Ooops, I wanted a new paragraph but looks like I posted. Sorry.
In the meantime I went on a solo holiday to Greece and during that week we got really close, talking on the phone and I fell for him. He was still sharing the sold house with his ex as completion was a few weeks away and she got angry one night at his speaking to me. I can see her point, he could have gone out to chat, it was a little like rubbing salt into the wound even though it was a large property, but maybe a pink flag?
When we finally met he did the long drive, rocked up with gifts and playing 'our' song, but although we spent the day together chatting and laughing it was clear he didn't find me attractive. There was an awkward hand hold initiated by me and nothing more.
But we kept in touch and sometimes over the last year it was flirty. Then in January he came up to visit again and was giving every sign he was treating it as a date, arranging a lovely restaurant and activities. It was a wonderful day! Toward the end I asked him what had changed and he explained that having the rug pulled on his 37 year marriage left him thinking he needed a woman who was a carbon copy of himself. He now realised a good relationship can benefit from some different interests and hobbies. The timing hadn't been right last year either. The whole day had been really huggy, affectionate, hand holding, but no kissing, and the same continued as we had coffee at my house. Nonetheless, after hugging on the sofa, he took himself off home and didn't want to stay.
Next day he messaged early and was keen to sort out another meeting asap. Then by the afternoon he was cooling, saying it would be in six weeks time, and putting out friend vibes again. I told him his mood swings gave me whiplash. But he added me as a FB friend all the same and I accepted because I do like his company and our values closely align.
Over the last couple of months he has started really engaging online, liking all my posts and I think we have both seen a more complex picture of the other, especially politically. Then this week has been a shocker for me with a death of an ex, my youngest dropping out of uni and some financial problems. This man has been on the end of my Whatsapp all the time and really lifted my spirits. So yesterday I thanked him, unusual in itself as we mostly stick to light conversation, jokes, banter, and he responded that he wanted me to go visit him in Cornwall soon. He joked I needed a passport but messages crossed and I thought he was talking about holidays so said I wanted to get back to Greece asap. He jumped on it and suggested we go. In May! So less that 24 hours later we are booked and off in four weeks.
We've agreed to share a room but he said we are going as friends without benefits. He's really excited though which is sweet. But I want to protect my emotional wellbeing and wonder whether he does have a romantic or sexual interest in me. Maybe he's been burned by his marriage and is scared to get involved again? What do you think? I'd value some other perspectives.