of me doing it.

Little update - dp hasn’t had sex with me in almost 2 weeks now (usually we do it every 2-3 days). Although we have been spooning in bed and I can feel him get hard he doesn’t try to touch me or anything. I’m extremely frustrated as this has happened quite often recently and he is always the one to initiate sex and a few times I’ve tried recently I’ve just been rejected.

I’m very frustrated and mentioned it to him this morning and he blamed me for ‘the pyjamas I’m wearing’… I told him that any guy would rip them off their partner if they wanted to have sex. Told him that even when I do wear sexy lingerie etc he doesn’t actually like it and also told him that he doesn’t dress sexy to bed either.

so yeah I’m pretty annoyed right now. I’m extremely horny and that doesn’t happen often because of my hormones, anytime it does happen I just don’t get it. Surely cotton pyjamas can’t be that big of an issue to not put him in the mood?

Yes something sounds wrong. Hope you can sit down and have a heart to heart.

If you're horny and he doesn't like your nightclothes, why don't you catch him on the stairs? In the kitchen? In the bathroom?

??? Your dp sounds like a dickhead and you need to unlearn the male gaze and internal sexism.

He "gets lots of attention from women", tells you what to wear/punishing you by witholding sex for not dressing up like a sex doll to bed, won't allow you agency with your own body, goes mad at you for thinking about cosmetic surgery (I mean fair enough to have an opinion but not to go mad)

Are you the one asking on another thread whether you can wear a wiat trainer three dats after birth? Get a grip woman! Love yourself. Did you have controlling parents? Why is your self esteem so low? Dont answer just think about it. Time to reflect and make some changes

Just checked no its not your username so I was wrong about that but I still feel strongly that you should work on your body confidence

The funny part is that he doesn’t actually like it when I dress up. If I wear sexy lingerie he doesn’t really get turned on it’s not his thing. He openly tells me he prefers me to be ‘simple’ and likes just a baggy too and knickers.

no that’s not me, the waist trainer I started wearing 3 years after pregnancy and purely my own reasons I realised it’s helped a lot with the bloating/loose skin. Dp is also against that he thinks it’s silly and not good for my health.

I do have a lot of insecurities I really need to work on loving myself just don’t know where to start.

I had very loving parents - my mother was very strict on me and didn’t let me have much freedom but nothing to make me insecure

Both me and DH sleep naked. I have put on lots of weight since we married 43 years ago due mainly to medication but DH loves me for what I am not what my body looks like

So the issue if I understood correctly is that he just doesn't want you hiding your stomach in waist trainers or wearing elaborate lingerie?