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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How would you feel if your DP/DH told you to....

69 replies

Washersaurus · 14/02/2008 14:20

.."improve your attitude and to show him some respect"?

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Washersaurus · 14/02/2008 14:33

I'm frightened he is turned into his dad . It sounds like just the sort of thing I bet FIL used to say DH and his sister when they were younger.

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colditz · 14/02/2008 14:33

when I had finished laughing, I would give myself a good recto-pubic grooming with his toothbrush.

Washersaurus · 14/02/2008 14:34

*turning

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scorpio1 · 14/02/2008 14:34

pmsl colditz

lennygrrl · 14/02/2008 14:34

Message withdrawn

expatinscotland · 14/02/2008 14:35

I'd cackle like a crow.

lennygrrl · 14/02/2008 14:35

Message withdrawn

cmotdibbler · 14/02/2008 14:36

It reminds me of the time that DH told me to 'action' something. I enquired as to whether I was going to be on performance review.

I like Madamez's suggestion - that usually sorts out any delusions of gransdeur round here.

Jodyray · 14/02/2008 14:37

A comment like that is probably why you dont respect him...after i had smacked DH in the mouth I would do as much as i could to piss him off til he realised i was alright in the 1st place!! MEN!!

Washersaurus · 14/02/2008 14:38

I think it must be all the financial responsibility.

Feck it, I'm going to look for a job, and he can contribute a bit more to looking after the boys

I wish someone would show me some respect

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hecate · 14/02/2008 14:40

I'd ask him if he'd like something to put on that black eye......

And I'm not kidding.

lennygrrl · 14/02/2008 14:43

Message withdrawn

WanderingTrolley · 14/02/2008 14:45

In all honesty, I think I'd say "Make me, pencil dick!"

Then I'd shoot him, obviously.

HAve you become an employee? Sounds like you got a talking-to from a particularly wankerish boss, tbh.

Tortington · 14/02/2008 14:48

yeah i think you should get him involved in sorting out and paying for childcare whilst you get a 'proper' job becuase he is being a dick

ou cant have a part time job, this is becuase you still wont work as hard as him

you must work equal hours

your job must involve buckets more martyredom.

but you must sit dow and clearly ask him - what job would make ou equal.

becuse if for instance you broke bricks all day

and he is a computer analyst

i suppose he could come to you and say " well your job hasn't got the mental stress that mmy job has, the deadlines, te reports"

but visa vera he could say " sat on your cushty arse whilst i am lierally working my fingers t thebone..call that a job"

tell him that when you ge this new job, that he will have to wash him own things and to pick a child and be responsibly for washing all that childs stuff and getting that child ready for nursery.childminder - this includes and food they might need.

tell him that you will take it in turns to do the weekly shop

time not money will be the premium when you start work.

i think you should make him aware that within this power play the only people wo will lose are the kids

and he should stop being a twat

Washersaurus · 14/02/2008 14:49

Custardo, I might just do that

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Wisteria · 14/02/2008 15:02

Or you could tell him that since you are obviously now being treated like an employee then you will expect an annual performance review and salary increase..........

In fat you could fill in one of those self assessment review things and ask for his comments.

Ooh the mind just boggles.....but seriously a lot of men take this attitude when the woman gives up work he needs a good strong kick in the balls gentle reminder that you are married to each other not work colleagues.

minouminou · 14/02/2008 16:01

I'd be like "fuuuck off, dickhead!" and then laugh.
I work part time, from home, and have asked DP to buy such and such for me/us/DS on his way home from work, because "It costs £X and that's what I've just lost because you can't put clothes away properly"
(ie, getting ready for nursery was delayed as i've just wasted 20 mins looking for DS' vests, to find them in DP's trouser drawer).
S'only a token amount, here and there, but it makes him realise that ALL of my time, as i'm self-employed, is money.
I mess up household chores-wise, it's my money i'm losing, he messes up, it's my money i'm losing, as i'm also DS' primary carer.
tell him one of our chums pays their nanny over £20K, and you're thinking of charging

MrsMattie · 14/02/2008 16:02

I'd tell him to fuck right off.

Washersaurus · 14/02/2008 20:51

Do any of you think that your DP/DH would actually ever say anything like that to you though?

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LyraSilvertongue · 14/02/2008 20:53

Blimmin' 'eck!
I'd tell him he's not my father/teacher/boss and to stop behaving like he is.
Really, the cheek of it.

Dropdeadfred · 14/02/2008 20:53

never

nooka · 14/02/2008 21:20

Hmm I think I'd feel like sticking my tongue out (in fact I am sure I would if it was my dh), but as it sounds like there are underlying issues, I might be a bit more direct and ask him what on earth he is thinking about to talk to you like that.

WelliesAndPyjamas · 14/02/2008 21:25

I'd find him a phone number to make himself an appointment with a psychiatrist.

NAB3wishesfor2008 · 14/02/2008 21:29

He is under the impression he is in charge of you and needs reminding you are equal and he can only go out and earm money because you stay at home with the kids.

shatteredmumsrus · 15/02/2008 19:55

I have had that conversation with my partner many times but i couldnt let him talk to me like that. Its what you would say to a child that is rebelling. Agree with other posters let him be 'mum' Role reversal is great