His history- would this bother you?

[Islesands]

. …. Met someone online and been him for nearly a year and we are older.

From the offset he was honest and said since splitting with his wife 15 years ago he had a fair few relationships. After a few months, he did tell a bit more- he would go online and in particular, on websites for married women, looking for sex. Apparently there are lots of married women looking for extra martial sex but want to stay married, So he had quite a few affairs / sex with married women and it would fizzle out. Then he would meet someone, have a relationship and it would not work out and his heart would be broken, so he would go back online looking for sex and the pattern would start over again. He had around 4 relationships of around 2/3 years and then lots of sex with married women he met online

God I am not snow white and he said he was telling me as he wanted to be honest - and technically he was not doing anything wrong as he was not the married one.

So for the last year we got to know each other and we always seem to have a lovely time (in and out of bed) We have similar interests and outlooks and I have found him to be the most consummate sexual partner and obviously all his past practise is working in my favour ha ha.

He has declared his feeling for him (& I him) we have booked a holiday etc and talked about the future together and he has given me not reason to to doubt him.

But suppose I found some of history uncomfortable / uneasy and I am not sure why. He is fairly sexual liberal - he has had a couple of threesomes with an ex girlfriend around 10 years ago-and other sexual exploits/ activities.

I am trying to work it out and not sure if it there is some jealous feelings on my part or if I find it a all bit repulsive. Or a certain admiration as there has been any times in the past I wanted sex but did not know how to access it. He, like many men have separated sex and feelings and I have always struggled in doing that and was rubbish at one night stands, But in the early days there were times with him when I felt I was just another naked body- he does have a high sex drive.

Also I am bloody 52 and in some ways it is wonderful I had met someone I have a connection with- he is 53 ( our separate kids are grown up)

Would his history bother you? Looking for some insights I suppose….

Urgh I don’t know. But sympathies OP, I can imagine getting myself into this situation

One of my former school mum acquaintances was stuck in a very unhappy marriage but was financially unable/unwilling to separate. She decided to have a "little fun" and joined Illicit Encounters online. This site is for married people who are basically looking for sex with no strings, and boy did she find it. She ended up having sex in her/his cars in car parks, parked up on industrial estates. Few would offer to pay for a hotel. I honestly can't tell you how seedy it all was. And it ended up really messing with her head because these guys would be 100 mph, all intense then boom, have sex and delete your number. I only know this as stupidly I'd be worried about her and make her message me to know she was safe... more fool me, I then became her unwitting ally in it all.

I would run a mile from anyone who actively owned up to this lifestyle.

Why on earth would you consider someone like this?

• was OK with helping women cheat
• seems to be some kind of sex addict who spent his time online looking for women to sleep with
• unable to sustain relationships
• convinced himself that all of the above was perfectly normal.
• trying to sell you his ''honesty''. If he was an honest/decent guy he would not have slept with several married women.

Get an STIs check and run...