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Original poster

Am I being too picky with these things?

57 replies

Cleantre · 05/04/2023 21:13

New guy I’m dating, we get along so well and there are definite feelings there between us but there are a few things that I have seen that I’m unsure about.

which of these things would you feel very strongly about and which would you let go? I feel like I’ve lost all perspective on things recently and don’t want to confuse my feelings for true compatibility

  • his house is messy, unclean, I think he kept it up initially when I first started coming over but it is pretty bad- dishes everywhere, laundry everywhere, bathroom dirty, never seems to change bedding.
  • smokes a lot, doesn’t always brush teeth going to bed
  • doesn’t cook ever, has never done an actual full shop for food in the 4 months I’ve know him
  • never complements me ever, feels strange as precious boyfriends have done so
  • Never wants to do anything at weekends except sleep and slob about on sofa
OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 08/04/2023 07:03

He’s a loser - dump him

CaptainCorellisBagpipes · 08/04/2023 07:08

He sounds like a student that hasn't grown up.

This is your vision of the future OP. If you don't like it I'd bail out now, before you become too invested.

UseOfWeapons · 08/04/2023 07:37

No, why would you want to date this lazy arse?

Slitherie · 08/04/2023 07:38

I wouldn’t let any of those things go, he sounds awful - slob

unsync · 08/04/2023 07:40

You are not being picky. You have standards. His don't match yours. Move on.

MaireadMcSweeney · 08/04/2023 07:42

All of those things are deal breakers. Cut him loose.

Shapemyeyebrows · 08/04/2023 07:43

@Cleantre is he a drinker by any chance?

Tilllly · 08/04/2023 07:44

Run

Gistbury · 08/04/2023 07:46

Run for th hills.

category12 · 08/04/2023 07:53

Only keep dating him if you're keeny looking forward to a life of picking up after another person like the maid, arguing over housework and being grossed out.

perfectcolourfound · 08/04/2023 07:58

It seems unfair to compare him to a teenager or a student.... I think he's worse!

I would walk away. Whatever his reason (sheer bone idle laziness / substance abuse / MH issues) do you want to bear the brunt of them?

Lordofthebutterfloofs · 08/04/2023 07:59

Fucking hell op. No.

Do you want to live your life like that? Because that's how it will be. Unless you graft aone to make it different.

No no no no no no

DUMP HIM

BCBird · 08/04/2023 08:02

Raise your bar. A bit of mess woukd be the onli thing I would let go . The rest? Absolutely not.

Needanewnamebeingwatched · 08/04/2023 08:05

He sounds a bit inept and useless, lazy and slobish.

Who wants to marry that, you will be come his housekeeper, cook etc

Not attractive at all.

Chuck him back

pilates · 08/04/2023 08:05

Is this a joke?

I couldn’t even have one date with someone like that.

Honestly, you need to let this one go.

BritInAus · 08/04/2023 08:09

Is this a joke? He sounds revolting.

StLevanBlackcaps · 08/04/2023 08:14

Are you dating my ex?

You're worth more than someone like this, don’t put up with it and don’t think that you can change him.

Seriously79 · 08/04/2023 08:16

Have you spoken to him about any of this OP?

UpUpUpU · 08/04/2023 08:18

Does he have a job OP?

If he was the last man left on earth, it would be a very hard no from me 😷

Seeleyboo · 08/04/2023 08:35

This is his best behaviour. Wait until he stops washing. Is he clean. Does he smell nice. Other than of fags. Throw him back OP and raise the bar

2chocolateoranges · 08/04/2023 08:47

The first one would be enough for me to end a relationship. I can't stand mess and dirt. The second one would make me sick!

Raise your bar!

DatingDinosaur · 08/04/2023 09:23

All of that would give me the ick in a grown man and he's already taking you for granted. At least you've "seen who he really is" early on - as a previous poster said - a lazy slob.

Sounds like he hasn't learned to adult yet.

Yeah, you might have feelings for HIM, but his lifestyle is already niggling you. And this is in the honeymoon phase!

AlisonDonut · 08/04/2023 09:26

WHY? Why do women overlook basics and still continue on with these sad sacks?

I just don't get it.

Sparkletastic · 08/04/2023 09:28

Dear lord I wouldn't hold hands with someone with those low standards of hygiene, let alone have sex with them.

Seaoftroubles · 08/04/2023 09:45

Seriously? Why is your bar set so low O.P? That's the question you should be asking yourself.

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